Moving from Safe Spaces to Brave Spaces
Connie Jakab, B.R.Ed
??I help you bravely connect in Community, Education, Home, & Work | Speaker, Founder Bravely Connected Schools | Proud wife of Jakab Co Renovations Restoring HOME
We hear a lot about creating safe spaces for people. I want to offer a possible better alternative, because when you're in a room with other humans, no one is "safe". Someone is going to say something that impacts you, intentionally maybe, but most likely unintentionally. You're going to rub people the wrong way. Personalities are going to collide. I would like to offer the alternative of a "brave space". What is that? Let's dive in.
"Shame is the fear of disconnection. It's the fear that something we've done or failed to do, an ideal we have not lived up to, or a goal we've not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection. Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging." (Brene Brown, Daring Greatly)
When I have a shameful experience I move towards fear which leads to seek control my environment. I will punish anyone who increases my fear. The goal is self preservation. What does this "punishment" look like? Disconnection. And this only increases the collective shame we all feel. Self preservation is the goal of a safe space. Connection is the goal of a brave space. ?
Safe spaces with the goal of self preservation focuses on:
??Brave spaces with the goal of connection focuses on:?
? We need to shift the conversation from shame, fear, control, punishment? to the idea of bravely leaning in towards one another– because fear, control and punishment?don’t build relationship but tears it down. I talk to a much deeper level about this on this week's Brave Podcast which you can listen to on Spotify or Apple .
I wonder if we could all be brave enough today to see where shame has led us to fear, leading to control and punishment? Can we see this in ourselves first, then look to how our environments lead towards this? Can we face this in ourselves so we can rise to create more brave spaces (which is what we all want to do). But it starts with the man in the mirror first.? You can't create something you're not committed to becoming.
If we want people to feel safe around us, we need to first BE SAFE.? If we want to move away from fear, control and punishment in our relationships we need to BE BRAVE. Keep being brave to lean in to the messy middle of creating something wonderful inside yourself first so you can create it for others. And if you ever need help creating this, I'm here to support you.
What are your thoughts? I would love to hear.
Co-Founder @ Yellow Letter Creative Agency | Multimedia Communication Strategies | Tech Stacker | Playful Calgary Business Professional
11 个月I love this so much! Collaboration is way more enticing when you create a space that makes participation an empowering experience rather than a source of fear and failure.