MUSEUM OF BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS

I was fascinated to read in a recent American Bar Association newsletter that a Los Angeles law firm (Quinn Emanuel) has opened a museum in LA known as the “Museum of Broken Relationships.” Is it just me or is there some irony to the fact that the museum occupies space that was previously a Frederick’s of Hollywood retail store?

According to an article in the LA Weekly, the museum is a “worldwide project that collects and displays the detritus of people’s failed romantic relationships.” As it turns out, this is the second permanent location of a MOBR. The first was established in Croatia 2010 after being first conceived as a traveling exhibit in 2006, but eventually outgrowing the ability to remain mobile. Who knew so many people would want to document the downfall of their relationships?

At first I assumed (based on its location in LA) that the museum was about Hollywood stars whose relationships had soured, but it turns out that fame has little to do with the exhibits on display, most of which are donated by “ordinary” people.

Some of the exhibits may seem funny (or, as the LA Weekly termed it “bizarre”) like the rubber apron with enormous breasts which a woman’s former boyfriend compelled her to wear when they were sexually intimate. Others are more poignant, like a red blinking light sent to a man by his ex after a painful breakup, so that he would not get lost in the dark. Sadly, he later committed suicide.

According to the founder of the LA MOBR, John Quinn, the point of the museum is to show that people survive broken relationships and eventually do go on with their lives. In the case of the suicide, that obviously is not true. It is important not to trivialize the emotional trauma that the break-up of a marriage can cause, but thankfully, most people are resilient enough to survive this difficult period of emotional and legal transition.

When a new divorce client sits down with me for the first time, there will be an inevitably emotional moment when s/he will tear up or completely break down and reflect on how this was not supposed to happen, and that the marriage was supposed to last forever. Often, there are expressions of betrayal, anger and always of hurt.

Like most attorneys, I never guarantee legal outcomes to people who come to me for professional services. However, I do offer one promise, based on my many years of experience practicing domestic relations law. I tell my clients that, by the time the divorce proceedings are completed, the client will be feeling much better emotionally, will experience a sense of relief (even if co-mingled with sadness) and the client will have a clearer idea of what life after divorce will look like. In other words, the client will survive the divorce. Yet, even that is not always true – or, there are some who will not be able to stay the course until the divorce is completed.

Many years ago, a young man came to see me about a divorce. He appeared to be overcome by the sadness he felt because his wife had left him. After he left my office I never heard from him again. I later learned he had committed suicide.

Initially, I thought the idea of a MOBR was rather absurd. But, on further reflection I imagine many of my divorce clients would be able to donate some item that epitomizes the sense of loss, anger, relief, or whatever prevailing emotion might be the ultimate catalyst to letting go of the relationship emotionally and getting on with their lives. Ultimately, what matters is the ability to see that there is life after divorce and to commit staying the course.