My biggest financial mistake...so far

My biggest financial mistake… so far

But Jessy this is LinkedIn. Why are you even talking about this?

I want to save you from financial ruin.

For several years, we've built up a community here and I felt like I needed to share this piece of unsolicited advice, on something I am not experienced about, to my friends who might genuinely benefit from my warning.?

Growing up, my Dad always told me 'Nothing in life comes for free, and if it is then it will cost you so much more later.' No truer words were spoken (I'm being dramatic of course). So I've never taken hand-outs lightly, and meticulously take note of what people do for me and things I owe, so that when I'm able to, I will repay everyone back. Not just because I want to repay, but because I think it's good to give back to those who have helped you, supported you, and believed in you.

A few years ago I met a friend. But it was only last year that we got very close. I made myself vulnerable to them, told them about my struggles, and was very open about my ambitions and setbacks. Very personally I told them how so much of my being was focused on trying to give my parents a life they deserve after years of struggle and working so hard. I love my parents so much, and I don't mean any disrespect when I say, they have very little to show for what they worked tirelessly for. They don't live lavishly, never go on holiday, rarely eat out, don't treat themselves. My Dad is technically retired but technically not. He lives to drive my Mom to and from her 90 hour week job as a Carer Worker. I shared my genuine fears that I wouldn't be able to help them actually retire to experience some of the good life before they got older.

This 'friend' listened, made me feel safe, made me feel heard, made me feel cared for. They shared their story and we bonded over our familial dedication and seemingly constant bad luck. So when they told me about an idea but how all they needed was someone to believe in them, I jumped at the chance to help. They sold me a dream that later became a nightmare, one I still haven't woken up from a year later.

Over the years I've lost thousands of ￡'s in helping 'friends' or doing work, because I believed. Because of all the nights as a kid I prayed for someone to help my parents when times were tough. When Dad would skip meals to make sure we all had enough. When my Mom missed countless special occasions because she needed to work. No-one ever came, so I promised myself that when I grew up I would help as many people as I could. And sadly, in my determination I ended up making bad mistakes that financially stretched not only me but my Godsend of a partner who has been patient, understanding and supportive.?

Despite this, I saw a very real potential in this idea, thought of the things it could do if it financially took off, and dared dream of what it could mean for myself and my friend. My partner was against it, reminding me of the many times I've helped friends out and it ended up blowing up in my face and the amount we’d already lost, but I figured it was my money, I had a stable job at the time, and I figured the wins were so simple and lucrative, we could afford to make this gamble. Plus I thought, this friend knows me, knows my heart, we shared so many similar experiences, they knew what I had to lose and would do what they could to make things work and happen. I ended up investing a large chunk of what I had left.

Then they left. The money was gone. That’s as much as I’m comfortable sharing with you right now. I gambled and invested in a friend and I lost.

Today, I am left with a reminder of how badly I let my parents and most especially my partner down. I don’t know how to describe the experience except that I made a foolish, foolish mistake, one that many professional investors would have most likely warned me not to make. I went in with nothing more than my financial investment and blind belief in someone elses’ dream. Never once questioning whether they would put my dreams at risk in order to accomplish theirs.?

I share this story because it’s only now that I’m coming out of this haze I’ve been in. Feeling in such despair at what stupid mistakes I made and how last year felt like one setback after another. I fell into self-blame and intense self-hatred. I lost my job, my financial stability, we were at the cusp of making big life changes, massive ones that I had dreamed and longed for for years. I thought I had found an easy way to help me supplement these dreams and finally repay all I have owed to those who have helped me along the way. Instead I was left with a burning pile of cash, lost trust, mental health decline and really lost myself.?I had to put those dreams on hold for another time...yet again.

Here is what I really want to share, a reminder to you that as my Dad always said ‘Nothing in life comes for free’ there are no easy ways out of things, it takes time, effort, perseverance and actual knowledge to succeed where you want to. I’m not saying do not believe in people, you should always believe in people until they give you a reason to not. But never put other people’s best interest ahead of yours when it comes to finances. Anyone can sell a dream, in fact most of us are taught how to professionally do it, but you need to do your due diligence to ensure you don’t make mistakes, or ignore giant waving red flags. I want to slightly backtrack from what I just said about not putting others ahead of you. What I meant by that was to not let everyone matter to you more than yourself, because let’s be real, in this life, everyone is looking out for themselves, rightfully so. But the harsh reality is, sometimes that means you will come across some people who will actively break you in order for them to rise. Don’t be like that. There are many successful people in this world who didn’t need to get to where they were by hurting others.

I’m taking the L on this and just moving on because I cannot waste any more tears, energy or thought into this. That’s why I wanted to give you this warning, in hopes it can save someone else from making the same mistakes as me…dare to dream, be risky but do so with more knowledge and actual backing, not just blind faith.?

Always hoping for your financial stability,

Jessy x