Moving from self-doubt towards confident, authentic leadership - let’s drop the term ‘imposter syndrome’!

·???????‘I’m going to be found out’

·???????‘I don’t fit in’

·???????‘I’m out of my depth’

·???????‘I’m not as good as them’

·???????‘I’m not good enough’

These are all expressions of what is often termed as ‘imposter syndrome’. It describes a feeling that you’re wearing a mask, and don’t really belong in the role you’ve been given, or aren’t up to the task you have to do. There’s a sense that you need to cover up and hide your authentic self.

This is a real feeling and the above phrases are common thought patterns. My problem is with the term – ‘imposter syndrome’. The thoughts and feelings it describes are actually more the norm than the exception. Some evidence suggests that about 70% of people experience this kind of thing. So let’s stop ‘medicalising’ it and start reframing it as something that we can recognise and move through.

I’m not minimising the problem. The feeling of being out of your depth or not belonging somewhere can be gut-wrenching and paralysing. For example, you might walk into a room of colleagues and instantly feel that everyone else is better than you at this job and you’re soon going to be found out. These difficult expressions of self-doubt often come when we start a new role, but can equally come when we’ve been in a role for a while and new challenges arise.

So what can you do when it arises?

I think there are 3 strategies that are really useful:

1.??????Bringing awareness and self-kindness in the moment when it arises

2.??????Taking small, manageable steps into your ‘growth zone’

3.??????Getting more comfortable with being vulnerable and asking for help

Awareness and self-kindness

Awareness is really key here. What is the flavour of the self-doubt you experience? What kind of thoughts do you notice? The visual above breaks down some of the ways that self-doubt appears.

Which of these is most significant for you? Maybe there’s a combination. The most important thing to remember about thoughts is that they don’t have to be believed. If you can cultivate the ability to notice thoughts and just observe them, it can be really beneficial. When feelings come up, just recognise them and allow them to be there. Try and name the feeling – fear, anxiety, shame, isolation. Just labelling it can be powerful in itself. Notice how it feels in your body – maybe there’s a clench in your shoulders, a tightness in your chest or throat or butterflies in your stomach. Try not to push those sensations away, but allow them to be there and offer yourself some kindness – you could say to yourself something like – ‘this feels tough’ or ‘this hurts’.

Over time, you’ll get more familiar with your common thought patterns and you might start to see where and when they started in your life. With a sense of kind self-awareness, the grip of the self-doubt will ease.

Stepping into the ‘growth zone’

After you’ve tended to yourself in the difficult moment of self-doubt, the next thing to think about is how you can step forward into your ‘growth zone’. Self-doubt often emerges from a ‘fixed mindset’ type of thinking. You characterise yourself as one thing or another, applying adjectives that seem fixed. I once worked with a client who found it really hard not to describe herself as ‘stupid’. She really believed that she was stupid, even though she was well-qualified and accomplished in her career. If you bring a growth mindset to this, you can recognise that wherever you are at the moment, you can learn, grow and develop from here. Be realistic about where your limitations are, look at the evidence objectively, and decide what small steps you can take to learn more and grow in the direction you need to go.

Being vulnerable and asking for help

When you’ve made a realistic assessment of what you need to learn and how you need to develop, you can think about how to share this, and gain the support of others. You might find this really difficult, especially if you have a concept of leadership that involves the leader being the one who knows things, the one with all the skills. That’s not a very realistic or sustainable concept and needs reframing. In reality, the best leaders are those that are competent, but able to bring out the best in others and enable them to grow. Being vulnerable and expressing to your staff when you are finding things difficult sends out a number of messages. Primarily, it says to your team that it’s safe to express vulnerability. Dan Coyle in his book ‘The Culture Code’ talks about the importance of ‘belonging cues’ in building a strong organisational culture. Leaders who can be vulnerable send out these cues.

Building a supportive network is a powerful tool in overcoming self-doubt. When you know what you need help with, you then have to pluck up the courage to ask for it. In this case, you will be facing your fears, but walking in the direction of your growth. Connect with other leaders, who have walked your path. In my experience as a headteacher, the support of other heads was really important. Apart from the amazing help they gave me, they also showed me that we’re all in the same boat. No-one has all the answers and everyone has their crises and difficult moments.

So whether you’re a new leader about to step up to the plate or an experienced one with new and difficult challenges, try not to think of yourself as having a syndrome, but rather be kind to your doubting parts, who are scared or anxious. Move through the difficult feelings and remind yourself that you can learn and grow and that help is available for you.

This is difficult territory, and you might find it hard to navigate by yourself. In this article, I’ve barely scratched the surface. I know there are many other factors to consider and difficulties to overcome. If you’d like some support with building your awareness, developing self-kindness and finding your growth mindset, please get in touch. I’ve worked with lots of leaders on these areas and can help you to find a way through towards more confident and authentic leadership. Drop me an email and let’s start a conversation to see if coaching is for you.