Moving through Human Emotions to Determination, Empathy and Action

Like so many others, I have spent the last week processing the events that have occurred here in the United States while going across the spectrum of emotion. Clearly, the event in Minneapolis - in conjunction with the global pandemic and its disproportionate impact on people of color in this country and the recent videos of black people having the police called on them for "living while black" - have been beyond troubling. For the African-American community, particularly, it has been heart-breaking and devastating to the emotional health of many.

Directly, the events surrounding the murder of George Floyd have been very difficult for me to process. I have been horrified, saddened, ashamed, disgusted, angered and even afraid. Yes, afraid. The video made far too poignant the reality of black people in America … we too often must fear for our lives from those that are sworn to protect & serve. The harsh fact is that those who are supposedly here to ensure law & order have moved too frequently to be the ones that create uncivil, inhumane and dangerous scenarios for the community. I had to remind myself that I am George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Christian Cooper, Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, Tamir Rice, Walter Scott or any of the black people recently targeted for nothing less than the color of their skin. It does not matter your income, social position, educational background, network, career, history of good citizenship, service to your country or any other aspect of a life-well-lived. It can happen to me - being pulled over by the wrong police officer, accused of something untruthful by someone I don’t even know, walking in the neighborhood, enjoying a day in the park – in an instant my life can be changed or taken for nothing other than the color of my skin. That is the daily reality of an African-American. More frightening is the realization that people would have gotten away with these acts of violence and crimes - and that these are not unusual events – except for the simple fact that they were captured on video. Knowing the factual, disproportionate statistics of policing and the judicial system furthers the concerns. That is the reality of the anxiety of the last time I was pulled over by an officer. So, yes – fear.

The horror of the video – caught in full daylight in the presence of fellow officers and with numerous witnesses recording – unashamedly shows the lack of humanity, callousness and vitriol the officer had for the life of George Floyd - a fellow citizen, a human being. It also shows the unacceptable, frequent pattern of complicity and misplaced loyalty of far too many fellow officers. It's a reminder that the overt racism and lynchings of the past have been replaced by covert racism and over-incarceration & institutional brutality today. The hostility, aggression and rage being exhibited in reaction is not acceptable either. Those scenes saddened me, as well. I firmly believe in free speech, freedom to assemble and the myriad of other rights afforded to everyone as citizens of the country – the protests I encourage. The hope is that peaceful change can be enacted – the riots, looting, destruction of property and attacks on other people will not bring about the required change.

The transition from peaceful protest to destructive behavior has apparently been caused in many instances by people and organizations that have a different agenda. And I also question those who immediately feign disgust and anger at the black community for erupting into frustration-filled demonstrations of hopelessness and bitterness. I found myself reading the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. – “ ... a riot is the language of the unheard.” Centuries-long killing, burning, property destruction, family dismantling, rioting, oppression and brutalization of blacks should seemingly be easy “to just get over it”. That sentiment furthers the distrust and paranoia that fuels so much of the anxiety, shame, remorse and suffering of the African-American community. We can find a better way – it will take new ways of thinking, engagement of all people (the next generation’s active political engagement and a multi-racial and multi-cultural effort) and a resolute, sustained focus that this time will not be allowed to pass without real, significant, systemic and structural change.

The reality and feelings of the black community are rooted in a history of systematic brutalization, demonization, marginalization and death. For four hundred years black people have endured slavery, Jim Crow laws, institutional social & economic injustices, employment discrimination, inferior educational, opportunities, disparities in healthcare, housing discrimination – red lining and being subjected to ghettos loosely disguised as separate but equal “public housing projects”, an unjust justice system, and so much other purposeful, evidence to let the community know its place as second-class citizens, inferior citizens, less contributing citizens. That thinking is a blatant untruth that mystifies intelligence.

I reflected on that, in anger, when thinking of my father – who grew up the majority of his childhood without his parents due to their early passing; joined the military service to build his life and career to contribute mightily to his country; serving abroad and in wars on numerous occasions - only to return home each time to be forced to sit in the back of bus, forced to use separate public accommodation, denied basic rights and treated with little to no dignity. I sit with him, to this day, and sometimes see the regret, remorse and frustration that was deposited in him because of the life he has endured as an African-American citizen of this country. Because of him – myself, my siblings, and many of our friends he willingly provided for during our childhood – have not had to endure the shame, guilt or grief that he and so many of his generation overcame. I take great happiness in seeing the pride and joy in his eyes exponentially more often – knowing that the resilience, faith and perseverance he demonstrated has led to the opportunities I enjoy today. One of my greatest memories is not in watching his yearning for better that I have seen from him, but the absolute, resolute pride and hope he expresses. On one occasion when I was frustrated, angry and disgusted a few years ago he simply stated to me … “This will pass. Our people have been through far worse and look where we are. We have endured, survived, progressed and thrived!” I remember the instantaneous relief and hope that his simple statement made for me. If a people, a community can endure institutional slavery, racism, segregation and socio-economic injustice to survive, contribute and thrive as the African-American community has done – what a powerful force and amazing community it must be. On that occasion, I cried tears of joy – unlike those I shed this past weekend in sadness and anger – knowing that we will not just endure and survive but that we will transform and move forward this experiment in democracy just as we have been integrated and integral throughout the history of this country. His true spirit has not been diminished – nor will I ever let mine.

