My 2 Biggest Fears

Ask anyone who knows me beyond the level of acquaintance what my 2 biggest fears are, and I bet they'll immediately be able to tell you.

(I'm pretty vocal about it to anyone who will listen).

1. Fear of flying
2. Fear of hypodermic needles

(Someone who knows me just a bit better would be able to tell you that overseas flights (flying over the ocean with no net - YIKES!) and blood draws (a sharp needle inserted into my vein, filling a syringe with my own blood as I helplessly watch - I just died inside while writing that sentence) are exponentially more panic-inducing to me than domestic flights and injections...

Photo by Gratisography from Pexels

Truth be told, these 2 fears are probably borderline phobias, not just plain old fear. Fear I can handle. Flying and hypodermic needles I cannot.

So what happens if I absolutely must get on an airplane or get my blood drawn?

Good question. I'll let you know if and when that ever happens.

(Just kidding.)

There are some times that I simply cannot avoid facing my biggest fears, and when that happens, unless I can get my hands on some anti-anxiety meds beforehand, I'm virtually unreachable during the ordeal, as well as for the 12-24 hours leading up to the ordeal.

I don't cry or scream or grab onto anything bolted down to avoid being going through with it - that's just plain pathetic:)

Instead, I have an inner whimper (whose frequency is only detectable by my life partner), accompanied by extreme Dermatillomania (a term I just learned while writing this article, which means "obsessively picking the dead skin off your fingers out of anxiety")....

(Nice, right?)

Photo by edwin josé vega ramos from Pexels

My wife, God bless her, who just wants her husband and father of 4 kids to man up and take over for a while so she can relax and enjoy the flight, is of no help to me during this time.

Zero help.

Actually zero is probably too high a number.

First she'll offer some exasperated, impatient instructions from her side of the armrest.

"Calm down." (Thanks.)

"It's all in your head." (Yeah, but that's where I live.)

"What's the big deal?" (Oh, I guess you're right.)

Then she'll progress to rationalizing things for me.

"An airplane has 2 engines, even if one fails, the pilot can still fly with one engine."

(I'm afraid they're both going to fail.)

"Turbulence is normal, it's relaxing, it's like waves on the ocean."

(What about that Boeing 707 that was ripped apart by turbulence near Mt. Fuji in Japan back in 1966? Huh? I didn't hear your answer. I thought so.)

In other words, I'm totally overtaken and preoccupied with my fears.

She is the love of my life, and she's got many great qualities, but while I'm afraid, I cannot pay attention to a single word she says.

To her consistent dismay, I'm completely unreachable and inaccessible.

"Sorry, hon. Can we talk later, when we're safe and and sound, and back on the ground?"

Image by tung256 from Pixabay 

The reason I bring this story up, is because allaying fears is one of the 5 pillars of influence in the E.F.F.C.T. formula.

If you can (E)ncourage someone's dreams, justify their (F)ailures, allay their (F)ears, (C)onfirm their suspicions, and help (T)hrow rocks at their enemies, you can influence them to do almost anything.

To paraphrase Blair Warren:

When we're scared, it's extremely hard to focus on anything else. Everyone knows this, but what do we do when someone else is scared and we need to get their attention? We say things like, "Don't be afraid," as if that's supposed to do the trick.

Does it work? Never. But somehow we don’t seem to care. We just proceed as if we’ve dealt with the problem and the person in front of us just disappears.

But there are a select group of people who do understand this and give special attention to our fears. They don't say, "Calm down", or "What's the big deal?"

They reckon with us until our fear levels go down. They provide evidence. They give support. They share personal stories with us.

They do not order us to feel a certain way and expect us to feel that way.

So, when you're gripped in a state of fear, which type of person do you prefer to be around?

Fear is such an uncomfortable feeling, we'll do almost anything to avoid it - like driving 10 hours by car, instead of taking an 1:15 minute commuter flight...

And we'll do anything that will help us relieve it - like collectively spending 3.8 billion dollars worldwide in 2020 on benzodiazepines - such as Xanax, Librium, Valium and Ativan, drugs commonly used to treat anxiety, phobias, and panic attacks.

So Step #3 of the E.F.F.C.T. formula of copywriting is...allay your prospect's fears.

It's not only super-effective in its ability to create influence, the power to have an important effect on someone, it's one of the nicest and most memorable things you can do for somebody today.

Click here for Step #4

Questions or comments?

Leave them below and I'll respond.