Musings on a significant day....

I'm posting about some things I think I have learned on this, a significant day for me. If you like, read on, if not, don't. I'm not trying to be controversial here, just musing...

Thirty years ago, to the day, my parents woke me with a letter that would change my life forever. I had joined the army a few months earlier, with the rank of "Driver" in the Royal Corps of Transports Potential Officer Troop (the last of it's kind, it turns out).

Having completed this nightmarish and fairly emotional course, the letter in my hand was telling me I had then been accepted into the Royal Military Academy for Officer training. I was to start in 3 weeks time, just after Christmas 1992.

It was, without a doubt, one of the best days of my life. I don't remember ever wanting to do anything else. I was on top of the world.

I spoke to my friends from the course and it seemed we were pretty much as the Directing Staff had predicted, around 40% of the finishers (around 20% of the starters) had been granted entry to Sandhurst.

It would be many years before I saw some of the 60% again.

A few short years later and I was in pain, physically and mentally. I had a bad knee injury and my career was over. I had gone from the top of the world where I was invincible and unstoppable to the depths of serious doubt and depression.

30 years further on and I think about the army and my lost career every day. Genuinely, every day. I think about what could have been, the adventure that I missed and the friends that went on without me to do great things. I am envious, sad and curious all at the same time.

My knee still hurts and I limp when I'm tired.

I'm glad that I still know many of the people I joined up with. Of the 40% who finished that course and went on to RMAS, some have remained in the army and hold senior ranks, some have left and hold successful civilian careers, some are happy in more simple endeavours. One was dismissed for "bringing the army into disrepute" (it was no surprise), some are married, some are not, some have kids, some do not, so we are a mixed bag. I have regular contact with many of them and between us we have been ushers and best men at each others' weddings as godfathers to each others children. It's these people that I think of on anniversaries like today

I also think every day about some of the things that I learned from those people and that experience. Here are a few, and feel free to add some if you like.

Life is a wonderful and enjoyable thing. If you look for the funny in everything, you'll find it. People should laugh every day, it makes the world a better place. Don't take anything too seriously, it's not worth it.

Those around you are vital. Look after your friends and family, they will repay it in spades. Watch for the talents of other people and if you can use those talents for mutual benefit, then do so.

See that pal that always used to get you into, and indeed drag you out of the pub fight? Stick with that pal, they are the ones that will have you crying with laughter at the old stories around the table at a middle aged dinner party.

Celebrate everything! A birthday? Throw a party! A promotion? Go out for dinner! A new baby in the family? Send flowers and cards! You car started first time? Cheer as you drive along! You don't have to spend money you don't have, but make sure people know that you are pleased for everyone's little wins as well as the big ones.

Always send thank you letters for kindness or generosity from others. Letters, not texts, and if you can write them in fountain pen, do so. It will give you a reputation as someone who is grateful and therefore worth looking after. A thank you letter will get you more invitations to events, dinners and parties than any other action.

Think you can't do something? A promotion at work? A new job? Setting up a charity event to raise money for a friend? A new sport or hobby? Sod it, try it anyway, what's the worst that could happen? (P.S. Never answer that question truthfully....)

When things go wrong, f*ck it. They will go wrong. You'll feel bad, but as a good friend of mine always says, "this too will pass". I don't remember what was annoying me this time last year, so it can't have been that bad. F*ck it.

Ask for help when you need it, I cannot emphasise this enough. If you are in need, speak up. If you're reading this, then I probably know you, so if you don't think you can speak to anyone else, call me. I'll listen, then I'll tell you a bad joke, then I'll come round and give you a hug. It will be OK.

Do some charity work, it makes you feel better. Yes, you've got time, you really have. You're reading this for Pete's sake!

Become comfortable in your own company, you are a good person to be alone with. Pitch a tent on the beach, light a fire and watch the waves. It's brilliant, particularly with campfire steak, red wine and a cigar.

Always find a reason to do something, rather than a reason not to do something. Make an effort to see people, even if it's just for a quick brew and a chat. Accept the majority of invites to things. Go and call someone you love, now.

Tell people how you feel about them, so long as it's loving. Yes, even men. Stop taking the p1ss for a moment and give your mate a hug. Now start taking the p1ss again.

Work hard but retire early. Seriously, retire as early as you can, even if it's later than you would like. Nobody really cares how hard you work, so give it up as soon as you can. Spend time doing things you really enjoy, not things you think you should say you enjoy.

On that note, tell your kids to start a pension plan as soon as they can (at 18 preferably), so they can retire as well. It's probably the best bit of advice that you can give.

Finally, and I will give you the motto of 77 POC Troop RCT to finish. It's a phrase I really should have used for the strapline of FSF because I love it and it really rings true.

Nil Desperandum, Experto Crede

If you know, you know. Death to Naggons and all that.