Going through the entire spectrum of emotion over the weekend, I found myself tired. Drained, lost of energy. Simply tired. Fortunately, I also found myself determined and focused – to be a part of the solution, to do my part, to encourage others to be a part of the change needed, and to act! As James Baldwin shared, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” We have an obligation to face this unconscionable stain on our society. The most powerful parts of the last few days have not been viewing the horrifying video, reading the sensationalized media reports, or listening to the divisiveness of politicians as the events unfolded. It has been the heartfelt, inspiring communications I have had with family and with friends – particularly my white friends here and global friends who have watched in dismay at the unraveling of the country’s leadership position and values-compass in the free world. I have been emotionally moved by friends who have asked whether they have been too quiet in the past, whether they should have done more to not just be against racism but to be anti-racist, inquired with “are you okay”, and stated “what can I do” – expressing a determination to be an active part of not allowing this to be the norm any longer. The empathy has been uplifting.

Some have been shocked by what was shared about the racism, discrimination and duality that I (like all African-Americans) endure. Sharing the blatant racist taunts I tolerated in school about my mixed-race background to the current day racial profiling that occurs in daily shopping, interactions with police officers or in my professional career was greeted with responses of disbelief, anger and tears from them. Some admitting that they never believed it was happening to me because of a perceived level of achievement and a strong, secure posture they see projected. This realization of the veil of duality – having to change one’s demeanor, voice tone, or accept inaccurate, biased critiques and comments (just to get along, assimilate, and to bring comfort to others) - is an exhausting reality for African-Americans (particularly in the business world). When that is not done, it is characterized with accusations of being too harsh, intimidating or being disruptive. Being able to share that with some friends after all these years was a relief I didn’t know I needed. It echoed for me the words of Bishop Desmond Tutu – “When will we learn? When will the people of the world get up and say, enough is enough?” He continues to say that we were created for fellowship … so that we should form the human family, existing together because we were made for one another. A powerful reminder for me during this difficult time.

I shared with my friends that I am immensely moved by their outreach. I shared with them that I appreciated their willingness to be comfortable in being uncomfortable. I shared with them that I liked knowing that they are new and more empowered allies in this demand for justice and equality - together. "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - MLK, Jr.

In response to their questions, I shared some things they could read and some of my personal perspective:

- Listen and listen and listen

- Never say “I don’t see color”

- Never say “All Lives Matter” in response to Black Lives Matter

- Realize that you can never truly feel how African-Americans feel – but know that we appreciate sincere understanding

- Explore and learn that there are statistics, research and data that support this as not a perception but a reality of the community

- Lean into discomfort with family and friends – never tolerate jokes, lies or uninformed attacks on others - it is not enough to be against racism but they must be anti-racist

- Until there is full acknowledgement of the original sin of this country and the institutional oppression that remains, we can never be the society and country that realizes the true promise of this nation

- Don’t try to explain, dismiss or deny (or apologize for) this country’s past – help and focus with solutioning the future

More can be done. More must be done. Clearly there is much institutional change that must occur in our laws, policies, police and public official accountability, educational systems, business and employment cultures, and almost every aspect of society. If we are truly to live up to the ideals and potential of this nation, we can do better - we must do better. There is a lot of work to do – but there is no doubt that it is worth doing! We each must do our part in doing better. How do we move corporate work beyond Diversity & Inclusion to true Equity?We must build upon the good work of embracing diversity and creating inclusive environments to demanding equity. We must move forward to fully integrating the knowledge and value of D&I into Equity - in all aspects and as the only accepted norm. We can move our work in areas like Supplier Diversity to be full enablers of Economic Inclusion – leading to economic opportunity, economic impact and economic justice. For my part, these are actions I will continue to pursue.

I revisited one of my favorite quotes late last night - “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world: indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has”, Margaret Mead.

I remain hopeful, I remain determined, I remain focused … and I commit to be better, do better and ACT better.

* These are personal opinions and expressions. My sympathies go to out to the family of George Floyd - may he Rest in Power and Rest in Peace. To all of the other families and victims of senseless violence, bias and unfairness may we all have faith and belief in a better tomorrow.