My Biz is a Mouthy Teen! 13 Lessons for My Business's 13th Birthday

My business is a teen with attitude!

In 2008, I knew I'd start my own business.

Hell, I knew earlier. It took me until 2008 to say, 'Damn It! It's time.' I was very pregnant (tell it to my swollen feet!) when I realized it had to be then. It had to be. Me? I was a VP in marketing in tech and I was not happy. I was great at my job. I had more to do and give. It was my zone of excellence - not my zone of genius.

My goal? To humanize how we connect with communications, marketing and more by combining my comedy and business backgrounds. Over time. I would realize that it wasn't just a cosmetic thing; it was all business that needed a human injection and needed it BAD. And that meant rewiring how cultures, leaders and teams operate. Simply put, if a company doesn't value X, then X can't be a credible part of your brand. So I knew we had to work upstream.

A Baby - And a Business - is Born

So after my son, Evan, was born, it was time. What better time to launch a new business than right after 1) giving birth & 2) during mortgage meltdown? Ha!

I started my business and in 2009 got the name 'Keeping it Human.' It came from my first two clients. They said that to me and I thought, "well that works!" In Feb 2010, I formally launched my website, and stepped into the unknown. I have learned a lot in 13 years, had some wins, experienced setbacks and fabulous highs while building a family. To celebrate that journey, here are 13 lessons.

My Biggest Lessons

1.Don't Half-Ass it.?I felt small for a time...after 15+ years in tech and in comedy. These were tough environments for women. The honest part is those wounds kept me small. I was harassed, I was gaslit; I was bullied for speaking up and trying to raise the bar. I was the only woman in a room many times. I 'hokey-pokey-ed' my life. I had one foot in and one foot out. That's no way to live. Look it's fun as a kid playing the game. When you are trying to be all in, though, that's scary AF. You deserve visibility - it takes time and belief. Don't 'hokey-pokey' that for too long. It keeps you stuck. Take time and find a way to move forward.

2. Community is immunity.?There is no guarantee of success. However, it's so important to find people who challenge you and BELIEVE in you along the way. I wish I had done this earlier - find my community. You don't need people to agree with you; you need people who believe in you and hold you to a standard you are worthy of. Your people should challenge you, hold you accountable and hug you when you need it. And maybe a bitchslap or two. Hint: you'll need it! If the room you are in does not do that, leave it. RUN! Find yourself rooms that have your back. It builds your immunity to the tough stuff. You can handle that road when you have a village to support you. You need to show up and have others' back in ways you want people to have yours. I learned not every room and every table is worth having a seat at. If it make you feel like shit, it's not for you.

'3. Yes And' as much as you can.?I have been doing improv since Jesus was a baby - ha!- and one thing that has never changed in my life, is how much we have to step out on a limb and how often we have to improvise! Many times, I had an idea and didn't know how I would 'get there.' You won't always know how you are going to get 'there.' You don't have to have all the answers before you start. And you'll have to improvise because things change. Last year when Covid hit, 60% of my business was gone. I had to figure out how to take things online in a Zoom (insert your meeting software here) environment. You may not think you are an improviser. You are - we all are in business because we have to adapt. We can't argue with it. Covid happened, for example, and we had to say 'OK, yes, and let's get to work and figure this out." Yogi Berra said, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." Yes and...embrace the unexpected. Play the scene you are in. You cannot know all the variables. And you'll be ready for Medicare if you wait for it. 'Yes and' yourself (it's a keynote I give!).

4. Be humble about the stumble.?You will screw up. I like to see these as life lessons and stories. So stop beating yourself up. Own the lessons, share them with humility and humor - they make great stories. Learn, grow and move on. Be gentle with yourself and others. You'll need it. Grace for others and yourself.

5. Humor yourself.?Yes, always. It's part of my wiring and what I do in the world. And YOU will need it. Laugh at yourself first. Then, ask, 'What the hell do I need to learn from this?' And find the play and enjoy every day. Some days will be hard. That's why we need to remember WHY we are doing this. Better, not bitter.

6. All people are hungry for connection and confidence.?It doesn't matter who you are, we all want connection and confidence. Even leaders. I have had so many amazing conversations with leaders and aspiring leaders along my journey and the one thing they tell me over and over is 'I am working on connecting by building the best parts of who I am.' That means self-awareness. Work on self-awareness and learn from everyone. Be genuinely curious about others.

7. There are no 'only marketing' problems.?When I started my business I worked with marketing teams. Today I work with marketing AND other teams across organizations. Marketing problems are never in a silo. Ever. They include people challenges, safety, trust, creativity. Behind every marketer saying 'we need help' is a human that needs support and has a team hungry for creativity and for a culture that recognizes and supports them. The culture-content connection is real. If content teams are struggling, it's never just about that team. Look to the culture. Be open and use everything you got in your problem-solving arsenal. Holsters are optional if you can pull that look off;-)

8. Stories are everything.?Stories are everywhere and often in the places we don't want to explore. Mistakes and failures shape and inform us. Stories create and hurt culture. Stories inspire people or shut them down. You are always telling stories. How you show up, how you speak up, how you conduct yourself, how you stand by your values. So mind the stories you also tell yourself - they matter so very much. One of my fave books, The Four Agreements, says 'Be Impeccable with Your Word' and I think that starts with your inner monologue. Know your mission, what drives you and repeat that as much as possible AND challenge yourself on stories that don't serve you. Let those crap stories go.

