MY BIGGEST FAILURES SO FAR

I’m almost 53.? I’ve had many more fun failures than those I’ll share here.? I intend to have many more before I’m done.? The point I wish to make is that when you’re chasing difficult goals failure is normal.? Dare I say useful? ?Even desirable?? Mostly, yes.? Just go with me. Trust me.? Your team will thank you.?

Failure comes in many shapes and sizes, from tiny mistakes to roles not landed to career-altering screw-ups, but at their essence they are all the same.? They remind us of a universal human reality – we are all imperfect!? Not to mention, mistakes are amazing fuel for growth and learning. ?Remember, achievement is about a lot more than intelligence.? You must take many smart risks, and deal with inevitable failures.

Here are just a few of my favorite failures over the years:

I was fired at age sixteen from a frozen yogurt shop.? Apparently, you are not supposed to give away the product to your friends.? Lesson learned.?

After wrapping my MBA at the University of Tennessee there was only one job I wanted, from a big firm you all know.? I scored the interview but didn’t get the job.? That really stung.?

I dropped a few f-bombs in meetings with colleagues when I was a professor.? Not smart.? I deserved the bad looks I received.? Slowly, thankfully, I continued growing.

My first marriage failed.? We’re still good friends, for which I’m grateful.? But back in the day we were both unkind time and again.? Ultimately, it was educational.

I’ve written books enjoyed by thousands… not hundreds of thousands, not millions!? Damn it!

I launched an online coaching service that exactly two people loved.? It was shuddered quickly.? Lesson:? research and marketing matter!? You’d think I’d know that by now.?

If you want to really achieve, you will have many of these moments.? And you need to embrace them and share them with others.? Not often.? Not three times a week, okay?? That’s odd.? But three times a year with your team, or that conference audience, or with the person you’re coaching – definitely.?

When you do this, several cool things happen.? First, you’re admitting your humanity.? Your confidence and moxie are wonderful, but that’s an incomplete you.? You simply can’t be authentic and human without showing some of the imperfections.?

Next, you’re affirming their humanity.? When others see you admit a few mistakes and setbacks, they feel immensely better about being human too!? You are showing them that they can be wonderfully imperfect and successful at the same time.

The net result is that you increase the flow of frank, interesting, and useful conversation directed to you.? Others, in their own way and in their own time, will reciprocate and share some of their mistakes.? That’s when trust and rapport grow, teams start to build chemistry, and the potential for real innovation is born.??

So, stop hiding it.? Stop feeling bad about it.? Just own it.? Cry.? Then laugh.? Then learn.? Then consider the right time and place to share one of your failure stories.? Don’t forget, successful people fail just as much or more than everyone else.? The difference is that they are successful at dealing with failure.? By the way – when was the last time you really failed?? If you can’t remember – you’re playing it too safe! ;)

[For a little more depth, check out my course Learning from Failure. Just click the link for courses below.]

WHAT’S UP WITH DR. D?

I had a blast the other day chatting with the amazing Laura Bergells about how “just be yourself” might not be the best advice.? Balloons of a sort were involved – you’ll have to see it for yourself:? https://tinyurl.com/2tfrm2d5. ?I just booked a gig in Detroit for a bunch of UAW/Ford safety managers and professionals.? Very cool – haven’t been to the Motor City for a few years.? I also delivered a hugely fun Monsters presentation at Lone Star College here in Houston a few days ago.? Last but not least, I can’t say much because it’s still confidential, but… the AI-driven coaching functionality on LinkedIn driven by my work, and the work of many other wonderful instructors, is going well – more later!? Great job LinkedIn.?

Until next time – go learn something, maybe help someone, or at least do something interesting!

My courses:? https://www.dhirubhai.net/learning/instructors/todd-dewett

My books:? https://tinyurl.com/yvwuvmaw

Me on stage:? https://bit.ly/3EfcDSb

Book me:? https://bit.ly/3WHeRB0?

All of my links:? https://linktr.ee/drdewett.