My 2018 Wind Down

2018 was a tough year for so many, myself included.

?It was a year of personal and professional growth, that’s for sure, coupled with a serious dose of resilience, deep reflection, change and acceptance.

All in all, as tough as it was, it wasn’t that bad. The good far outweighed the bad. I got really uncomfortable, out of my depth at times, but I went with the flow and achieved more than I deemed possible.

I landed the most amazing job with a wonderful bunch of humans and the most incredible culture I have ever been a part of. I helped a bunch of people that I love dearly find incredible and meaningful jobs that make them blissfully fulfilled and happy.

I also took some big chances and risks because inside I knew I had to and it felt right to me. But I also screwed up a lot too. 

Without going into too much, here are a few key learnings:

Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s easy to set goals and expectations, but things change, people change, businesses change. How you adapt to that is what matters, but not at the sacrifice of your health, well being or happiness. When I openly spoke out about certain “topics” from this year, so many were shocked. I thought I had failed at many things, but when an old colleague and confidant said “Are you kidding me? You took things by the balls and you powered on! Girl, you won when most would have crumbled. You are stronger than you think”. I guess I learned I don’t give myself much credit sometimes and I hold myself to a very high (and often unrealistic) account. I learned to be kinder to myself.

Ask for help. I’ve always felt asking for help was a weakness, yet encouraged so many others to ask for it and openly offered (at the sacrifice of my own needs). You know when you can’t take your own advice – kind of like that. I learned it was okay to ask for help, to put things on hold, to re-assess and to sometimes bench things completely. You’d be surprised at how many people will respond with “I was hoping you would ask; I just didn’t want to step on your toes”. But don’t be a jerk and ask for help when you don’t really need it and you’re just being lazy. I learned to pause, assess and respectfully ask for help.

Be vulnerable, authentic and honest. This year I learned about boundaries. BIG GIANT MOUNTAIN SIZE BOUNDARIES! I also learned that I shouldn’t feel guilty about these boundaries, as they’re part of who I am and how I need to live my life to feel safe and happy. I learned that sometimes it’s okay to show that vulnerable side (not with everyone, I’m still working on this), but I was surprised at those who said “me too”, or just listened and gave me a giant hug and endless, non-judgemental support. To give yourself permission to be honest with how you feel, what you need and why, is okay. If anyone takes advantage of this, uses it against you, or gossips about it – they are not a good human and it says more about them than you. Plus, people can figure out these types pretty quickly… and will be likely to respect them a whole lot less. Stay in your lane, keep it real.

People won’t like you and that’s fine. Yep, some will think you’re not smart enough, not serious enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not fit enough, not interesting enough, not passive enough. And that’s fine. Because opinions are like assholes, everyone has one… and if that person doesn’t mean a huge amount to you, then their opinion shouldn’t either. Chances are, they don’t even know you… so whatever. But, always treat people with kindness as you never know what they might be going through; chances are they’re having a really crappy day or dealing with their own issues.

People will like you and that’s awesome. I met some seriously amazing, inspiring, beautiful hearted, super intelligent people this year. We laughed hard, drank wine, drank coffee, danced, sang Disney classics karaoke in a little bar in Chinatown Sydney, had lunches, brunches, deep and meaningful and many brutally honest conversations. I consider these people friends and I value them. My network and my heart grew and I let down a big wall of fear (not all the way down, but you know, I’m still learning). Don’t stop getting to know people and letting them in. They are GOLD. Expand your network with kind people, learn their stories and give back.

Going back to school is hard but awesome. During one of the busiest times of my year, I decided to bite off more than I could chew with my Gin business and also go back to school and study “Design Thinking for Innovation” in order to design the onboarding process for my employer using Human Centred Design. And boy was I triggered, stressed, scared, and freaking out (yet keeping it totally together on the outside). All the memories of schoolyard bullying came flooding back… but, the online course was so good, so supportive, so inclusive, and so interesting. When I rolled out our amazing onboarding experience recently and received continuous feedback like “this has been the best experience I have ever had in my life” from new employee’s, I feel so proud and I am grateful for giving “school” a go again. I plan on learning way more next year in a commercial sense and also getting back into art with some painting and drawing lessons. Never stop learning. 

Express love and gratitude every single day. You can roll your eyes all you like, I see you. But I promise if you mindfully choose to do this every single day for a week, just see how you feel at the end of that week, month, year. If you love someone, like someone, are grateful for them, or simply want to tell them you appreciate it, do it. DO IT! We are so lucky in so many ways to lead the lives we do, to be able to make choices, to share experiences with others. Recently, I watched an incident unfold before my eyes out the front of the building I work in and watched a man die. It was like watching a horror movie and something no one should ever have to witness. Hold those you love close and tell them every day. And let go of everything that does not serve you or make you happy. Life is short. Life is beautiful. Make sure you contribute to others, to community and think about the legacy you want to leave.

So there you have it… my brain dump of 2018 without too much detail. 

To put an out of office on today and finish on a high surrounded by some of the best people in my life is seriously surreal! I am so grateful, my heart is full.

I hope you all have a wonderful, happy, restful yet adventurous holiday season. Get out in nature, take your socks off, dig your toes into the grass or sand and just sit with yourself and have a moment of reflection – practice simple self love. Be grateful for all the good. Learn from the bad and strut on into 2019 like the champion that you are. 

*DISCLAIMER: All content in this post is strictly my own personal opinion unless stated otherwise. It does not reflect the opinion of my past, present, and future employer(s). All posts expressed are based on my own personal knowledge, experience, thoughts and opinions.