Mum’s (dad’s) the word

Most British parents had their first taste of home-schooling in spring 2020. When schools reopened a few months later, you could almost hear a nationwide sigh of relief. Suddenly there was a new appreciation for teachers. Fast-forward to the first weeks of 2021 and parents across the country are once again having to stifle a groan while Googling the difference between prepositions, conjunctions and interjections.

For working parents, the challenge is even greater. An internet search for ‘how many working parents are there in the UK?’ wasn’t as conclusive as I had assumed it would be. Government data from 2018 suggests that around 74% of mothers are in employment. Either I can’t find the father figures, or they don’t exist. Either way, we don’t need data to know that there are a lot of working parents out there, mums and dads, who are affected by school closures. 55% of the permanent Magenta team are parents – soon to increase to two thirds when my little one arrives at the end of April – and despite being busier than ever, we’ve had to adapt as a business to ensure those juggling the role of teacher and communications specialist have the support and flexibility they need to get through the next few months.

The average Joe undertakes 9.7 activities as part of their day-to-day role, according to Leesman research. Although 2020 forced the majority of the global workforce to conduct these activities virtually, the scope of roles hasn’t changed – if anything, people have taken on more work since Covid 19 first graced our lives last March. We just don’t have access to the variety of work settings we once enjoyed.

One thing’s clear: home-schooling while holding down a job without being able to break free from the four walls that keep families captive is no easy feat. A Facebook group set up in March to support working parents during lockdown now has over a million members. The popularity of this award-winning online community goes to show how sought-after tips to cope with where school-work meets work-work are.

Since schools aren’t going to reopen until mid-February at the earliest, what changes do employers need to make to support those juggling work and play (and school)? I spoke to a handful of mums and dads about their experiences to date to find out.

WHAT HAS BEEN GOOD AND NOT SO GOOD ABOUT SPENDING SO MUCH TIME AT HOME AS A WORKING PARENT?

Will Easton, workplace consultant: Good things: I’ve been excited to see how and what the kids are learning. Bad things: I have discovered how bad I am at KS2 level maths and English! 

Cathy Hayward, founder, Magenta: The positives have been less rushing around in the morning. The negatives have been around getting to grips with new technology for children to home-school, and problems with that working/ overwhelming the home internet when you have two children livestreaming lessons and two adults on video calls. Work definitely leaks into non-working hours as a result. If you’re working and living in the same space, it’s also harder to switch off as a result.

Mark Parry, creative director, Magenta: It’s been challenging trying to fully focus when your child keeps asking questions like 'how do I do this?', when they really mean, ‘can you do my homework for me?’

Craig Peters, consultant, Magenta: The obvious positives are spending more time with the family than I would have done prior to the pandemic. In terms of things that aren’t so good, we are completely under each other’s feet. The noise can sometimes be intolerable, particularly when you are doing some intense, high concentrated work which is often the case.

HOW HAVE YOU BALANCED WORK WITH FAMILY NEEDS?

Antony Law, MD, Churchill Group: I would say we are in a routine now where it works for us. It’s never easy but we work with what we have. The difficult part is not having much time away from each other, which may sound strange but everyone needs proper face-to-face interaction with other humans other than those you live with from time to time.

Shahlia Nelson Rogers, client director, Magenta: Finding that balance can be tricky. Having a dedicated workspace has helped – it’s meant that I can set up “house rules” around work so that when I’m at my desk, I’m working and interruptions need to be minimal. If the door is shut, I cannot be disturbed unless something is on fire. Equally, when I’m not “at work” I’m quite strict about being fully available for my family and not keeping one eye on my emails. I’m fortunate that my daughter is of an age where she understands that my work is important, not just because it helps to pay the bills, but because I have responsibilities to my clients, my team and my company. We have made it very clear that while being “mum” is my job, it’s not my only job.

Cathy Hayward: Over the past few months, I’ve also become less hard on myself, not setting such tight deadlines and being a bit more relaxed if things don’t go to plan.

Will Easton: The days when I am the only parent in the house with a 9-year-old and 11-year-old daughter is full of distractions. Living in an open plan house is great, until that open plan space is filled with more than just me! The fact that I haven't been able to shut a door and get on with work has been very stressful. I honestly think this would-be alleviated if I had a dedicated office where I could shut the door. On top of this there is a guilt factor. You have a variety of stakeholders to keep happy – clients, employers, colleagues – and now the kids are stakeholders too!

