My Covid tests came back negative.

My Covid tests came back negative. Thank God, I "just" have pneumonia. Who would have thought that this would be a blessing? But it is. The last few weeks I obliviously met with various clients and international diplomats who felt at peace coming to Africa because we were (then) virus free... They flew in from all corners of the world... on aeroplanes where all passengers breath in the same germ-laden, filthy recycled air... some from countries that now have an inconceivable number of infections, some with mass fatalities... to attend functions, meetings and socials, shaking hundreds of hands, mine too... some hugged me and I hugged my children and my husband... a colleague hugged me, and I sat and stood too close to some of my employees... I stood too close to someone in the shopping queue... I should have shopped less... I shouldn't have touched the money from the cashier... or given money to the car guard and the homeless woman... I should've paid closer attention or gone to the doctor earlier, especially when it felt like I was breathing through a wet facecloth and my lungs burnt like fire... My mind was a rollercoaster ride twisting the could've, should've, didn't moments, before jolting back to rational, deliberate, positive thinking: I've always been an OCD hand washer, I use antibacterial sprays on shopping trolleys, on my hands and my handbag, in my car, the dishwasher, the counter sanitiser, furniture polish and tile cleaner. Surely, I wouldn't get it...

But what if I did... The building across the driveway in our office park had two confirmed cases... What if they used our general facilities or shared public transport with my staff... So, I self-isolated every employee 8 days before government did to protect my team, our clients and our families... I purposely didn't visit my almost 80-year old mother to shield her from the virus, knowing that she was also going into lockdown for 21 days... God knows, my prayers were plentiful for my family, my colleagues and clients, my friends, my family, my family...

And then I got sick, overnight. My fever spiked to 38.6°, my lungs felt like they were going to explode with every breath I strangled out, my throat was raw, and my coughs feeble attempts to try suck in air. That's good, I thought. Corona makes you cough, and I wasn't not coughing nearly enough or violently enough.

My husband insisted I see the doctor. I went to the local hospital to meet my doctor and was given a mask and told to wait in my car, someone would come for me. A nurse in a hazmat suit fetched me. They checked my vitals, saw how I struggled to breathe through the mask and booked me for a long scan. It showed a severe lung infection and with my spiked temperature they called the Covid hotline. They considered me a potential risk and I was given a Covid test number: 25,000+ something. Long cotton buds swabbed my throat and nose, so deep, I thought it pierced my brain. I vomited on the floor... Faith carried me through one of my darkest 48-hours while I waited for my results. When the doctor called to tell me that I'm negative for Covid, and that I "only" have pneumonia, asthma and a respiratory infection, I rejoiced and thanked God humbly on my knees for giving me another chance - to never be that blasé about my health again, and to never be that ignorant about health issues that could have infected my loved ones, my cherished colleagues, clients and friends.

I'm thankful for the shakeup and the reminder that I am dependent on God who carries us through the hard times when we cannot walk. I am grateful that I can stand on His word that He has "plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

And we need to accept that and live accordingly. Hindsight turns anyone into an all-knowing genius. Retrospect gives us the opportunity to know where we've been, the insight to know what needs to change, and the foresight to know where we're going.

May your lockdown journey be a negative one - for Covid that is - and may you use this unusual time to re-experience your family, rekindle relationships and create and capture beautiful moments with them. You never know if you will ever get this quality, confined time with them again.

#lockdown #diaryentry #day1 #covid_19 #prguru #pr #prworx