Multitasking and disconnection

3 ways to stay engaged and reconnect

There are days when you might feel like there’s so much to accomplish, you have no choice but to multitask. Sometimes you feel pulled, other times you’re distracted or maybe that shiny new thing is simply too alluring to ignore.

Instead of finishing a task that’s due by the end of the day, you respond to a message that pops up on your screen and nearly two hours later realize that the unnecessary distraction has put you way behind schedule on your initial deadline. So you dive in and work frantically. By the time you finish, feeling far more stressed than you’d like, you spot a number of glaring mistakes. Now you find yourself pleading for an extension to make corrections - and you feel like your day is shot.

When you juggle too many things at once it’s not merely a tough balancing act. Multitasking challenges your brain as you switch from doing one thing well - to stretching yourself to do several things with less efficiency. And the result? A feeling of being disconnected.

How do you choose to stay focused and complete what’s necessary?

THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT

Multi-tasking and disconnection

Serena and I have been working on areas around communication and presentation for the past few months, and today she shared that she’s getting very constructive and positive feedback about how her message is coming across.

But here’s something I’m noticing. While I do well when I’m prepared, I find that in a group zoom call, I freeze up or can’t recall what I want to ask. I want to be ready in these moments, too.

We talked how she’s engaging in these calls, prior to feeling like she’s unable to ask what she wants.

Well, I’m not engaging at all. This is the time I use to read emails, respond to slack or texts, re-format my calendar. My quiet multi-tasking time.

What happens when you do try to jump into the conversation?

I sound like I don’t have any idea about what’s going on.

And then she stopped.

That’s because I don’t have a clue - I haven’t been listening so I just blurt out something to make it look like I’ve taken part in the call, and I sound disconnected.

With Serena’s clear insight, we then talked about what she experiences with her more solid one-on-one conversations.

I’m not multi-tasking, for starters. I listen closely, take pretty good notes and then I’m able to ask questions that really matter.

It’s so cool when folks realize they know what to do in a situation, even if they aren’t doing it.

THIS WEEK’S TOOL

3 ways to stay engaged and reconnect

Sometimes you multi-task without realizing you’re doing it. You’re on a group call and someone pings you and before you know it you’ve lost track of the call. You’re playing a game with a little one and another adult walks into the room and you launch into a discussion that takes you away from the game. Until the child reminds you why you’re here in the first place!

The first step to re-engaging well is to decide to focus on what you’ve committed to doing. Your first line of defense? Maybe you put your phone across the room, silence notifications or let folks know you’re busy for a little while. Once the external chatter is silenced, here are three ways to stay engaged in any size conversation.

My takeaway

Healthy interaction everywhere in my life is extremely important.

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty aware when someone in the room, in a conversation, or across the table is mentally checked out. This includes glancing at their phone, staring into space or being busy with something else while you’re talking.

There are times when I choose to bring them back into the conversation, there are also times when I simply stop talking. And it’s in those moments where I’m reminded how I, too, stray out of an engagement because I’m paying attention to something that has nothing to do with this present situation.

How you show up matters. So I strive to be committed to focusing on the person or task at hand wherever I am: whether I’m coaching, hanging out with littler ones or grocery shopping. If I wind up with three jars of, let’s say, tahini, after a run to the grocery store, I know I’ve been multi-tasking! Humus is on now on my list of to-do’s for the week :)

The shorter way to do many things is to only do one thing at a time.

Mozart