Multiple Streams of Relationships

Another thing they don't teach in school. Multiple streams of income are important. No teacher wants to show you how to diversify a portfolio. Their money goes to school supplies for class. Another story, another article.

Many teachers take side jobs to make ends meet. Too many good teachers leave the profession. None of which has to do with catching the wave. Moving to an area where I did not know anyone- some were amazed that I moved to Arizona.

Texas wasn't my speed and California has its cons. This was when gas was comparably priced to the rest of the country. Nowadays they probably pay more for a gallon of gas than Hawaii.

I had money and wanted to do something different. A gym membership didn't cost too much. That led to different exchanges. The first gym had jerky employees who only wanted one thing.

I might have said "I respect you as a friend" when they wanted to force me into doing business. I really didn't and learned "Don't do business with jerks". Not all trainers are like that. I enjoyed working out and talking briefly with the employees. It was an outlet.

There was a job. For a time. This was the era of "The Seven Month Itch." Jobs last as long as they do. I had lesser positions that ran their course quickly. When a job ended- I was trying to write a book not realizing I could not make a career out of writing- the gym was important.

I would also visit the library. There aren't many relationships to be had at the library. Some employees are nice. Nothing sprouted. I did end up making friends with a Fry's cashier.

I mostly saw him at work. This was the infamous "High on Drugs" Fry's. Most employees acted in a befuddled manner as if they were-you guessed it- high on drugs. Tony was a hard worker and friendly. I would always go to his lane.

In later years I would bag groceries for him. Lighten the load. That was a couple years later. By that time I had a good job. Visiting this Fry's reminded me of poorly run organizations. It's more tolerable when you visit a poorly run company opposed to working for one.

Every job I had raised the stakes. People were not necessarily better at each new company. They took me into different areas and explored different avenues. I probably won't have a better group of colleagues than I had at the resort.

In that magical season (with a horrific supervisor. He didn't join us anywhere in public) I had a nightlife. Maybe once per month I heard that a group of us was heading to a bar after work. I had my monthly bar meets that led to an interesting group and a foray into the hidden job market that would shock some on this site. Support small businesses an at a certain time almost every woman I met had a website.

I'm sure those sites were interesting. Not as interesting as engaging in person. This is the era I romantically recall as My Life, The Porno Movie. It was a pop up shop. Think of it like an ice hotel- beautiful yet transient.

Just like life. With good people at work, the art crowd, swingers, people at the gym and then I started going to nightclubs- there was not a lot of cross pollination. Occasionally I would see friends of friends at different functions, knowing them well enough to greet them and not much else.

As long as someone showed up in one facet I was satisfied. Not everyone will listen to your problems. The ones who were more physical are recalled forever. They did not factor into my day to day life. This was Work Life Balance because people in one arena gave me confidence to do well at work.

So, was I a high school honor student by day and a Hollywood Hooker at night? I'm not answering that. There were many opportunities to meet many and do various things. Nothing illegal, nothing unethical. I was a designated driver sometimes.

This is what having friends is. They asked if they could smoke in the car. As long as you open the window, sure. We ended up at a drive thru. I did not order anything. I wasn't drinking so the allure of greasy food at two in the morning was not there.

The next day, as I played the highlight reel from the night before, an errand was run. The car did not smell like cigarettes. It did smell like Del Taco. Shrug your shoulders and enjoy that I had options.

Knowing a wide array of people from different backgrounds- I never liked cliques or the cliques that felt like I would be good for them. The concept of tribes- maybe that exists at The Heard Museum which I recommend visiting.

Told you I spent a lot of time in Downtown Phoenix. to the point- I am not declaring any group as my "Tribe". Some on the fringes of any given group did not care for me. There were enough engaged, friendly people to not try winning over someone who is an uphill battle at best, obdurate at worst.

Nightlife balanced my life. Adults justified all the courses in school to make students "Well rounded." They were the same adults who wanted me to have pornographic relationships with female classmates instead of nice relationships which could end up in the bedroom. They also felt I should go to college for one reason and one reason alone.

"Make money." I bypassed all the strange fantasies of adults to live a fulfilling life. That carried me through a difficult period. Relationships, even ones in passing that are consistent, can serve as guardrails.

Everything fell away. Part of me feel like Goodfellas where I recall the action, the juice and the life I led. Unlike Goodfellas- I was not in a cocoon where everyone did the same thing and only made friends in the group.

I wonder how I can get this running again. There are some friendly people on the current job. Not enough to create a community. You can't put all your eggs in one basket. I wasn't traveling during the time of these relationships. I seem to meet people on airplanes and in transit. It's a money demographic.

By the time I flew regularly I dealt with people who shopped at Walmart because that was all they could afford. Many of them smoked and gambled, wondering where their paycheck went.

Most of my nights out were inexpensive. I don't drink. At the time I was told how lucky I was not to order twelve dollar martinis. You can still go out and experience others without overspending.

There might be a path to new relationships. I built a little momentum recently. Surround yourself with friendly people who take you to another level. The closest I have come to replicating this was charity happy hours.

Back when these were announced on Facebook. See- it isn't a total waste. Supporting different charities led to meeting different crowds. Some had older professionals, others had a party crowd- everyone coexisted. Lest you thought that happened on a Liberal's bumper sticker- the way to coexist is to get out there and meet a wide array of people. Not everyone will align with you. Some will align in ways you could not imagine right now. It makes me wonder who I'll meet next year.

If you stick with the same people relationships become habits. Possibly good habits. Others become routine. Meet new people and you will learn different things. Even you wind up as a car service or a money lender- in the era of catching the wave I was neither. Those waves were ridden to shore.