My Client Managed Being Triggered

My client came to a session after being unexpectedly ‘triggered’.

She has been sitting in a village hall, supporting a friend who was giving a community talk.

There were images of desert warfare on the screen.

She felt herself go into reaction.

Yes, some memories bounced into her mind but she felt it in her body.

She noticed herself freezing slowly down, to stay ‘in control’.

She did a good job. No one would have known what was going on inside her but keeping herself together completely exhausted her.

The next few days were spent tired with poor restless, jittery sleep.

She was just waiting for our session. Knowing it was coming was very reassuring for her. She knew she would be able to unpick it all and be supported through the process.

Together we slowed the reactions down, invited reflection, and space.

She felt shame and frustration.

Questions came up.

• Haven’t I dealt with this already?
• How many more times must I face this?
• Can't I just get on with my life?

Slowly, we took care of the parts of her that were carrying the weight.

Then, as we opened it up more, she realised what her mind and body had been protecting her from...

Abject fear.

Full-body memories from the times when she was first in the helicopter and was first on the scene.

At the time she just did what she had to do. She wouldn't have stopped or hesitated. People needed her help and she was a helper.

She’d push aside the fear, so she could act. She saved many lives.

Faceless, nameless lives.

In the dark nights she still wonders, where are they now?

But back in the village hall, she automatically did what she had always done.

Pushed down the fear.

Muttering to herself, I’m safe. I’m safe.

With some laughter and some tears, we explored further.

Was this a lifelong pattern, to be the helper?

As we dig deeper we discovered it wasn't the gory memories that this was rooted in but the times before this when she wasn't allowed to help those who needed it.

Part of her still wanted to go to every single hurt person. To help them until everyone was ok again.

An unreasonable calling to never give up.

We wondered if this was the source of her ‘undischarged energy’ so common in trauma response.

The body gets abruptly stopped, in the middle of immense adrenaline. And all that energy… where does it go?

Sometimes it seeps out unwarranted, unhelpful.

In her case, suddenly in that village hall, she’d wanted to help her friend, to feel what he’d felt, help carry his pain. Her hands trembled. Her stomach clenched. A familiar swooping feeling of ‘this is it’.

But she stopped herself - in case it got too much.

In case she opened the can of worms lurking beneath.

In case she lost control in public.

But she was then left with the shame of stopping.

By working together and exploring the deep and the dark, she was able to make peace with these hurting parts of herself.

Together we made sense of the chaos.

She left the call realising just how well she had done in that village hall last week.

She realised that she can trust herself.

Collapse is not imminent.

Most importantly, she felt a shift of hope.

This will not always be how it is.

I’m her ‘expert companion’.

Her listener without question.

Her massive safe space to open cans of worms and explore deepest fears.

Someone to laugh and cry with - yet who she doesn’t need to ‘take turns’ with - the conversation was ?? on her terms.

Peace and freedom to talk and think freely. To process the tricky bits so she can be vividly part of her family as her whole self.

You might think having an expert companion is some sort of luxury.

But what about if they are the difference that makes the difference.

Life - if it feels like it’s not worth the effort you are putting into it, get in touch pronto.

I am here to guide you and ease suffering so you can get the fun back you deserve. Read more about this on my website .