My 7 Great Lessons from Life (So Far)

I’m in a reflective mood. So, this article is a departure from my normal topics - the customer experience, and succeeding in a digital world.

It’s about 7 lessons that I have learned in life. The lessons are like a jigsaw puzzle. When combined, they have contributed to me being (I think!) a wiser and better person than I was just a few years ago!

So, I am sharing these lessons with you!

Okay, self-disclosure starts now!

Lesson #1: Listen to (really) understand

This is my top lesson.

In the past, my “badge of honour” was that “George is a smart guy”.

If you had an opinion, I would shoot back with my opinion. I was a smart guy, after all!

My life was based on “your opinion vs my opinion”, where someone is “right” and someone is “less right” or even wrong! Of course if they didn’t agree with me, there was a good chance that they would be wrong!

Then something happened that changed my paradigm. I had a meeting with one of my senior people. He gave his opinion and, sure enough, I shot back with my opinion. He then said 8 words that changed my life.

He said, “All I want is to feel listened to”.

This started me on a journey. I ended up taking off my “George is a smart guy” badge of honour, and replaced it with “George seeks to really understand”.

The impact on my life has been significant.

It has led to richer conversations. People feel honoured and respected when I ask questions – sometimes questions that they have not thought of themselves.

It leads to deeper understanding and stronger relationships.

And, it leads to the realization that, in life, there are few absolutes. I no longer live in a world of “right vs wrong” opinion. Rather, I do my very best to live in a world of honouring other people’s opinions, learning from them, coming up with richer solutions with them, and being enriched by them.

Really listening means “giving them space to speak, without you interrupting or judging what they say. It means that you ask them to tell you more of what they are thinking – even if you don’t quite agree.

Try it, and you will be amazed at what you will learn!

Lesson #2: Live a life of Gratitude

I have come to appreciate the power of gratitude. It started many years ago when I read a quote that said something like, “Better to be grateful for the things that you have, rather than longing for the things that you don’t have”. This was a life-impacting moment!

I wake up every morning with a sense of gratitude. I am grateful for the big and little things in my life. I am grateful for the relationship that I have with my wife. My daughter is happy. I can bathe with running water. I am grateful for that hot cup of coffee. Gratitude puts a smile on my face. It gets me off to a good start to the day.

There is a saying, “what you focus on grows”. You will find more to be grateful for in life if you look for things to be grateful for!

There is so much to be grateful for. What are the big and little things in life that you are grateful for in your life?

Lesson #3: The power of the spoken word

For this, I thank my Mother, Rose. She taught me the power of the spoken word. Rose taught me that positive words and negative words can leave deep and long-lasting impacts on people.

Be generous with authentic praise.

I thank people during the day, either personally or by email. It’s amazing what a difference a few words of thanks can make to other people’s lives.

Expressing gratitude helps your brain release happy chemicals – endorphins – into your system. So, when you make others feel happy, you will be self-medicating on a natural happiness drug as well!

And, think twice and three times about how you are going to deliver comments which are designed to give people feedback to help them improve.

I am constantly mystified how people, as family members and in business, aim to help those around them get better - by telling them how bad they are!

Lesson #4: Value the power of the question

The “smart George”, in days gone by, placed a great importance on having the answers. If you asked George a question, George always had an answer.

My thinking has changed. I now place a high value on questions. I ask people lots of questions. The more I learn, the more curious I become – and my questions get deeper. I firmly believe that the best thinkers are the people that ask the best questions.

I was watching a Netflix program called, ‘Inside the Brain of Bill Gates”. It’s definitely worth viewing. Bill Gates is a brilliant guy. And, when you watch this program, you will see that he talks in questions.

I am going to start doing podcasts. So, I am doing a lot of research. The more I read, the more questions I have in my mind e.g., “Should I use a podcasting platform?” “If yes, which one?” “How do I select a podcasting platform? What are the attributes of an engaging podcast?” And the list goes on.

The impact is that my questions help me go deep into the subject, leading to better results.

Good questions lead to richer, more robust answers.

Lesson #5: Live your life in Stretch

I arrived in Malaysia, almost 15 years ago. An Australian consultant, with no leadership experience, coming into a very different culture - the Malaysian culture.

I vividly remember frequently going home stressed in the first few years of being here. I thought to myself, “I am feeling like a fish out of water. This is so stressful!”

And, then, one day, I came to a realization: the stressful times were stretching me as a person. They were helping me to learn, to get stronger, and to be a better leader.

I re-framed the problem into something positive!

I then saw each stretching episode, where I was beyond my comfort zone, as a part of my growth journey. This has included making presentations to large groups of people or making presentations to Boards of major companies.

True adventure in your life happens when you go beyond your comfort zone. So now, if people to ask me to do things, or to be put in situations that are new to me, my default reaction is to say, “Yes,” even though I don’t quite know how to go about this stretching event.  My standard phrase, as the people on my team will tell you, is, “We will work it out!”

I now make stretch my friend. This friend will help make me stronger, more experienced, and…perhaps a little wiser as well.

Lesson 6: Don’t sweat the small stuff (and have a short memory)

Whenever something not that favourable happens to people around me, or in my life, my response is, “People are dying in the streets of Baghdad.” This helps to keep life in perspective. It stops me from sweating the small stuff.

Some time ago, someone “keyed” the paintwork on my car. On seeing this, my response was, “Hey, it’s only a paintwork on a car! People are dying in the streets of Baghdad! Get over it!”

A rude driver took the car parking spot you were waiting for. “Hey, it’s just a parking spot! Get life into perspective! Get over it!”

Move on fast. Have a short memory for any negative stuff. Bounce back fast! You will be the loser if you hold onto the negative stuff that happens in your life.

Lesson 7: Live it like it’s your last day

This one is about living our family lives without regret.

In my relationship with my wife, I treat every day as if it’s my last. Just imagine if your husband or wife, or children, were about to get on a plane tomorrow, and you would never see them again. How would you treat them today?

You will find that you will pay more attention to them, speak to them with greater care, and even greet them when they come back home, in a very different and mindful way.

So, there we are. Seven lessons that I have learned in life!

And, now, it’s your turn. Share with us the lessons that you have learned in life to help you become a wiser person!

I look forward to learning from you!

Until then.