My Biggest Regret of 2024
We spend a lot of time exploring, retrospectively, our paths; our milestones; our decisions and indecisions. There are highlights as much as there are troughs into which light cannot shine. Then there comes a point in this retrospection where we consider ‘the big stuff’ - the major things we did wrong, did badly, or just didn’t do at all.
Our biggest regrets.
When I consisder this it makes me curious. Truly it is a golden opportunity for us as humans that we can look back with hindsight - it being 20-20 and all - and say ‘Well that didn’t go well but I’m going to do better next time’. Yet, a lot of times, we don’t consider the learning opportunity; only the deeply harmful act of regretting. Of berating. Of saying ‘Yuck!’ to ourselves because we are so disgusted by something that we alone brought to the world.
And why do we igore the growth? Because the nasty thought scared us off and we run and hide before it appears before us in all its nightmare-fuelling glory. Are we so afraid of our own actions that we can’t bear to look at them?
When I look back over the last twelve months and consider my own points of learning - my own regrets - I can say wholeheartedly what they are not. You’ll never hear me say:
You won’t hear me say those things because I did try. I did my absolute best - doing my hardest, deepest work - to make sure my family are served first, always. It’s not easy and it certainly isn’t always rewarding. But I stand at the finishing line and can say that I did what was most important.
I’ve made sure that I have shown up - learning along the way - as the truest, most honest, most open version of myself; irrespective of the metaphorical splashback that could occur from voicing ‘a hot take’ or sharing something that ‘isn’t for this kind of social media’.
I showed up without fearing those things because fuck social media and its filters; fuck preconception and conditioned participationism; fuck trying to be anything other than who I am, down to my gnarliest bone.
What’s most important is that - even on my darkest days - I tried. I tried to do what was right. I tried to do my best for myself and those around me. I tried to leave the world 0.1% better than I found it. And if that isn’t something to fly as a banner of honour I don’t know what is.
领英推荐
"But, Tom. You started talking about your biggest regret"
You’re right! I did. Well spotted.
So what do I regret?
Honestly? Very little that matters.
I opted out of a couple of live gigs that I would have loved to go to but in the moment didn’t fill my heart enough to warrant the effort of leaving the house. Some nights I followed my muscle memory of idle games on the iPad instead of reading a book. Other times I ate a fistful of sweets instead of having fruit, making my teeth hurt and my head rush unpleasantly. I might have been a bit of a dick sometimes, too; letting my grumps escape. But I made good on that or at least I believe I did.
None of that stuff matters. None of it. Life goes on.
When you look back and consider where you’ve been and how many fucks ups you’ve made, consider how many of them really make a difference. Because chances are you have done WAY more good than harm.
(In case you wondered what my REAL regret of 2024 is, it’s trying to defrost the freezer in the late afternoon five days before Christmas. That was a very silly idea and I gave up half way through.)
**********
I'm Tom Jepson; ICF-accredited coach and your supporter. I'm here to help frazzled self-employed parent, carers, and creatives build the structures they need to make their ideas happen. I offer a safe, structured space to tackle the deep-rooted challenges, helping my clients get from 'Now' to 'Next'.