My deconstructed work-life balance

I'm sure that we have all read plenty about work-life balance. Ultimately it comes down to prioritizing the little time we have without feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

The way I see it, there is life, and work is a big part of it. I am wholeheartedly guilty of allowing work and life to battle it out for my time on the same stage. In reality, they're not in the same league. Without life, there is no work, and therein lies my truth. Me. I'm somewhere between work and life. If I want the privilege of balancing work and life, I need to prioritize me so that I can bring my whole self to both life and work. This realization has changed my perspective on the matter.

I know that I have habits that need to change in order for me to be my best self, and now is the time to build that solid foundation. Equipped with a solid understanding of habits and how they work, I took a long hard look around me and here's how I'm developing my sustainable work-life balance by focusing on me, and honouring those around me.

Be inspired, every day. Last year I cleaned out my network to surround myself with positive, focused people who have an eye towards success and healthy choices. There is no shortage of ideas and innovative approaches being shared on all of my social media feeds that always give me something to think about. Be it professional or personal, I find a little bit of inspiration every day. In 2018, I'm taking all of that inspiration and taking my first-ever mentor's advice and starting to keep a notebook full of ideas, to action when the opportunity comes. How will I recognize those opportunities? Every day I've started practicing yoga to give me at least 30 minutes clarity where I've allowed my brain to run with everything it has learned. My goal is to gain that extra focus so I can make connections faster and easier throughout the day.

Be kind to myself. My struggle with perfectionism has not been an easy one. Do more, be better, make no mistakes, do whatever it takes... The constant attempts to reach unreasonable goals are tiring at best, and I still struggle with setting realistic deadlines that won't burn me out. I've never been good at under-promising and over-delivering. I always over-promise and deliver, which isn't a very sustainable approach. I need to find that balance in order to take on more of the self-care activities I have planned. To that end, I always ask my leaders to give me feedback on lead times and timelines, and I am fortunate to have a supportive team to help me set realistic deadlines as my responsibilities increase and my team grows.

Plan, plan, and plan some more. In the first meeting with my president this year he complimented my planning skills. I have nailed planning professionally, but I struggle to plan personally. I plan social engagements and external-facing events that involve others, but I don't plan for myself. I don't plan my "me" time, my exercise time, my meals, my cooking time, or any time where I'm alone. I need to change this so I can easily prioritize the things that allow me to focus on myself. I've started a new Google Calendar just for "me" stuff to keep me focused and accountable.

Ask for what I need vs. want. In a time where needs and wants are a blurred line away, I've gotten really good at identifying what a need is personally. Professionally, it's a new development. A general criticism of women in the workplace is that they never ask for they need to maintain their enthusiasm. This holds them back from promotions, raises, etc... I know I'm terrible at asking for what I need. I may build up resentment for people not knowing what I would need to reach my goals, but it's time that I stop relying on others, start making my needs clear without imposition. If the expectation is that I complete something, here is a list of the items I need in order to complete it. This sounds logical and easy enough, but in practice, it's a conversation I need to have a million times in my head before I verbalize it. Work in progress, but I need to start asking for what I need.

Ask for forgiveness. I'm the queen of apologies and "sorry." I understand that this is a side-effect of my upbringing, but something I've been itching to address. Many leaders have told me that I need to stop apologizing for things that are out of my control. It's been a tough habit to break, so thanks to some inspiration and great conversation with some brilliant people, I've decided to turn the tables. Forgiveness requires asking someone to give you that forgiveness. It's owning to a mistake you made and understanding who you wronged and how. It's not something you offer without any stock in it being well-received or not, it's something you ask of the wronged party and allow them the opportunity to decide if they give it to you or not. This makes it a more self-aware process as opposed to the time-honoured one-sided apology.

At the end of the day, I need to be my best self in order to keep both work and life balanced, for me. At this point in my life and career, this is where I'm at in order to wrap my head around work-life balance.

Do you have any strategies that you employ to take yourself to the next level? Let's get inspired together.