My Boss Can't Stand Me

YOU have the perfect job and simply love what you are doing. There’s just one problem – your boss does not seem to like you.

Life can be extremely difficult when colleagues make it clear they don’t particularly like you. But it’s a different ball game but when the colleague who doesn’t seem to like is your boss because that can make life seriously unbearable.

Your resultant lack of happiness at work can sap your confidence, reduce your motivation and cut your resilience to the point where you feel like the only alternative is to “jump ship”.

Leaving your job because your boss does not like you should always be a last resort. As an alternative, consider diagnosing the situation and developing a plan to bridge the relationship gap.

The first step is to consider whether there are enough signs to confirm that the situation is real and not simply a gut feeling or an overreaction on your part.

Does your boss, for example, seem to talk to you through other people and rarely make direct contact with you? Or is your angst driven by the fact that you are left out of important meetings and not given vital information to enable you to do your job effectively?   

Perhaps it is simply that the boss makes regular small talk with your co-workers but avoids you like the proverbial plague. Or maybe it is that your boss assigns the most interesting projects to others and avoids giving you any feedback. Worst still, your boss seems to lock horns with you whenever you two interact.

If you are still unclear on whether your boss likes you, consider taking some steps to see if you can improve your predicament. 

As a starting point, entertain the possibility that the problem might be you and not your boss. 

Have you, for example, had a history of clashing with your previous bosses or reacting badly to feedback? Do you have difficulty with receiving direction from a supervisor? 

If it turns out that you are the problem, take a step back and decide what your approach needs to be going forward.

Consider also turning to your colleagues.  Asking for some pointers from a trusted co-worker, one who the boss does like, might hold the key to getting your relationship back on track.

Think also about growing your support base amongst your co-workers. The positive endorsement you receive from your co-workers might go a long way towards changing your boss’ attitude towards you.

But if you are really troubled by your boss’ attitude towards you, think seriously about requesting a meeting to discuss how you feel. 

Such a meeting can be framed around you seeking advice to become more effective in the workplace and might just reveal there has been a misunderstanding, and that you can work through this issue and get the relationship with your boss back on track.