My 1000th Connection, but more importantly, the story behind it.

I want you to meet my 1,000th LinkedIn Connection, Thomas Lopez . Tom is a big part of the reason I have 1,000 connections, so it's funny that it took so long for us to "connect". Our connection has been much more than a social media connection and spans nearly 25 years. It starts out like a terrible joke. What do you get when you cross a former cop with a former dairy worker at an academic conference? Insert your punchline here, but I will try feebly to explain what Tom means to me.

• Colleague? Well, yes, but it goes so much farther than that.
• Friend? Of course, but it is a much deeper relationship than that.
• Mentor? Absolutely, but in so many ways other than professional, that discounts it.
• Family? Sure, but even that seems a bit too generic.

If I had to sum it up in one word, the irony will hit only if you read the rest of this story...

SPECIAL

I met Tom at the The PhD Project annual conference in November of 1999. Tom was on stage speaking about his journey and many of his points resonated with me. He was a former police officer who went back to school to get an accounting degree, then left public accounting to pursue a PhD. He shared his story but then ended with a few words that me and countless other prospective doctoral students (many now professors) heard that gave us hope when Tom said, "I'm not SPECIAL, if I can do this, you can do this." Wow. Someone with a similar background- non-traditional, Hispanic, prior job in a wildly different area, ect.- said I could do this. How many of those who are now my Ph.D. holding colleagues have heard Tom say this?

? Later, as I went to the 美国亚利桑那州立大学 booth, Vickie Baldwin was in the booth and we talked about the school, the application, the city, etc. Then she said I should go to another booth because Tom Lopez was there and he graduated from ASU a few years prior. I didn't know what the hell I was doing at this conference, was overwhelmed, and was certainly feeling too shy to speak to anyone unless I had a specific question, but here was the motivation I needed to go talk to Tom. I approached his booth and told him how Vickie sent me over, and thus started this SPECIAL relationship. He spent his time talking to me rather than recruiting for his current university. We chatted over a couple of meals through the conference, exchanged cards, and then I let him know a few months later I had been accepted at ASU.

? Then he did something that has changed my life forever. He invited me to come and speak on the Doctoral Student Panel at the next conference. He wanted me to share my experience as a first year student. Of course I said yes. That conference in November 1999 was amazing as a prospective doctoral student, now I would get to experience it again in 2000 as a current doctoral student! Here's a big part of the irony. I got up there on that stage and talked about why I made this move, how I did it, and shared a little bit about what it was like as a first year doctoral student, but I withheld a huge part of the latter. Truth be told, I was on the razor's edge of washing out of the program already. I felt like a fish out of water, had already dropped a class, was struggling in all of the others, and had no idea why I had moved Greta (at the time, my fiancée) and me away from our families and where we were were both born and raised in Colorado. I was faking it, but fake it until you make it, right? But then Tom and I talked and I listened to his "I'm not SPECIAL" speech again. I listened to all of the stories I heard the prior year, but with a different ear. Now it wasn't about how to get in, it was reminding myself why I started in the first place. Oh yeah, and at home Greta also kicked me in the ass and said we didn't move away from Colorado for me just to quit.

That first invitation to speak turned into repeated invitations to serve on the Doctoral Student Panel. Second year, third year, fourth year, fifth year, and yes, the dreaded sixth year. Each time I listened to many of the same stories, some new stories, some stories told from different perspectives. I watched some of my Doctoral Student Panel friends come back to moderate as newly minted professors. I watched a ton of people get capped with that mult-colored tassel by Bernard J. Milano and Quiester Craig with loving assistance from Tara Perino . I promised in that sixth year it would be the last time I stood on that stage as a doctoral student. The next year, Darryl Brown, Ph. D. and I walked down that aisle together to receive our caps with the multi-colored tassel. Newly dubbed the Doublemint Professors, Darryl and I attended the 1999 conference together, started programs at the same time in the same state (he at U of A), stayed a sixth year and promised it would be the last, and without planning, defended our dissertations on the same day (April 14, 2006).

