Musings from quarantine: An opportunity for growth and love

As I sit here at my laptop writing this article, I’ve got my four year old twins playing imaginary games behind me. I’d like to say they are being super quiet and that taking business calls and working from home has been effortless, but that wouldn’t be true. They’re now in the process of pulling all the cushions off our couches and bouncing off them like frogs. They’ve informed me they’re exercising. I think it must be the kiddie version of circuit training. 

We have been at home in quarantine over a week now and they are like my little shadows. The only real alone time I get is when I have a shower or am on the toilet. And even then, it’s not always a dead cert. Bedtime has ended up getting later and later and even though I get up at least an hour before they do every morning there doesn’t seem to be enough time to get everything I want done. I used wake up at 5AM but because I’m going to bed at midnight these days, if not later, I’ve had to set my alarm for 6AM. I don’t function very well with under six hours sleep. I’ve tried to trick my subconscious mind by telling myself I can live on five just before going to sleep but it’s just not true. My chimp gets the better of me and I become an emotional, weepy wreck who takes everything personally. Even if that’s just a story I’m telling myself, it feels very real. I also end up craving more sugar than usual which just makes feel rubbish. That sort of negative energy doesn’t benefit anyone, least of all me. 

Despite all the above, I’m in a really good place. Not a euphoric, giddy kind of place, although some days when the kids and I are belting out Moana tunes at the top of our voices I am pretty euphoric, but just a really grounded, happy place. I’ve got my family around me. We are healthy. We are safe. We have a bed to sleep in. We have food on the table. We are fine. I am reminded of the film ‘Life is Beautiful’. Everything is about perspective. Shift it slightly and you can experience the world in a completely different light. That is what I am choosing to do. That is how I am not only surviving but thriving. 

Worrying about what will happen tomorrow, next week or a month from now won’t do me any good. It won’t do my children any good. I can prepare and plan for the future but for now I have to remain positive and committed to staying healthy in body, mind and soul. I am personally responsible for myself. No one else. I have to be the Energy Bus my family needs. I have to be their leader. I have to show them that in the face of adversity we keep going.

A friend of mine accused me of sounding like a self help book the other day. I guess I do. I read a lot of them. I’m reading even more of them these days. I am filling my mind with positive, compassionate thoughts. I’m using my imagination about how to be creative. I am surrounding myself with other positive like minded people. 

I know a lot of people are suffering right now. And I know the world has become a scary place for a lot of people. I have a mortgage and bills to pay too. I have a family to feed. I’m not immune to what’s going on around me. I just limit my exposure to the news. It’s always been negative but now even more so. I choose where to focus my attention. Sometimes I have to literally force myself to put down the phone. I take personal responsibility for my happiness. I am also responsible for how my children experience this period of upheaval. 

I cannot control COVID-19. I am not a virus expert or a health expert. I’m just a wife, a mum, a sister, a daughter, a business owner, a friend.

The only thing I can control right now is how I react to what is going on. The only thing I can control is my mindset and what I choose to focus on. Nothing else. 

Watching the news all day long and stopping work isn’t going to benefit anyone. The economy needs me to carry on working. To find other ways of working but to still work. Every single job matters. So many people are pulling together and doing their bit. If we stop working the ripple effect will be massive. And not just to the economy. To our mental health. 

Working from home looks a little bit different these days. The kids have joined me in saying positive affirmations and jumping around the house to change our energy state. We’ve also started saying grace at every meal. The kids enjoy it so much we also say it at snack time. It’s effectively us practicing gratitude as a family and remembering all the things to be grateful for in our lives right now. A way to slow down and really appreciate that we are alive: right here, right now and that we have each other. 

What frightens me most is the panic, especially when it is so close to home. Some people are talking like the world has ended. And perhaps it has. The one we knew and clung to so desperately for so long. And I get that it is hard. It’s painful. It’s unfair even. Nobody likes change. It’s downright scary. 

But there’s also an opportunity for a lot of growth and love. People don’t like to talk about love, kindness, compassion and growth. But we need to come together. To collaborate. To work through this. Going into free fall isn’t going to help anyone. Not ourselves. Not our families. Not our communities. Not the economy. Not the planet. No one. It starts with us. We have to be the Energy Bus. To dig deep. 

And I get it by the way. You think I don’t want to curl up in a ball and squeeze my eyes shut and wish it all away. You think I’m not scared too? Of course I am. You think if I let my mind wander I don’t get a tight burning anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach and I just want to burst out crying? Of course I do. But all I can control is my reaction to things and for that I have to have a positive mindset. By staying positive, I can be creative. I can do something, anything, to contribute to helping people through this. People are in complete meltdown right now. That mass panic is having a domino effect. You can feel it. I pray, and yes I literally pray, that we can come together as one planet, one consciousness and heal. Some people have suggested we are being punished by a Higher Power. No one is punishing us. We do that all by ourselves. We are our own worst enemy. We have been angry, resentful, competitive and unkind for so long; to ourselves and others. My hope is that during this time we turn inwards and dig really, really deep. That we connect with what is important and that we emerge a stronger, kinder and more compassionate human race. My hope is we choose love. Love for ourselves, our fellow man and our planet. And then together, from the ashes, we can rise again like a Phoenix, as one world, as one consciousness.