My Buddy, The One Legged Pigeon.

I see him every day at lunch, and every time I see him...it breaks my heart. My wife stops by my office and picks me up for lunch 3 times a week and we always go to the same restaurant, which is just up the road, and we order the same salad.

 My one legged pigeon has the same lunch schedule as we do. Same restaurant, same time, but doesn’t order the salad.

 He actually has two legs but one is broken and he can’t stand on it. So, there he is everyday looking for crumbs, hopping around hoping to beat the 2-legged pigeons to the meal. He drags his leg and it looks so painful (even though pigeons can't grimace).

 Here’s the crazy thing; he looks just as healthy as the other pigeons. So, that tells me he has adjusted to his one leg and is doing just fine. So why do I feel so sorry for him?

 Because I make stuff up.

Here’s what I do. I attach a story to this pigeon’s life that makes me feel sorry for him. I convince myself of how difficult it must be, for him, balancing on one leg for the rest of his life. I wonder if he is able to stand on a wire like the other pigeons. I dwell on how painful it must have been when he broke his leg. I am saddened that he or the other pigeons are unable to help him mend his leg. Thank goodness I haven’t named this pigeon. That would really make me an emotional mess.

 That’s my version of this pigeon’s life.

 Here’s the reality.

 The pigeon is just fine, animals and birds simply adapt to their “disability.” The pigeon doesn’t feel sorry for himself and the other pigeons don’t feel sorry for him. It is survival of the fittest and so far this guy is doing just fine.

 The purpose of this post is to illustrate how we embellish and make up stories that, oftentimes, have no basis in reality and lead to fractured relationships. Someone says something in a loud voice and we assume they are yelling at us (that's our story). They might just be loud talkers.

 We read things into email messages all the time. We might picture someone yelling at us or being rude to us when, in reality, that person might have been in a hurry and haphazardly wrote the message without much editing. There was no malice intended.

 We have to be aware of the emotions we attach to other peoples actions or the stories we make up. If you say, “Hello” to someone and they ignore you it doesn’t necessarily mean they are being rude. That person might not have heard you. He could have been thinking of something else and was too focused to notice you or, he might have purposely been trying to ignore you. The bottom line is…we just don’t know.

 Stop making stuff up. It adds a lot of drama to our lives but it doesn’t serve us well.

What story have you made up today?