This is my "abortion" story.

This is my "abortion" story.

And when I say "my" ... I'm telling this story from my perspective (with my wife's permission).

We have agreed that she will share her views when she is ready.

I'll also preface this story with an acknowledgement that there are many varying views on what is considered an "abortion".

My intent is not to argue that definition ... rather to share my story with the hope it will create more understanding, compassion and empathy for freedom of choice.

In 2014 we decided to have kids.

We got pregnant pretty quickly and 21.5 weeks later, we had to make a decision that every parent dreads.

There were complications with the pregnancy and there was 0% chance that the baby (Rayan) was going to make it to full term.

In fact, there was less than a 5% chance the baby would even make it to 23 weeks ... an approximate pregnancy length that would give our child a fighting chance to live a life without major physical and mental complications that would severely impact that child forever.

We had to make a CHOICE.

1. Take all the pills, go on bed rest and do all the procedures to keep that baby inside for as long as we could (which the doctors were saying MIGHT be another week if we were lucky)

2. End the pregnancy knowing that even if we were able to hold off for another week ... the likelihood of survival was slim.?And, the likelihood of serious health issues for that baby was certain.

We decided to end the pregnancy.

It was devastating.

I still remember the day.

I still remember the room we were in.

I still remember the color of the paint on the walls.

I still remember signing the paperwork to approve ending the pregnancy.

I still remember the doctor asking "are you ready" and the watching the needle on the ultrasound enter our babies heart as it quickly stopped beating.

We cried.

We were sad.

We were angry.

It wasn't fair.

But, we made a CHOICE.

A CHOICE to not bring a child into this world that would suffer his entire life.

Although I don't live in the USA...I'm conscious enough to know that governments all over the world are making choices FOR people.

And, I personally don't believe this is right.

Full stop.

I can understand if you don't believe in "abortion" because of your religious views.

But, I'm telling you today ... we have to agree to disagree.

If you are reading this and saying to yourself "HELL YES...I AGREE WITH YOU TREVOR!"

Please consider where else in your belief system you may be choosing to side with taking away a person's right to choose what's right for them.

Your "religious" or "political" views don't need to be MY views.

I can still understand and respect your views ... as I ask you to respect mine.

And, if you feel the urge to tell me why my wife and I made the wrong decision to end our first pregnancy...let me share this first.

We experienced this AGAIN on the 2nd pregnancy (just further along at 22 weeks)....and we decided to proceed with the pills and the bed rest and the procedures.?And, I still remember the day my daughter (Indya) was born at 23 weeks & 1 day as she was handed to me ... lifeless ... she didn't survive.?It makes me cry every time I even think about it.

And we experienced this AGAIN on our 4th pregnancy ... this time making it to 23 weeks 6 days.?That?beautiful, healthy boy survived...his name is Bodhi.??

We made decisions based on the best information we had at the time.

Do I wish that I would have made different decisions with our first 2 kids.

No, not for a minute.

I CHOOSE to surrender to what is...as it is perfect and as it's supposed to be.

I was inspired to write this post because of a story I saw Tyler B. share about a similar decision him and his wife had to make.??

Read it here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/tyler-b-b8403b55_dear-doug-ducey-this-isnt-something-ive-activity-6946557066660507649-kZ62

And, in Tyler's words...

This is between my wife, our Dr, and I.

Please stay out of our life.

Thank You.

P.S. The pendant in this photo was given to us by the social worker in the hospital.?We kept 1 part of the heart and the other part was cremated with our son.