“My children aren’t ready”

It is not uncommon for the incumbent generation of a family enterprise to tell me that in his/her view the next generation isn’t ready to lead the business. If the children are in their formative years say, their 20s and 30s, that statement makes perfect sense, and I wouldn’t explore the topic further.

However, when the next generation have been working in the family enterprise for much of their working life, and in their mid 40s+, when the current generation tells me “my children aren’t ready”, I want to understand the circumstances and observations that informed this view.

In unpacking the reasons and rationale as to why the kids aren’t ready, it isn’t a one-way street (i.e. the kids need to step up, change, be better). ?I think it is important for the incumbent generation to self- reflect and consider the following:

Were you ready?

When you founded the enterprise – or took over the business – were you 100% ready to take on the role? Did you know what you were stepping into? When I ask incumbents, none have ever given me a resounding ‘yes’. ?

Some incumbents may say that it was hard for them and argue they want to spare the kids the same experience. This is understandable, however the challenges and failures you experienced have shaped you into the leader you are now.

Being a ‘bulldozer parent’ – clearing the way so your kids have a clear and uninterrupted path – may not lead to the best outcome. Learning by doing and experiencing occasional failures has proven to be the optimal approach.

Tell me and I forget, Teach me and I remember, Involve me and I will learn. ~ Benjamin Franklin, 1750

A planned and well considered transition from the incumbent generation to the next generation involves working in parallel for a period, with the next generation progressively stepping up into leadership and the incumbent stepping back, to pursue the next role in the family enterprise.

Are you ready?

Is it the case that the children aren’t ready……. or is it you who isn’t ready? Are you unnecessarily delaying planning and implementing transition? In my experience with families, this can be the actual underlying challenge. I say challenge, because many incumbent leaders struggle to envisage themselves not being the leader and in control. And having a new identity and goals which are no longer intertwined with the business. ?

So perhaps the questions should be re-ordered and reframed, with the incumbent to consider:

• Am I genuinely committed to transition? What is my inner conflict and how can I resolve it?
• What should I be doing to empower my children to achieve their aspirations and goals? ?