Finally Sharing My Authentic Self

I have attended countless events where at least one breakout session has been focused on “bringing your whole, authentic self to work.” I understand the purpose of the sessions and the point that they are trying to get across, and yet, I still reserve my “whole, authentic self” for my friends and family (and Facebook and Instagram). Lately, however, my mind, body, and soul are too tired to maintain two personas. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally drained by the current state of the world — not only am I dealing with my own personal daily struggles and the stress of a global pandemic, but I also have to cope with watching and reading about terrible injustices being committed against the Black community, against my community.

I wake up and go to sleep each day with a heavy heart, because although there is a lot of news coverage on racial issues recently, I, and many like me, experience microaggressions and racially charged encounters daily.

I grieve for the Black lives that have been unjustly taken despite not knowing them (#SayTheirNames) because these same Black lives, these names of the people that we list, could have just as easily been mine or that of someone I love.

I have done everything that I was told I was supposed to do to be accepted by society, and yet, I still live in fear because my degrees and job are not apparent on my face, and they will not save me if my Blackness alone is deemed as a threat. It seems to me that no matter what we do — kneel, run, sit, bird watch, the list goes on — we are in the wrong. We are not truly free until we are afforded the same liberties as our melanin lacking counterparts.

I have decided to no longer be silent because I decide to no longer be complicit and let the little things slide. So, please know that if you ask me how my weekend was or how I am feeling, you are going to get an authentic response because these conversations need to be had. And if you make a racially charged comment, whether maliciously or not, I will call you out on it.

So, yes, thank you, I know I am articulate. No, you cannot touch my hair. And yes, I do know someone who graduated from there because I did.

Something has to change. And if you agree, then do something about it. Take action.

Please reach out to the people you know and care about within the Black community, because we are not okay. We are dealing with a lot right now, and still trying to put on a brave face and get out of bed every morning despite what is on our hearts and minds.

Here are some articles that more eloquently articulate how I feel about pushing through work each day:

Your Black Colleagues May Look Like They’re Okay — Chances Are They’re Not

Maintaining Professionalism In The Age of Black Death Is….A Lot

Please educate yourself on what is happening, and, if you have the means, donate. Here are some organizations that I would recommend:

Split a donation between 40 community bail funds

Reclaim The Block

Black Lives Matter

Campaign Zero

You can also help by signing petitions, and here are some to start:

Justice for George Floyd

Justice for Breonna Taylor

#BlackLivesMatter #SayTheirNames