My BP Internship: Wins and Losses (Day 32)

As I sit here with my Strawberry Cheesecake Halo Top (please try it, it’s to die for), I can’t help but reflect on my summer thus far. I’ve had a couple of wins...a few losses...and lots of challenges. I told myself this would be a summer like no other. (And for the most part, this one has definitely stood out.)

I set out to achieve some lofty goals and knew that with initiative, hard work, and preparation, I could accomplish them. Happy to say, I’m making strides in doing just that...but the journey has not been perfect. I want to take a somewhat quick trip down memory lane. I like to save the best (and positive) for last, so I'll begin with the less than stellar moments. Let's get started, shall we?

LOSSES:

1. Get to Know You (GTKY) Chats: Overall, these have been great, but to be honest, a few of them have been quite awkward...mostly because of me. Even after sending out an invite (with a lovely agenda I might add), sometimes the conversations fell flat, my questions sounded weird, or maybe, the pause was just too pregnant. I gave the GTKYs my best shot, now that--I can admit. And I still have a few lined up for the rest of the summer. Let’s just hope for my guests’ sake, I get better at these.
2. Introductions and Small Talk: I’ve already said this, but I’ll say it again. (I wish I could scream it to the world.) I SUCK AT SMALL TALK. Don’t get me wrong, I do it, but when it starts to feel like a bragging contest about schools people have gone to and accolades obtained, I check out. When I’m conversing with people, most times, I truly just want to get to know them and learn about their journey. (Rarely, am I trying to intentionally get something out of the person...not unless it’s for a project.) Although I've always got my elevator speech tucked away, I guess I just have to get used to chatting with colleagues who care a bit more about sharing all of the things they’re great at. (I care--but up to a point. If only I had a better poker face.)
3. Challenging Leaders: I’ve had some time to observe leaders. I’ve also had some time to develop a few ideas about the type of leader I want to one day become. I’m hoping that as I get more senior, I feel more comfortable challenge the decisions people make. Although I feel confident voicing my recommendations, I feel like I should be stepping up more when I see that something could be done better...or in a more efficient way. I’ve talked to colleagues who in some ways revel pushing back against leaders. To be quite honest, I’m not as comfortable with that yet. A part of me feels like if I do this, then my job security will be at stake. Whatever the case may be, I’m pretty sure a time will come when I'll need to step up and push back. Hopefully, I’ll be ready.

WINS:

1. This Blog: One thing I like about myself is that I’m consistent. (I try to be consistent with the good things...That’s not always the case, but hey, I’m learning.) I enjoyed writing my posts and ruminating on what I’ve learned. It’s been therapeutic. Communicating through writing is much easier for me. For some reason, I feel like I can express more thoughts more clearly. Regardless of anyone reading this (bonus points if they do), I’m glad I’ll be able to look back on my journey at BP.
2. Raising My Hand: I hate to admit this, but once upon a time, I don’t think I was as driven as I would’ve liked to be. I’m proud of myself for raising my hand for different opportunities and sometimes, taking on more than I could handle. I now understand what it means to take initiative and drive results. I’m looking forward to supporting more colleagues with additional projects before the summer ends. (And if I’m lucky, maybe food will be involved.)
3. Relationship with My Manager: This summer, I’ve gotten a chance to truly get to know my supervisor. I know her values, career aspirations, and pain points. I even know a little bit about her family. I’m happy that we are able to not only talk about project work and BP, but mid sentence, switch to food and fun. It feels good to be able to share your weaknesses with your manager and collaborate with her on how to either mitigate them or turn them into strengths. It also feels good to have an ally, and dare I say champion? (For the longest, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. And maybe, just maybe, my wish has been granted this summer.)

Well, it’s time to get back to my Halo Top. Cheers to a fulfilling second half of the summer!

#MyBPInternship