MUTE YOUR MOBILE

How to pay attention?

The omnipresent, needy and irresistible mobile phone is the root cause to the vilest social disease of modern time: Distraction. You know when your mobile rings what to do. You know what to do when there is a chance for one minute waiting time. And what do you when on a train or in a café? How about when you are bored or with other people?

We do not know the truth of life anymore. We say that we are busy. We say that family and work takes too much time from us. Yet, we have statistically and historically more time off from work and family than ever before. We are freer than our parents, grandparents, and ancestors ever were. And we use this freedom to do what? Obey the plastic gadget? Your mobile and tablet seduce you, entertain you, enslave you. And it is instant and so good.

This article is one of the 42 Laws of First Impressions. Click here for the First Impressions book.

You must understand that your mobile has magic powers. It has put you under its spell. This most seductive, harmless looking, instant satisfaction apparatus sucks your soul to ignore the world and to forget everything you should be doing. The shared sinister geniality of apps has made you a slave, a junkie, a zombie. You disrespect the social codes shamelessly. And everybody else does it, too. The beauty of zeros and ones churned into pictures and words. We are tested. Do you pay attention to people? Do you make love as often as you used to? Are you laughing alone, isolated while watching comedy, designed to take our mind off from the real world? Are you still doing what you should be doing in this life, or are you just being distracted? Are you being present?

“There is no connection between you and the real world when you are connected to your mobile. Your mobile kills the real world.” Max Noble

Most people carry their mobile phones with them all of the time. They take it with them to work, on holidays, while doing hobbies, and when they pick up their children. They have it on when talking to others. They check it when on the toilet. It is present everywhere, to the degree that we have lost contact with others. The first thing we do when we wake up is check the phone. The last thing we do before falling asleep is check the phone. We sleep with the phone. The average person spends more time focused on the mobile than with any real person.

Truth of First Impression. Understand this. There is no connection between you and the real world when you are connected to your mobile. However, you are being observed when there are people around you, like it or not. You are creating First Impressions all the time. It is the subconscious that scans the environment all of the time, making small notes. It categorizes people in prearranged types. We all know how people who are staring at their mobile are categorized as distracted, harmless, and yet irritating. This is even more true when a person chooses deliberately to pay attention to the mobile over you. It may cause small irritation, but often it leads you feeling not appreciated, not worthy of a focused connection. We do that all of the time. So, to create a connection, you need to pay attention to the person. To make a real connection and First Impression, you need to switch off your mobile.

Question: When do I need to mute my mobile?

Max Noble: Treat your mobile like you treat a fire. Your mobile is a good servant, but a bad master. You need it to survive in a modern world, like your ancestors needed fire to survive in the past. And your ancestors understood when to put out the fire.

“Mute your mobile when with other people.” Max Noble

This is especially true when meeting new people and creating First Impressions. You want to pay full attention to the surroundings and people so you become connected to the real world and real people. A person carrying a phone in his or her hand is not paying full attention to others. Recent studies confirm that we cannot think about more than one thing at a time. Our brains do not multitask. Yes, we can do many things, sometimes up to five or six things at the same time, but we cannot think about more than one thing at a time. So, if you are using your mobile while with other people, you are not really thinking of the person in front of you, and you come across most likely as a distracted, unavailable, and disrespectful person - the opposite of likable, trustworthy, warm, or competent. The simplest rule is to mute your phone when with other people.

Final Note. Insist on bringing the attention, the focus, the flow, the passion, and the love back to your life. Start with yourself. The world is in dire demand of real, authentic, and deep connection, without the mobile.

My name is Max Noble and I teach people how to master their First Impressions. I give inspirational speeches, transformational workshops and private coaching. I am the author of the First Impressions book, which this article is part of.

Book your free 15min private First Impressions Coaching session here.

Keywords: #emotionalintelligence, #firstimpressions, #marketing, #bodylanguage, #sales, #selfdevelopment, #cognition, #publicrelations, #socialentrepreneurship, #education