My audience with The Queen

I consider myself extraordinary privileged to have met and spoken with our late Queen. It was a day in my life that I will never forget, and yet it was a bittersweet moment.

The meeting would eventually intertwine with other events that would have great implications in my life, determine my career path and future family.?

It would also result in an accusation of perpetrating the most serious of crimes in the United Kingdom; the crime of treason.

In the late 1990s, my college had completed the building of an impressive music and arts theatre. Being the patron of our school, The Queen and Prince Philip came to mark the occasion by performing the opening ceremony. Being a theatre, and with the Queen in attendance, there would be a Royal Performance, at which I had been selected to play.

I was to perform a duet with a pianist, and the song chosen was a well-known toe tapping number called ‘Stray Cat Strut’ by songwriter / performer Brian Setzer of Rockabilly group ‘Stray Cats’.?

My big moment arrived, and I navigated the maple fretboard of my pewter coloured Fender Stratocaster with faultless precision. I never did learn to read music, so my performance was improvised, including the guitar solo.

At the end of the set, we received rapturous applause, and I exited the stage immensely relieved that the most nerve-wracking moment of my life was over. But that was still to come.

When all the invited artists had performed, we were all assembled in a long line on the stage, soon The Queen and Prince Philip began to navigate down the line. Being down the far end, (and perhaps because I had not paying attention at the rehearsal where we were told what to do at this moment) I took a quick glance down the line to check what formality was appropriate to give our monarch. It looked like a smile and a mini bow would be in order, so I made sure to be totally prepared for that.

When the Queen arrived directly in front of me, by complete surprise she sprang forward and spoke to me. Like a deer in the headlights, I froze and was in such a state that I did not register what she said. I saw her lips move, followed shortly by the look someone would give you when they have asked you a question and were expecting an answer. Prince Philip gave me an impatient ‘Get on with it man!’ nod of the head.

Not knowing how to address HRH, and too terrified to ask for a repeat of the question, in that split second, I decided to predict the most likely candidates. These ranged from “Do you like this School?”, or maybe?“Do you want to be a musician when you grow up?”, all the way down to “Do you swear allegiance to God and The Queen?”.?

Handily, all these questions had one conveniently concise and simple answer:

“YES!”

I proclaimed proudly.

The next day at school breakfast, there came an unexpected hush and the usual clatter of cutlery and porcelain subsided to make way for an important & serious sounding announcement.?

"Would JONES report to the headmasters study - IMMEDIATELY!"

It was not good form to stand up during school breakfast, so having to rise from my seat and walk down the long dining hall, past row upon row of table, with everyone looking at me, was quite terrifying. I was wondering what this was all about. The entire school was wondering what this was all about. Whatever it was, it surely must be something extremely bad.

Soon I was standing in front of the headmasters desk, who looked pretty disgusted.

I was then told that my brief interaction with the Queen had caused a scandal and that the headmaster that day had been informed by the Royal Household that one of his pupils, had lied to The Queen and that in doing so, could be guilty of a treasonable offence. My actions had put great shame on the school, but before deciding as to my fate I was to be given a chance to explain myself.

Completely baffled, I exclaimed that I did not know anything, how this could possibly be? The only word I had said to The Queen was ‘Yes’ and that I only said this because I did not hear the question.

It was then that the headmaster revealed the question that The Queen had asked me:

“Did you write that song?”

I do publicly apologise to Mr. Setzer for my unintentional & accidental plagiarism.

But to our late Queen, rather than an apology, I feel that a lifetime of gratitude is more appropriate.?

In my defence, as I told the Headmaster, I did tell HRH the truth in part…

I did at least ‘write’ the solo.