To My 21 Year Old Son: 21 Tools, Tactics, and Tips to Live a Bold Amplified Life

How many parents can say I work with (and for) my child? The journey began for me when my son Brandon was 18 years old. He had become the youngest professional member of the National Speakers Association and hired me as his manager. Our excursions throughout the country not only put him on numerous stages, but provided a platform for us both to learn many life lessons along the way, some that came easy and others that were a result of going through painful experiences. It has been quite a unique adventure, not only because of Brandon's age, but also due to challenges of navigating a world not built for somebody like him. Rather than letting limitations (perceived or otherwise) hold us back, we have worked together to adapt, design, negotiate and innovate our own solutions. In honor of Brandon's 21st birthday, I offer to him and to you the following tools, tactics and tips I have both learned from him and taught him, as I experience life as his manager and his mom.

1)   Celebrate and amplify your uniqueness. Own who you are and show up as the ‘YOUest’ you. You are your brand and your smile is your greatest trademark and tool.

2)   There is no ‘no’ when you incorporate resilience, resourcefulness and creativity. Transform each ‘no’ into a powerful four letter word: NEXT.

3)   In order for the world to change, YOU must do the heavy lifting and first change.

4)   On your entrepreneurial path, strive to be solutions-driven in your quest to identify gaps and provide value. Give more than you get, serve rather than solely work, and watch incredible opportunities to do more and be more unfold.

5)   Connectedness is powerful fuel to feeling accomplished. When you open your heart and mind, you experience meaningful connection in some unexpected places… there have been magical moments for us at airports and on airplanes when we connected heart-to-heart with others. Being interested is better than merely being interesting.

 6)   Instead of waiting for community, friendship, or a seat at the table, provide it for others and create it for yourself.

7)   Life’s greatest pleasure comes from creating space for others to be seen, heard and celebrated. Share your life’s wisdom… your stories and words design a landscape for others to dream. Also take care to protect your space – not all have a right to it.

8)   Soul care is the best form of self-care. That includes curating your content, especially online. Always find time to return to yourself, especially when you travel and speak on stages. Our shared passion for nature and sunsets provide grounding on travels near and far.

9)   While more is not always better, live an amplified life - live big, love big, dream big, forgive big.

10) Live and work with intention and aligned values. You don’t need a diagnosis to see how fragile life is.

11) No one gets to tell you how much space you get to take up – and your physical stature has no bearing on that. You can be 3’9” tall and feel ten feet tall.

12) Unearth your internal gifts, remove what no longer serves you and pave your lane, allowing for zigs and zags along the way. To be a creator of impact, you must first excavate and lean into the deepest parts of your soul.

13) The ability to elevate empathy begins with your own self-acceptance. The way to greater humanity is to first be kind to yourself, especially during trying times. Authenticity allows us to connect to ourselves and thereby effectively connect with others. It is the foundation to professional networking and collaboration at its finest. As you use your voice to help others, remember to also use it to seek help for yourself.

14) Growth is not defined or confined by your physical stature. It is an inside job that is infinite in scope and ever changing. Who you were is not a direct correlation of who you are capable of becoming.

15) Experience life from the front-row rather than be a bystander in the back. Play full out. Your energy is contagious - harness it to create a glorious tsunami of authentic humanity in the world.

16) Rather than seeing disruption and uncertainty through a lens of fear, view them as an invitation to explore the unexpected.

17) A true sense of confidence shows up when you embrace WHO you are outside of WHAT you do. The greatest contribution you can make is to live to your fullest potential at the greatest version of yourself.

18) There is no need to craft your life based on societal norms and your life does not need to be run by what is going on in the external world. It is not enough to think outside of the box. Get rid of the box and innovate your own solution. It is off the beaten path where we discover some of our greatest joy.

19) There is no degree that puts an end to education. Learning is a lifelong pursuit and we are forever students. Be on a quest to learn, relearn, and unlearn as needed.

20) Navigating through life’s muck and suffering from pain can provide the catalyst for purpose greater than you ever imagined. Embrace your wounds and pay attention to the lessons they bring. Once you start seeing yourself clearly, you see others through a wider clearer lens. “Help me understand” are 3 poignant words to see through the lens of others.

21) One of the most valuable gifts a parent can bestow on a child is to see them for who they are and not the vision of who we want them to be. Brandon, during the past few years I have learned I am not here to dictate or define your experience in life, but rather be a consultant and facilitator. I am buckled in for the ride and will let you steer the way. While as a parent I am the teacher, I have also been your greatest student.