The Must-Have Skill in 2021: Resilience

The journey to self-improvement is riddled with challenges and obstacles. It's conquering and learning from those obstacles that lead us towards a greater path. Building resilience and wielding its power will be a must have skillset for 2021 but getting there won't be easy.

The version of you that can run a marathon? It's on the other side of clean eating and a rigorous fitness routine.

The version of you that loves public speaking? It's on the other side of a great coaching program and practice.

The better version of you is on the other side of something hard. (Tweet this!)

I learned from my long conversation with Gemma Leigh Roberts, a chartered psychologist & LinkedIn Learning leader, that resilience is a muscle. We are all born with it. Some may build that muscle to an Arnold Schwarzenegger level of strength while others opt to ignore it, keeping the muscle soft.

Building your resilience muscle means working it out in practice. The catch? Practice often means facing uncomfortable situations – something most people avoid. However it’s in the discomfort that we learn we how to handle hard situations. Think of yourself as an athlete in training—consistently working on your resilience before you need it. The best two ways to do this?

1. Exercises - Find practical strategies and techniques to help you cope. Practice them for when tough times inevitably arrive.
2. Rest - Set times to focus on resting and recharging during stressful periods to help you refuel.

The global pandemic has caught most of us off guard. Like an athlete asked to play in the off-season, we weren't prepared for conjuring more resilience in our work lives. This means we are building our coping muscle while we are going through it in real time. Continuing to build resilience will be a key ingredient to success in 2021 and beyond.

While we can practice on our own resilience, what about with our coworkers, family members or children? In the shift to working and schooling from home, companies and educators very quickly had to embrace a certain level of vulnerability. They had to trust work and schooling would go on.

Gemma believes that trust is the heartbeat of resilience. (Tweet this!) Leaders must let their team members wing it to a certain extent, testing to see what works and what doesn’t, so they can learn from those mistakes. Creating a collaborative learning environment where people are empowered to say, "I’m struggling with this and I need help" is essential. Resilience is being able to try new things and staying honest when things aren’t going well. Parents can instill this positivity towards hard and new things early on in young people. The more positive you are about trying something new, the better.

When we see people going through a hard time we naturally want to help but too often we don't know how to. Gemma outlined 2 ways do to this:

1. Provide a range of options and ideas. Try outlining multiple ideas such as ‘This technique has worked for me or here’s a course I found value in’. The fundamental truth (that no one wants to hear!) is that it takes work to become stronger. If people aren't ready and willing to dig into the hard stuff, you most likely won’t be able to change their mind. 
2. Lead by example. Whether it’s a coworker, friend, parent or even your own kids, leading by example can be a great way to take people on a learning journey with you. 

As a parent it can be especially difficult because we never want our children to feel pain. However, allowing them to learn and build resilience means letting them face hard times. Gemma explained in our talk that it’s about being there as a support to help them navigate those moments that matters.

"Is there anything positive I can do?" This simple sentence is essential in shifting your mindset when you face challenges. Gemma encourages people to think of problems like a puzzle. You can break down the puzzle pieces, figure out what goes where and learn as you go.

For example, there are thousands of companies that are thriving despite the global pandemic. These companies looked at the opportunities available to them and pivoted their businesses to new opportunities. This same technique can be used to pivot our emotions.

When things get tough take a step back, breathe deeply, and ask yourself, "What can I do with this situation? How can I make this work for me?" See where you can add realistic optimism or positivity. This mindset is a great way to put yourself into a place of empowerment when faced with an issue.

• What’s the best thing you’ve started doing lately? Gemma: Practicing gratitude. Every day listing three things that are good in my world.
• What’s the best gift you’ve given yourself? Gemma: Saying no to work so that I can spend more time with my family.
• What is one lesson young people should learn? Gemma: Not to be afraid of challenges. You will come across things that challenge you, that you think are going to break you, but running away from them is not the answer. You will figure it out and there are always people around you to help.

Strengthen your resilience muscle. Gemma has a free program where you can work alongside her to create your long term resilience strategy. Over 10 days you will receive daily emails about building a strong, flexible and resilient mindset. Sign up and let us know what you think.

To keep learning from Gemma subscribe to her Mindset Matters newsletter, follow her on LinkedIn or her website.

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