My 10 life lessons from overcoming setbacks:

I’ll be 50 in 366 days. As I woke early this morning (appropriately at 4:49am) I started reflecting on the past nearly 49 years. It’s a nothing number really until you realize how lucky you are to be alive, see the abundance and gratitude in what you have, and the lessons you have learnt along the way.?So, I jotted some down.

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One of the things that stood out to me was all the challenges I’ve faced and overcome and how they have shaped who I am every bit as much as my peak experiences. In fact in most cases, they have spurred or informed a journey towards a peak experience.

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I won’t dwell any of the challenges, but for context they include being bullied (age 10), not being selected after my best trial game ever (16- first heart break), experiencing my first proper injury 2 weeks prior to heading to an incredible rugby playing university (19), first romantic heart-break (22), with two more to come (36 & 42), being last player dropped from USA National Team Rugby World Cup squad (28), glass ceiling at work (29), close to broke (41), NICU (44), Chapter 11 (46), Friends passing (47 onwards).

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Most importantly, here are my learnings, which I strive to apply and share every day:

1.?????Talk, Tell, Tackle: Rule #1 from my son’s Jujitsu – is you’re facing material adversity escalate to get the attention that’s required to resolve the issue and take control over your destiny. The sooner the better.

2.?????Learn, Commit, Work: Stars may not always align but what can I do to continue to improve? Apply an unreasonable work ethic to build upon super powers and minimize Kryptonites.

3.?????Protect the Core: Put people closest to you at the core, other spheres of life can be segments around them. That includes yourself- there’s no one closer to you, than you!

4.?????My Dependence: Be aware of the spectrum between independence, interdependence and codependence and the implications of each. What do each bring out in you and how does that align to the impact you want to have?

5.?????Intrinsic Alignment: Happiness, comfort and safety are not always aligned but when they are, you can built more of both and it’s usually always from inside-out.

6.?????Mind the Gap: In choosing to guide, nurture, empower and inspire others to their best authentic selves, the strength of your energy & belief must ultimately be at least matched by their commitment.

7.?????Perspective & Perseverance: Zoom out to find the possibilities, then hone in that laser focus to find a way to achieve them.

8.?????One Page Purpose: Build a plan on top of your purpose, as a compass to navigate life, because shit happens! Commit the time and space to reflect, increase your self awareness & create a plan. Then, action-to-impact with direction builds momentum, encourages agility and beats perfection.

9.?????Multi-dimensional Me: triple click, engage all senses, consider all facets of wellbeing, all spheres and seasons of life.

10.???Honor the Essence: Sometimes we can no longer see the person or do the thing, so we instead honor the essence of what they represented in our life.

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With my One Page Purpose intact, these lessons drive me forward, guide me and pick me back up when I fail, to come back stronger. Hopefully another quality 49 years to go and many more lessons to learn and apply along the way.

What life lessons have you learnt from overcoming set backs and which of the above resonate most with you?