My Dads Purpose

It was my father’s consecration today here in Sydney. For my U.S. friends, that’s the unveiling. For my non-Jewish friends, it's when we return to the cemetery within a year of the funeral, and you have a memorial service after the tombstone has been built.?

The Rabbi who led the memorial service, offered us a chance to say a few words, so I wrote (with my sister’s assistance) a short 1 pager that I read out loud today. When I was writing it, I was a little emotional, but never thought I would tear up as much as I did when I read it out today. To say it was a little emotional is an understatement.?

I learned a long time ago that sometimes you can’t control your emotions. You may want to but depending on your mental state and frame of reference, you simply need to let it out.

I’ve been shaped a lot by my parents so sharing what I said today is I believe part of people learning who I am, so here goes.

Prior to my dad's passing in March of 2022, my sister and I asked him a series of questions (I was inspired by this post). We recorded it all and decided to watch them all for the first time yesterday.

Questions about his life, what he was most proud of, what inspired him, any secrets, any regrets and several others. It was clear that through all the questioning, there was one thing that shone through across it all and that was how proud he was of his family.?

We sometimes asked the same question in a different way to see what the response was, and it nearly always came back to him being proud.?

Watching these recordings showed just how at peace he was with his life. Complete in every way. It was as if he had achieved everything he wanted to achieve and was ready to leave us. Nothing more to achieve as he had achieved it. It was simple and inspiring. A loving family was his mission and he completed it.

My dad lived a life and through many ups and downs, always was able to get through things.

From the trials and tribulations of growing up in Odessa with little money, to meeting my mother and them starting a family. To them moving to Australia with nothing and starting from scratch. My dad had a positive attitude in all aspects of his life, no matter how challenging life really was behind the scenes.

Through all of his ups and downs, and clearly many health problems, he with the help of my mother instilled important values in my sister and me.?

To be kind, curious, positive, appreciative, humble and present. And of course the passion for music which lives through all of us. Whether it’s playing music or admiring it, he taught us that in every way.

Our dad will always be in our hearts and minds and we are forever grateful.

So much so that a month or so back, I had a dream where I heard a knock on our front door (back in NY). I came to the door and was greeted with 2 policemen dressed in the finest NY police uniform. As I looked at them, the man on the left was my father. He looked directly at me and without hesitating, turned around to look at the street, almost to stay watch on the outside, while the other policeman continued to talk to me. I have no recollection of what the other policeman said as I was taken aback by the other man (who was playing my dad clearly), who was exactly my Dad, looking healthy and strong. I rarely remember my dreams but clearly this one had a bigger impact on me.?

Although I do believe in spirits, I have little understanding as to what the dream actually meant.?

For me it was a sign that he’s at peace while looking over us, and frankly we can’t ask for much more.