I had watched the magic firsthand, and then became a part of The PhD Project Family. I was asked to serve on the Planning Committee, first organizing the Doctoral Student Panel, then the Accounting Breakout Panel (replacing Tom as he stepped away), sprinkled in a few years organizing the Balancing Life and a Doctoral Program Panel. I was on the Planning Committee as a doctoral student for the Accounting Doctoral Student Association (ADSA, one of five DSAs in each discipline). I have been back to the annual conference and to the ADSA conference nearly every years, speaking in various roles, many times sharing what it means to be a part of this Family. I was honored and thrilled to serve as Faculty Advisor for the ADSA, a role that took me into an unexpected third year as I covered for a colleague that was unable to continue. At the end of that third year, it was announced that I would be inducted into the PhD Project Hall of Fame later that November. This experience has been nothing short of SPECIAL.

Now, about the 1,000 connections. This is the power of The PhD Project Mission: Building a stronger, more diverse workforce. Together. How does the second child of a single, Hispanic woman who went to a high school where there was more occupational prep than college prep and had a 1/5 overall and 1/3 dropout rate for minority students get here? It starts by being invited to the conference and shown the way. It's fueled massively by the power of one person believing in me. It comes from the invitation to speak during my first year helping me get over the initial shock of a PhD Program. It continues to be fueled by the many, many PhD Project Family members I have been blessed to know over the years. The career starts with the dissertation defense and getting that cap with the multi-colored tassel. That cap still rests right behind me every day in my office. Then it really picks up steam as I begin life as professor. Thinking about who is in that 1,000 is mind boggling because it is merely a slice of the pie. In my career so far, I have interacted with:

• Hundreds, maybe thousands, of students as their instructor or as a faculty advisor for Beta Alpha Psi .
• Hundreds of colleagues, most in accounting, many in other business disciplines, and quite a few outside the b-school.
• Hundreds of recruiters and professionals at public, private, non-profit, governmental, and association organizations.
• Hundreds of friends, family, loved ones to all of the above at graduations, conferences, career fairs, scholarship/academic banquets, and other events.
• Repeating, because it all starts and ends with them, Students (undergrads, Master's, and Ph.D.), many who have gone on to become Associates, Seniors, Staff, Managers, Controllers, CFOs, VPs, Presidents, CEOs, Partners, and some who have gone the academic route to become Instructors, Assistant Professors, Associate Professors, Full Professors, Chaired Professors, Associate Deans, Deans, Provosts, and Presidents.

This is the power of The PhD Project and the power of planting and nurturing a seed. But the nurturing is the important part that really makes that seed grow. Notice the second part of the mission above, a one word sentence, capitalized and then a period. Together. Without the PhD Project, without Tom, without Greta, without so many people I could name who made a difference in my life, that seed has little chance to grow. To those who aren't named, you are incredibly important too, but I did not set out to write a book today. What I set out to do today was show the power of one person's belief in another, an invitation, a spark of a friendship, and what could come of it, all with the catalyst of an organization that believes in a higher purpose bringing a former cop and a former dairy worker to the same place at the same time.

So I have joked over and over in speeches how much I agree with those words Tom spoke nearly 25 years ago. Emphatically, I will say, "Tom's not SPECIAL!" and it gets some laughs. And yes, I have said it with Tom in the room and when he couldn't be there. We have teased each other mercilessly over the years about all sorts of things, but especially about how Tom's much-better-half Pam and my much-better-half Greta have earned fast-passes straight to heaven for dealing with us. We argue over which one of us is luckier. Pam and Tom have three beautiful children and now grandchildren as well. Greta and I have two beautiful daughters. Tom and I are blessed. But as this story started, I have the better end of this deal because I was blessed by a happenstance arranged by the The PhD Project that put me in the same place at the same time as Tom. Despite his insistence he is not, if I am pressed to sum up in one word what Tom means to me, it comes down to one simple, powerful, and probably overused word. But in this case, there is no hyperbole, it is incredibly appropriate. To me, he is...

SPECIAL