Museletter the Ninetieth

The most important class I took in college — the one that has stayed with me the longest — wasn't economics or directing or literature or calculus. It was (I'm surprised to admit) Movement for Theatre, taught by Tom Leabhart, a class that focused on how to sit, how to move, and how to stand — not at attention, but with intention.?

For a college student, it was a painfully-early morning class, and Tom gently reminded those who daily wandered in late, "Punctuality is the politeness of kings!" Then he would lead us in warmups, stretches, and breathing exercises, in order to tackle the hardest task of all: to be present.

I was fascinated watching him: part dancer, part actor, part drill sergeant (though always with a smile). I had never met someone so in their body, so committed to communicating and expressing through posture, gesture, and movement. He taught us that in each moment we can act from the head, the heart, or "the procreative and digestive center" — or, as analogs: the hand, the forearm, or the bicep… or the fingers the palm, or the thumb…?

I'm still not sure why I signed up for the class, as I didn't intend to become an actor. I was a scrawny kid who found joy in my intellect more than my body. Little did I know how crucial these hours would be to me in the decades to come. Tom helped me realize that we're all actors, every day — not pretending or "putting on a show," but through our honest attempts to communicate more clearly, express what's real, and act out our own deep truths.

Even in today's hyper-virtual, digital world, we are still just human bodies, at rest and in motion, trying to be present, trying to connect. The better we use these bodies, the more effective we can be. I'm thankful I stumbled on a teacher who helped show the way.

Moral Diversity

Do you care about DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion)? Interestingly, people into DEI often overlook an important way in which each of us is different: our morals. We like to believe that people are just more or less moral — like there's a single morality slider. But social scientist Jonathan Haidt has shown that morality is actually a combination of five core values that every human shares:

• Caring (not causing harm)
• Fairness (not cheating)
• Loyalty (not betraying)
• Authority (not subverting)
• Purity/Sanctity (not degrading one's body or mind)

He likens this to a sound equalizer with sliders that go up and down: Some people feel really strongly about some and less strongly about others — and it's the particular mixture (or matrix) that defines their own sense of morality. The problem, of course, is that we're also hardwired to get righteous when someone else's sense of morality is different than ours: They're wrong, or bad, or worse.

For example, my sister cares about people… I mean, a lot. Like, if I were to plot where she is on this matrix, I think her Caring point would be super high. Of course, she also has feelings about the other four categories, but not like Caring. And as much as I care about people (I do!), I think the "care slider" on my moral equalizer is lower than, say, my "fairness slider."

That means my sister and I get along great, but sometimes we look at each other and wonder, "what the heck is wrong with you?!" It's just the way we're wired.

When someone has a similar moral matrix to yours, but applies those morals in a different way, they may seem a bit odd — like how some people apply "purity" morals to sexuality, while others apply "purity" to what food they will or won't ingest. On the other hand, when someone's moral matrix is configured differently — when their sliders are dramatically different than yours — we're likely to see them as "morally wrong," sometimes to the point of being repugnant.

But what if they're not "wrong" or "less moral" than you? What if they're just morally different?

If we're going to embrace diversity and inclusion, I think that means we need to embrace people who believe/feel/moralize differently. Unfortunately, it's far easier to accept someone who has different skin or gender or faith than it is to accept someone with a different moral matrix… But I'll try to accept yours if you try to accept mine, okay?

When to Write

When I was 10, I told my dad I wanted to write a book. After all, he had written books, so I figured he'd have good advice. And he did… He said: "OK, but don't write a book until you have something to say."

It took a number of years 'til I had something I really felt like I could (and should) share, and when the book came out, it changed my life. People tell me it changed their lives, too.

But I needed to wait, and collect, and filter, and grow (and learn how to write well!) before I started typing.

It can be frustrating to wait. But the time will come.

Thank You!

I enjoy sharing my musings… and I enjoy hearing yours! Please share this newsletter with a friend,?follow me on LinkedIn, and send me feedback. You can always reach me at [email protected]