Much More Than A Listing Agreement

One of the many factors I love about my profession as a commercial real estate broker is that I meet so many interesting and inspiring people.  All meetings and interactions with commercial real estate owners are beneficial and nuggets of knowledge are always present so long as you pay attention.  However, there are some encounters that really stand out as an encounter that changes ones perspective. I recently had such a meeting with a wonderful couple in their late seventies.

Before I get to the story, I wanted to touch on a book that I read several months ago, called “Resisting Happiness.” In that book it recommended spending time with people at retirement homes as a way to give back to the community and also as a way to really gain insight into navigating our way through this amazing and at times crazy life.  In truth, I met with these owners with the specific intent of obtaining a listing, however, at the end of our meeting I walked away with so much more. In addition to validating the truly beneficial experience noted in “Resisting Happiness”, I walked away with many key life lessons, two of which I describe further below.

I’ve heard many of these lessons before in various contexts, however, at this meeting their intent really sunk in.  This couple’s humility and desire to truly share their stories and derived lessons without motive provided a unique context that will undoubtedly help me carry these lessons on my journey in life.  Hopefully, you’ll find them useful as well!

Sometimes You Eat the Bear & Sometime the Bear Eats You: Now that Is Success:

From the very beginning of our meeting the elderly gentleman (“Sam”) shared stories of his various professions, businesses, and hobbies.  Sam shared that he worked for some very successful and trailblazing entrepreneurs earlier in his life. He was truly inspired by their ability to “turn nothing into something.”  This notion of a challenge to make what does not yet exist into reality clearly impacted Sam at an early age. Sam told me of the wins and losses within the various businesses he had.  He also explained some of the more gut wrenching losses he had and how sometimes even when you’re right you still end up on the losing side. Sam often described the ebb and flow of life with a simple, funny and yet perfect analogy by saying, “sometimes you eat the bear and sometime the bear eats you.”  

Sam was proud of his accomplishments, as he should be.  He turned nothing into something several times in his life and was a success.  The true nuggets came when Sam explained his story as an outline of the countless times when the “bear ate him” and yet he continued to persevere with his goals.  In just the short time I was with Sam, he described several losses and what many would perceive as failures. Yet Sam persevered. Then the true magic of what Sam had to share that day came out as he finished explaining his most recent loss.  Sam said, “and you know what, now that is success!”  In the day and age of instant gratification and success stories devoid of the countless failures leading to success, Sam so elegantly summarized a very important fact.  Success is not all good nor is success all bad.  Success is a combination, an average of the two.  

Where Sam differs from many is that he continued to persevere which kept him in the game of his life goals.  By staying in the game Sam experienced the wins that most certainly followed his losses, which ultimately led to the day when he was an inspiration to an aspiring commercial real estate broker.

The Power of a Made Up Mind:

Sam’s better half and rock of a woman (Beverly) sat and joined us at the kitchen table.  With minimal concern about the property in question, she shared an absolutely powerful story.  See Beverly told me a story about her experience with sickness and how she currently has stage four terminal cancer.  Beverly explained how she refused to pass away despite doctor’s expectations. Beverly explained that in life the power of a made up mind is extremely important and noted further that the mind can even help one facing terminal illness defy the odds.  Beverly explained that she never gave a second thought about her condition, never worried about the illness and continued to live her life as if the illness did not exist. Beverly explained that it’s very important to “have the mind work for you not against you.”  Beverly explained that if she spent her time worried about the illness she would have already passed. But as she explained, the good Lord isn’t finished with her yet and she would maintain a positive mindset until the very end.

I don’t know if Beverly realized the impact her statements had on me.  If the power of the mind has the ability to defy the odds related to a terminal illness, then what else does the mind have the power to control?  Seems like the notion of having a “bad day” seem quite trivial and well within our ability to control. What about the “impossible” project you’re working on?  Is the project really impossible or have you allowed your mind to determine that the project is impossible? In light of Beverly’s story it would seem that all “impossible” projects pale in comparison, and are therefore not as difficult as it might seem.  This of course is true so long as you remember one of Beverly’s main lessons: have your mind work for you not against you.

Commercial real estate is truly a fascinating business, and what makes the business so rewarding is the people I meet.  There will most certainly be a financial benefit from this meeting, however, long after the commission is spent and whatever the commission was spent on is gone, I will continue to benefit from the lessons and wisdom from this amazing couple.  It seemed like an awful waste to keep the wisdom and experience to myself, so I hope you enjoyed Sam and Beverly’s amazing stories. Go Eat Some Bears!