Is my Daughter safe?
Col Prabir Sengupta, VSM
PassionatePrabir| MotivationalSpeaker| YOUthmentor| TEDxSpeaker| JoshTalks| WOmenSAFetyPractitioner| FacultyIIT
Women safety is a topic evoking different responses depending on the gender. The 'men', conveniently, are not part of the narrative. "Oh!, another ranting about women safety" or "It's a women's issue; it doesn't effect me" or words to that effect. Notice, how every Mar 08th, when religiously, organizations hold various programs on Women's day, the men are missing. Women Safety is primarily about men!!! Period! Each one is part of the issue or has to be part of the solution. Well, if you've a mother, sister, wife, daughter - you are effected! Besides the majority of the crimes committed are by men and hence they ought to be part of the discussion.
If you've felt threatened/ frightened/ intimidated walking alone at night or wondered what to do to stave off an attacker, here is a quick recap of things that need to be done on priority.
We are living in an increasingly violent society with women folk targeted for all kinds of sexual assaults. The media houses are playing to the galleries (eye-balls) and further damaging the societal norms. Thus personal safety has become an issue especially for women. I've often penned my thoughts on this. So here goes:
One. Be Aware .
Women, are naturally gifted with a very strong 'gut-feeling'. Coupled with a very sensitive hypothalamus, they can sense danger. The 'protector' of progeny, sitting in the cave, she was responsible for their safety. She had a near 270 degree vision and hence see without moving her head. All these factors, led to her developing a very keen sixth sense, which warns her of danger. Trust your gut-feel.
Self Defence is a misleading word! My 25 years in the uniform has taught me, Offence is the Only Defence. Before even contemplating any action - remember/ understand not being in such situations is the first step. Prevention is better - always! Therefore, its pertinent to Be Aware . Of your surroundings, always. No earplugs listening to music please! it makes you vulnerable.
The police had done profiling of 'potential victims of sexual assault' with regular offenders. The foremost thing that stood out was, that they chose targets who appear to be unaware of what is going around them. Head down shoulders drooping walking in unawareness, looking/ searching for keys in the purse. Be confident. Look around. Tell the offender that, "I see you" - should there be a police line-up, I will/can identify you.
Two. Be Physically Agile .
In your daily routine, fit in at least one physical activity. This will keep you agile. Should there be a necessity, you could ward off such danger with agility of mind and body. Combined with presence of mind, this will lead to our second principle: Be Alert .
Three. Escape .
Don't stay put to fight. This is possible only in Bollywood! Run. The Army has a dictum: Avoid, Bypass, Confuse, Distract. Follow these ABCDs for your survival. Should he have a gun, Run. The chances of hitting a running target is minuscule. Run and seek help. At times, sliding under the car/ vehicle too is recommended. There are quite a few things to grab underside. The culprit will try and grab either the hair or ankles and pull. The fear of being detected prevents him from staying at the crime scene for long. Running to an ATM also makes sense as most of them are 24/7 manned besides the camera which will help catch the culprit.
Shout!!! Yelling increases aggression by 40 percent. Now you know why the new breed of women tennis players scream. But shouting for help is generally considered futile. Therefore, shout, "Fire, Fire" - which invariably has evinced response.
Four. Fight .
Despite all the above, there still could be instances where it could happen that you need to stand up and put up a fight. The 'perceived' strength is in your mind. Remember your school days: it's always easy to bully the biggest bully - just stand up! Here too, you could take the culprit with surprise. Know where to strike besides his 'family jewels'. Surprise is your biggest ally. Strike Hard . Strike Fast . Strike for Effect .
One could always master the art of using daily use things to protect oneself. With little practice and basic knowledge, you could incapacitate the culprit. Be careful about 'Self Defence' as the law draws a very fine line; you cannot photograph emotions for proof!!! "I felt threatened".
Be Aware . Be Alert . Be Safe .
The author conducts women safety sessions under WOSAF with SITCON (situation control) measures.
Psychologist at cure.fit (cult.fit), freelancing,CatFit, army jaipur, Mavehealth.com, counsel India , Docvita.
5 年Very practical tips col Prabir. Thanks
Commanders Organic Farm
6 年Very useful post. Shared it on all my networks. Cheers !