THINKING ABOUT THE BUSINESS WORLD IN GENERAL, DO YOU THINK THERE’S MORE SUPPORT / FLEXIBILITY / UNDERSTANDING FOR WORKING PARENTS?

Craig Peters: I think there’s had to be. The pandemic doesn’t discriminate so regardless of where you work, what your background is, what industry you work in, what your job role/function is, all parents have been impacted. We all consume the media and we have to recognise that these newspapers aren’t written by robots. These reporters are human beings, too, many of whom are working parents providing us with national news from the kitchen table whilst feeding the children. I think empathy is important in this case. Everyone has a completely different home working set-up.

Katina Byford-Winter, Magenta’s wellbeing manager: Covid has definitely forced employers to rethink how to work in our ever-changing world. Where before it felt like home life and work were separate things, it now feels like they’ve been weaved together resulting in a better balance between the two. As a parent, this makes life seem more fluid and I think this approach allows employers to get the best out of parent employees.

Shahlia Nelson Rogers: In my experience it really varies across different sectors and different organisations. Many businesses talk the talk when it comes to offering flexibility and support for parents, but the reality can be very different. While having a flexible working or parental leave policy is a step in the right direction, it’s not the same as true support which considers each individual’s needs. All too often a request for flexibility is seen as an indication that an individual has lost interest in their role, or as a lack of ambition. There is no doubt that since I became a parent ten years ago, there has been an overall improvement, and the pandemic has helped demonstrate that flexible working doesn’t always mean ineffective working, but I think there is still a considerable way to go to ensure that working parents are able to achieve a meaningful work-life balance.

Antony Law: I don’t think the business community quite know what to do if I’m honest. If there is anything positive out of this pandemic, perhaps business leaders will have a much better understanding of what it takes to juggle two different lives. Perhaps we’ll all be more patient when our colleague has to go on mute to move the child out of the room!

HOW DOES THE PERFECT EMPLOYER SUPPORT WORKING PARENTS THROUGHOUT AND BEYOND THE PANDEMIC?

Cathy Hayward: They will understand that it’s not always going to be possible to deliver what’s needed within a certain timeframe if something blows up at home. They will appreciate that interruptions are likely, and people may need to work unusual hours to get things done, or that work may need to be delegated at the last minute. 

Will Easton: It will vary on a case-by-case basis. However, I think it is clear that the cost of living and the demand for parents to bring in an income has become more and more in recent years. Add this to the cost of childcare in the UK and you see what a juggle it can be just to make ends meet. With this in mind I think the support element needs to be very fluid. We need to treat people on an individual basis. I can feel HR professionals gasp in horror with the thought of losing a blanket policy for all, but this is the reality. 

Mark Parry: It’s all about offering flexibility, and being open to offering an element of home working even when the pandemic comes to an end.

Craig Peters: You can’t put a price on having an employer who empathises and understands the situation you are in. Just being there to listen without judgement, for me personally, has been very helpful. As an employee, you also have to appreciate the difficult situation that employers are in. They have a scattered workforce, wages to pay, clients and customers to keep happy and office bills to cover while it remains empty. They, too, are under tremendous stress so empathy goes both ways. When you have that level of understanding and support between one another then this will only result in a positive outcome in the short, medium and long term for all parties. 

WE KNOW THERE’S A DIVISION BETWEEN THOSE THAT BELIEVE HOME WORKING HAS IMPROVED THEIR WORK/LIFE BALANCE, AND THOSE THAT THINK THE OPPOSITE. DO YOU THINK COVID HAS FORCED SMART EMPLOYERS TO THINK MORE CAREFULLY ABOUT HOW THEY ACCOMMODATE THE NEEDS OF THEIR PEOPLE?

Katina Byford-Winter: Definitely. Even the best employer has had to re-evaluate the way they support their staff. The pandemic has affected every aspect of life as we know it and with that comes the need for all employers, even the best ones, to adapt and change. It can’t be a one size fits all solution and each business must assess what will work best for them and their employees. Dialogue is key and any business not having regular discussions with their workers will not evolve as well in our current climate.

Antony Law: I think the pandemic has sent a clear message to companies – trust your workforce. The old stuffy companies that want to see you 9-5, bum-in-seat will fail and fail quickly. The smart companies will also realise the importance of real person interaction but that doesn’t need to be every day. Just think of the work relationships and network you have built face to face – could you have done this as effectively virtually?