The Murky Business of Grooming

Lately, there have been many reports about the trafficking of young girls and children, abused, being sold into domestic slavery and prostitution. It is not only the local children who are being targeted but young girls are being imported from various parts of India. Children are targeted by professional agents who groom them and then coerce into a dangerous future. A decade ago the valley was hit by the infamous sex scandal in which many powerful people were involved. Whatever comes into the public domain is just a tip of the iceberg. Unfortunately, there is no mechanism or agency to monitor such heinous crimes.

Grooming is a sinister act of befriending vulnerable and not only abusing their trust but using them deliberately for wicked purposes. It is mostly done by sexual predators who target the vulnerable and young children. Grooming is also defined as someone building an emotional connection with a child to gain their trust for the purposes of sexual abuse or exploitation. Any age group can be groomed but people on the two extremes, young and older, are particularly vulnerable.

In the current times, there are multiple channels to groom, may it be face to face, phone and online. It is not easy to detect grooming and even the victims fail to see any wrongdoing at the start. The predator can be known or unknown to the victim, mostly a stranger but sometimes a family member, family friend or a professional with an easy access to the children. Groomers can be male or female of any age.

Groomers are shrewd and take their time to win the trust of the vulnerable person. They usually target those who are weak and prone to suggestibility. Groomers’ study their victims thoroughly, find their weaknesses and then target them using the same. Children and young people are not able to understand that they have been groomed, or that what has been happening is abuse. It is usually late when they realise that they are being used and abused. Once the groomer has gained enough trust of their victims, they try to isolate them from their family, friends and neighbours. They are made to feel dependent. They use any means of power or control to make their victims believe that they have no choice and have to do what is being ordered. Groomers often use ‘secrets’ they have gained from the victim to control and frighten them in future. It often ends as blackmail, and subsequently making the victim feel guilty and ashamed to stop them divulging the abuse to anyone else.

Online grooming is very common and most difficult to detect for any parent. Groomers often use fake accounts, names and ages to befriend the vulnerable. They often study the online behaviour, profile and updates of their victims and then use the same as bait. Groomers may not always meet their victims in person but often involve them in an online sexual activity like sending explicit messages, asking for nude pictures or have sexual conversations online or by text messages. They often use the same conversations as evidence against their victims as a threat if the victims refuse to comply or if they try to seek help. Children do not disclose such liaisons because of shame, guilt, threats, unaware that they are groomed and at times they really believe in the relationship. As per some studies, sexual grooming of children over the internet is most common in the age group of 13–17 years followed by 13–14 year. The majority of the victims are girls. The mobile phone is used in most cases of victimisation and children with behavioural issues are highly vulnerable.

War and conflict zones are particularly known for grooming and human trafficking and there is enough evidence from the published literature. Grooming gets murkier when it is used by states and agencies to gather information and intimidate. Hence, any war or conflict zone in the world becomes a hell for children and those who are not able to protect themselves. Grooming not only puts lives at risk, but can lead to perpetual abuse and human trafficking. Women and young children are often the first targets. The secrecy and the fear make the situation worse. Unfortunately, Kashmir is one such place and grooming is common. The situation is made worse by poverty, joblessness, broken families and orphans in thousands.

Once a child is groomed, it does not take long to get the family coerced into the same as poor people have hardly any escape and non-cooperation is dealt with threats and intimidation. Mind you if they have groomed a child, they would keep all the evidence like phone calls, text messages, and online chat etcetera and if the child or the family wants to backup, they would use the same on them and force them to do things they may not do otherwise. The abuse usually starts with friendly talk, exchange of petty favours, mobile phones till the groomer gains enough power over the victim. Unfortunately, this not only leads to sexual abuse but often ends up them being used for information gathering and spying on their own family, relatives and neighbours. Often the victims end up as accused when things come out by an accident leading to devastating consequences not only for the abused but society at large.
It becomes imperative on parents and guardians to remain mindful of their children’s activities both in the real world and online. It is not uncommon for the groomers to befriend the families to get access to the children. Similarly, schools though mostly safe cannot be ignored and any sign of unusual behaviour in a child should be taken seriously. If a child is using a phone or the internet, parents need to know what is going on, what online sites the children are accessing and whom they are talking to. If your child comes with a new phone, gifts or anything you believe they cannot afford, it should never be ignored. With all good cultural practices, we do have a problem of open door access to anyone and in the current age, this may not be the best idea and seeking permission to enter is not rude but recommended. Anyone may it be your neighbour or a friend, visiting your home more often that necessary should be taken with caution.

There is no specific law in relation to sexual grooming. While children in Indian states are safeguarded by the Protection of Children from Sexual Offenses Act (POSCO 2012), Jammu and Kashmir has not bothered to introduce it yet and there is no equivalent law as well. POSCO 2012 applies to children under the age of 18 years and gives protection from sexual abuse and intends to protect the child through all stages of judicial process giving paramount importance to the principle of “best interest of the child”. The State Commissions for Protection of Child Rights (SCPCR) are empowered under this law and need to be informed within 24 hours of any report of abuse. This may be one of the safeguards Jammu & Kashmir state can introduce to protect young children.

The Criminal Law (amendment) Act, 2013, was passed by the Indian Parliament in the aftermath of the Delhi gang-rape. The J&K assembly adopted the amendments in March 2016 but left intact the impunity for the prosecution of public servants. Which essentially means any act of sexual abuse or related acts by the security forces will not be prosecuted. Ironically the only thing assembly has advocated is that the driving licence of the accused should be suspended and if proved guilty should have no right to drive.
J&K Juvenile Justice (Care & Protection) Act 2013 as implemented in Jammu & Kashmir is also silent about sexual abuse and related issues and seems mostly brought into force to justify the detention of juveniles, defined as children under the age of 18 years. It defines a child in need as someone who is being or likely grossly abused, tortured or exploited for the sexual abuse or illegal acts, or who is being inducted into drug abuse or trickling, or who is being abused or likely abused for unconscionable gains. But when it comes to safeguarding and prevention of such crimes, the Act 2013 is silent and hence of no use.

It is the responsibility of everyone to be aware of such acts, people and safeguard children and families. The State needs to make adequate legal provisions including the introduction of POSCO or equivalent law with the establishment of Children’s Commission. Keeping in view the age of mobile phones and the internet, the law needs to keep pace with the time. The civil society also needs to look after those who being victims of the conflict are dependent and vulnerable so that they do not fall into this trap. Finally, the anti-human laws giving impunity to any individual need to be scrapped as there is no justification for allowing abuse and trafficking of children.

https://www.risingkashmir.com/news/the-murky-business-of-grooming