My ECD Consultants Journey

What an incredible ride it's been over the past 8 months on my ECD Consultants journey, here are the 5 things I have learnt.

People are scared of sharing their emotions for fear of being judged

The fear of judgment casts a shadow over our willingness to share our emotions with others. It is often what holds us back from expressing our true feelings. In a world where societal norms and expectations exert significant influence, people become apprehensive about being vulnerable and opening up. The fear of being judged becomes a barrier, discouraging us from sharing our innermost thoughts and emotions.

When we hide our emotions, we shield ourselves from potential criticism or rejection. We worry about how others might perceive us, fearing that our vulnerabilities will be misunderstood.?This fear of judgment affects our ability to authentically connect with others, robbing us of the opportunity to be truly seen and understood.

When we express our emotions, we invite others to join us on an emotional journey. By sharing our feelings, we allow others to see us, creating a foundation for deep understanding and compassion. Through this process, we foster an environment that encourages authentic connections built on mutual empathy and acceptance.

Creating a safe and non-judgmental space where people can openly express their emotions is crucial. Workplace psychological safety requires an environment of trust, empathy and acceptance. When individuals feel assured that their emotions will be met with compassion rather than judgment, they are more likely to share their authentic selves and foster deeper connections.

Power of retros and intention setting

I’ve often heard people discuss the benefits of retrospectives and intention setting but I never really embraced them on a personal level.?I used to dwell on the past and try to predict the future.?However, I have come to realise just how mistaken I was.?Engaging in a weekly retrospective has proven to be an immensely powerful practice for me.?It allows me to reflect on my emotions and experiences from the past week, understand the reason behind my actions and reactions and learn from those situations.

Similarly, setting intentions for how I want to feel in the upcoming week has been a game-changer.?It empowers me to consciously choose the emotions I desire for the week ahead.?I often select two intention cards and place them on my fridge as a visual reminder for my chosen emotional state for the week ahead.

I have discovered the compelling nature of daily intention setting.?During times of stress, I have worked with members of my team and peers to set intentions in the morning, even when we feel drained and tired.?Reflecting on our positive intentions at the end of the day has made a remarkable difference during the day. ?It is remarkable how our self-perception influences our experience.?If we convince ourselves that we will feel tired, we inevitably feel that fatigue. On the other hand, if we affirm that we are energised, we tap into energy we never knew we had.

Engaging in retrospectives and setting intentions has proven to be an immensely powerful practice.?It offers an understanding of our emotions, the opportunity to learn from the past and the ability to shape our future experiences.?Whether on a weekly or daily basis, these practices have the potential to transform our outlook and ultimately enhance our overall well-being.

People actually don’t know what or how they feel

How frequently have you encountered the familiar exchange of words when asked the question ‘How are you?’ ?‘I’m good, I’m ok, I’m great.’ These conditioned replies often mask the reality of how people truly feel.?In our fast-paced world, it becomes essential to create the space and time to sit with our emotions and genuinely reflect on how we are truly feeling.

The question arises …. Do we possess the vocabulary and language to accurately describe our emotions??During the numerous workshops I have run in the past eight months, I have witnessed participants experiencing profound ‘ah-ha’ moments when they are able to identify and label their feelings.?Even though they may initially express that the words used may not perfectly describe their emotions, they realise that these feelings genuinely resonate with them.?Through the process of unpacking and naming their emotions, a weight seems to be lifted off their shoulders, granting them a sense of release.

In emails where I am asked the customary ‘How are you?’ question, I often find myself reaching for my ECD cards.?I deliberately share 3-5 feelings that accurately represent my true emotional state.?I receive interesting reactions from recipients occasionally prompting a phone call.

In a world of surface-level interaction, taking the time to truly recognise and express our feelings can be a game-changer.?By embracing our emotions and finding the language to describe them, we not only gain a better understanding of ourselves, but we also invite others to engage with us on a more authentic and meaningful way.

Freedom through identifying your emotions

Freedom through identifying your emotions is a transformative and empowering journey that has reshaped my life.?Emotions are an intricate part of our human experience, serving as a guidepost to our innermost selves.?Often, we limit ourselves by our personal limitations by unspoken rules that restrict our ability to truly understand and express our emotions.

I came across this quote a little while ago

‘Feeling is the language of the soul.?If you want to know what’s true for you about something, look to how you’re feeling about it.’

It is through the recognition and acknowledgement of our emotions that we begin to unravel the layers of our authentic selves.?Each emotion carries a message, a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered.?By delving into our feelings, we gain valuable insights into our desires, fears and aspirations.

My ECD journey has taught me the importance of creating space to acknowledge and comprehend my emotions.?By disconnecting from external noise, I have discovered a profound sense of self-awareness and have created deeper emotional connections with those who matter most to me.

Relationships and emotions

During my ECD journey, I conducted a couple of experiments to enhance my emotional connections with others. One such experiment involved using ECD during a first date, aiming to go beyond surface-level conversations and delve into deeper emotional understanding. Instead of the typical small talk, I asked my date "When you think about your past week, how have you felt?" This question sparked a genuine and meaningful connection, allowing me to get to know the person on a much deeper level. Prior to the date, I did inform my date about the ECD cards to ensure transparency.

After dating someone for six weeks, I used ECD to initiate a conversation about how they would like to feel/not feel in a relationship.?It created an atmosphere of openness and vulnerability allowing us to explore our emotions with honesty and authenticity.

Using the ECD cards as a guide, we entered into a thought-provoking discussion about our desires, expectations and emotional needs within a relationship.?It was a chance for us to reflect on our individual experiences and articulate what we hope we needed in terms of emotional connection, support and overall well-being.

By using ECD in this conversation, we moved beyond surface-level conversations and established a stronger emotional foundation.?It allowed us to identify potential gaps or misunderstandings and align our expectations more closely.?Through this process, we were able to build trust and nurture a deeper emotional connection, providing a sense of security.

The impact of this conversation extended beyond that particular moment.?It set the tone for future interactions, encouraging ongoing emotional communication and creating a safe space for open conversation.?It empowered us to prioritise emotional well-being and actively work towards creating an environment that honoured our individual feelings and needs.

Here are a few ways you can learn more about The Emotional Culture Deck:

• Visit?www.theemotionalculturedeck.com
• Download a free Lo-fi PDF version of the deck at the website,?click here
• Complete The ECD Online Masterclass course as I did?here
• If you still have questions, feel free to contact me here for a chat