Mummy Tummy

MUMMY TUMMY

Dear Akhila,

??????????When I think of you, it’s not a versatile surgeon trained from Christian Medical College, Vellore that comes to my mind. It’s the naughty little toddler sister who made me a sandwich applying shoe polish instead of jam that pops up in my mind map. It is hard to believe that you are mother of two kids already. I congratulate you on joining back work from maternity leave with the 4 month old daughter. Mothers ask me what is the age of the child when a mother should go back to work after maternity leave. I tell them whenever YOU are ready, you should join back!

?????????Pregnancy and post -partum period are testing times for all women but pose unique challenges for working women. A lady doctor works in close contact with sick patients and their family. Her physiology is never an excuse for not doing the assigned work properly. She should portray herself as a ray of hope to the patient and not as an agent of chaos! I would want to share some life hacks so that you would present to your patient as a successful doctor and not as a helpless creature yourself.

??????????My first pregnancy was a nightmare. I was na?ve. I felt as if I was hitting puberty a second time! The rapidly changing body, the hormones, the mood swings left me feeling awkward, ashamed and confused. Everything was similar to puberty except for my bankruptcy. Me and my husband had passed out with MD degree and were working as assistant professors in a teaching institute. We were pooling all our money for DM entrance books, exam fees and flight tickets to write entrance exams in different cities of the country. Those days salwar was my staple costume. Such dresses are unforgiving. You put on a couple of kilos and you are disqualified. My wardrobe started shrinking as the months of pregnancy passed. I found it frustrating to buy new clothes every month to accommodate the growing tummy. Standing in front of nearly 100 students in the lecture hall for theory classes with my monstrous belly made me miserable. I was scared if my students could see my fetal movements!

“Mom, don’t be nuts. Your students are sitting so far away they can’t see shit. I doubt whether they can see your PPT also properly!” squeaked cool Akki boy. Unfortunately I could not hear him. Sweating profusely, I was rather reading PPT from my laptop rather than making eye contact with my students.

?????????A simple dressing hack for lady doctors during pregnancy and later during lactation is to just wear an apron/white coat. Apron, the symbol of cleanliness and purity would add a layer of protection between the mummy tummy and the patient. It not only adds authority and demands respect but also prevents the mother from carrying germs from patient back home to the baby. You can also add a layer by a veil, scarf, blazer, jacket or cardigan in cold months.

??????????My second pregnancy happened nearly a decade later. This time I was running houseful with twins. The hormonal changes and physiological changes were there as in debut pregnancy but what had changed was ME. I was mature and experienced. It was not at all like hitting third puberty. I knew my skin was glowing and my hair was bouncing. I was looking more beautiful than ever before. I had transformed from a caterpillar to a butterfly! I was working as Oncologist in a corporate hospital. I did not have to stand in front of students.

“Mom, your patient is sitting so close. Can she see me kicking?” screamed the weakling Appu.

“Oh c’mon. No sissy talk. Mommy is grown up. She will find some way, don’t freak out!” hushed the sturdy Aarohi.

???????????Yes, I had definitely grown older but wiser. I had understood I had to add a layer between my tummy and the patient. But this time I decided to add not just one layer but multiple layers. I had embraced a saree! Saree was my staple costume in this phase of life. I regretted not having read saree stories of Indra Nooyi in my first pregnancy as I was immersed in DM entrance books. I realized wearing saree in pregnancy is like your mother’s hug. Just like the mother, saree hid the imperfections, was accommodative to the increasing proportions and would say, “I am right here. You go girl!” I was feeling comfortable and was looking confident. I had learnt to create different looks with the same old sarees and different blouses, accessories, blazers, hairstyle and not to forget the apron. As doctors we are always being watched. It is important to dress well and exude confidence at every phase of our lives whether pregnant or non- pregnant.

???????????One of my patients with breast cancer who came for her follow up last week remembered, “Mam, my mother always appreciates how you were so calm and composed even during your pregnancy and answered all our queries”. Times can be rough some times. We just have to endure tough times. She had endured her breast cancer and emerged triumphant. I had endured my twin pregnancy and was victorious too!

???????????My dear sister, as you plunge in to the work force from maternity leave, make it a point to dress well and add layer/s to add authority. Do not forget to put a little make up and a BIG smile on your face. Appear like an angel of hope to your troubled patients and cheer them up.

??????????Lots of hugs and kisses to baby Ashmita.

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Wishing you a successful come back,

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Your proud sister,

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Aparna.