9. Fear is OK; reduce the stakes to get unstuck.?I get this at times, 'Kathy you're a badass.' Typically that is because I speak up and I know who I am. I've earned that over many years of learning to trust my voice. That doesn't mean I don't fear things. I do. Here's the key: when we build up the stakes in our stories, we create tension and spike cortisol. That means we can also go the other direction, too: reduce stakes to lower our fear. When I get stuck, I reduce the stakes. In other words, if I do something and it doesn't work, really, what ARE the stakes? Probably pretty darn low. I tell myself, 'experiments are low-stakes.' Everyone fails and most people won't remember yours because they are thinking about their own. Another reason community matters - have people in your world you trust to tell you when your 'it' is heading in a direction you need to be aware of (I won't say wrong direction - only you decide that. Be intentional). Getting unstuck means getting it out of your head and into friends' heads you trust!;-)

10. Values are your GPS: know who you are and who you are for.?Keeping it Human was founded on a very real belief that being human in business - marketing, storytelling, all of it - is super important. Sometimes that means putting your money where your mouth is. It's easy to spout beliefs. What if you had to defend those beliefs? Because you will at some point. Well, I am not for everyone. And in the last few years, I've talked about women in business, about black lives, about human rights in society and at work. About equality and justice. About representation - becauseI AM A WOMAN IN THE WORLD. I have lived and experienced things that shape me. They are part of who I am and so speaking up comes from that authentic place - with humor icing.

Does everyone like it? No. I have a name for people who don't like me - 'family!' That's right, I sat the little liberals table at holidays. I thought it was fun. My mom called it a 'timeout.' Ha! Look, being human means human decency. It's consistent with my values. I am a woman who came from tech and comedy (still perform and teach) and the world has treated me accordingly. Human isn't when it's convenient; it means standing for things I care about. I am consistent and I don't hide who I am and what I believe. Pick your hills carefully. The things you deeply believe in keep you going. Values, values, values are emotional location, location, location. Pick hills like you do your friends: judiciously.

11. Don't be afraid to change.?When I started out, I worked with marketing teams. I realized though that - as I mentioned earlier - few problems are ever JUST marketing challenges. So with my experience in leadership and teams, I pivoted to also go wider and work with HR, products, engineering leadership, etc. because my background helps people connect, create and shape bigger stories regardless of where they sit in the organization. Don't fear going deeper, wider, further upstream as you grow and learn. Yes, I still work with brand and marketing teams. I just don't ONLY work with them. Pick a starting 'beachhead.' It makes things way easier. Get a niche, then widen it.

12. Life matters more than business.?There is no emotional dividing line for an entrepreneur. Some people say, don't bring your X to work. I understand that can be scary in cultures that are unsafe. When I started my own business, I wanted to be fully myself in every way. To me there is no dividing line. I won't compartmentalize myself again to fit in. Fitting in isn't belonging. And if you are not happy - and building a business is WORK - then your business suffers. Life first, last. always. Everything affects your business. Life first.

13. Ready, fire, Aim is sometimes OK: imperfect is good enough.?Perfectionism is lethal. It does not serve you. Related to this is my biggest belief that you need to kill whatever kills your joy before it kills you. If it isn't working for you, get rid of it.

Skepticism is fine, Cynicism is destructive.?You will be challenged and hurt along the way. It happens. You'll meet crappy people. You'll also meet amazing people. Skepticism in those moments of hardship is normal and can be instructive; yet, don't let skepticism calcify into cynicism. It will rob you of joy. You deserve that. And the world needs more wonder and optimism because that, not cynicism, fuels creativity.

Been in business a long time?Share a Feb biz anniversary? Drop me a line.

********************************************************

I am on a mission to help people unlock their natural humor and inner improviser for their own personal and professional transformation.

An ex-tech marketing / communications exec who led teams for 16 years and an improviser and comedian for over 24 years, today I use improvisation and stand-up comedy techniques to transform leaders into impactful human communicators who show up, speak up, and story tell playfully and powerfully so they can change their worlds (via my Brave Bold Story and Comedy bootcamps). I am a keynote speaker, Founder of Keeping it Human? and Author of "Stop Boring Me!" I still perform and teach stand-up comedy and improv. My sons used to laugh at my jokes. Now I just knock on bedroom doors, throw red meat in, and run!

From Silicon Valley & Stanford to Second City and Stages beyond, I (and you) have a story to tell.