My Boss the Bully

When you think of the word "bully" what comes to mind? If you are like most people, you may think about a young child, student, teenager or something like that.

Yes, bullying starts with children however, what happens to bullies who grow up?

They become our bosses and CEO's who bully their employees.

Why don't people ever talk about bullying in leadership?

After a brief survey, it was revealed that most people don't speak about bullying in the workplace because they are afraid of losing their jobs.

As a matter of fact, when I posed the question, some people wouldn't even comment publicly about it. My inbox was filled that day let me tell you.

Another reason is because people think of the term bully is reserved only for children however when bullies grow up, do you think they are automatically reformed?

Of course not. Most people don't change unless they are motivated to do so.

Child bullies become adults who bully and after the strong responses that I received from my question, this is a subject that we need to bring more awareness about.

So how can you tactfully bring awareness to leaders who bully their team?

Confront them. Approach the leader and ask them if you could have a minute of their time. Let them know your concerns and be open and honest about it.

There are only two ways this could go.

Either they will take heed to this information and work towards changing or they will be very upset and cause a major riff.

So let's deal with both responses.

The first response is the ideal situation where you address a concern with someone and let them know how their behavior is affecting you. They apologize, ask how they can change and work proactively towards that change.

However, this is the real world and the chances of it happening this way are very low.

The reason so many people avoid conflict is because they cannot control the other person's response to the conflict.

The only person you can and should control is yourself so when you focus on controlling you, it becomes easier to confront issues instead of avoiding them.

And honestly, this is what fuels the bully.

They rely on the fact that people will not confront them due to the ability of not knowing how or controlling their response.

And often times they respond inappropriately so they intimidate others into not confronting them.

So, let's say the leader responds inappropriately. They get angry. They get loud. They cause an even bigger confrontation. And you may even get fired.

What now?

Is this the end of the world?

Of course its not.

If you were laid off your job, (which by the way, you cannot control that either) what would you do?

This is what you must focus on when confronting this issue. If you cover the biggest objections and the worst thing that could happen, it will help you face the confrontation head on and not be so attached to the outcome.

So what are some ways you can confront a leader who uses their position to bully others?