Moving on From Domestic Abuse

I was going to write about something completely different and then realised that I hadn't talked about Domestic Violence Awareness month at all this month and it's nearly over!

Yep, I know we know about it BUT how much are we really aware of the signs from friends and other loved ones who might be suffering in silence. Silence because they are scared, frightened of what might happen if their dirty secret is revealed. What might happen to them and/or their children?

We can so easily look away when any subject that might be uncomfortable rears its ugly head - I know I do sometimes. I like to to focus on the positive things in life. Of course I do! I'm a Positive Change Coach for f**k's sake. And yes it does really really help. However, sometimes, we have to face the facts of what's going on and the more we are aware, the more we can help others or ourselves if we are the victims.

Every victim of domestic violence has a different, terrible story but some of the underlying details can be quite similar. The thing is, she can feel like she’s the only person in the world going through it. I know men and gender fluids can also be victims BUT the vast majority of victims are women and often, their children because of what they witness and endure themselves.

I want these women to feel that they are seen, they are heard and acknowledged.

So, I'm talking Domestic Violence Awareness Month and possibly some new ideas of how women can move on from domestic abuse.?

I want to say if you or anyone you know is in danger or just know it’s time to get out or get that person out, I am sharing some emergency and advice telephone numbers, follow this link.

I am spiritual but before I really understood the Law of Attraction or had immersed myself in the world of Louise Hay, I just trusted. I did what I had to do but once everything was set in motion, I just knew we were going to be alright.?

It wasn’t all plain sailing by any means but when I look back to who I was and to the person I am now, I am the same person but oh so different. I wish the same for you or the woman out there that you might know who is living this living nightmare.

Whilst it’s so important to stand up to any abusive behaviour, what I would like to see is a change in the whole perspective.?

This can be through education but I truly believe that if I had loved myself more, I wouldn’t have attracted someone like this person into my life in the first place.

Thankfully, I have been in such a good place for a long time now that I no longer regret it as it has made me who I am and I really love that.

Also, if the abuser had loved himself more, then they would never have been in such a terrible place that they would get pleasure from making another human being suffer in any way.?

After all, as Louise Hay said, "we are all victims of victims".?

Rather than just fighting domestic abuse, I’d love us to focus on a world where all humans respect and love each other. Where we accept each others’ differences and seek to heal our own mental wounds rather than lash out and hurt the people they're supposed to love over and over again.

I know, it feels like a big ask but has the anti-war movement?or fight against?poverty really worked??

I’d rather put my attention on a peaceful and loving world.

That is why I’m sharing this meditation – this is a meditation or even a visualisation that can help women heal from the trauma as victims of domestic abuse. This could be happening right now, it could be recent or if they are still living with the trauma of past abuse and they are fearful of repeating the same pattern.?

Within this meditation, I also focus on welcoming in a world where there is only love.?

A big part of Louise Hay’s work involves meditations.

Here are a few science-based benefits of meditation

• Reduces stress. Stress reduction is one of the most common reasons people try meditation.
• Controls anxiety.
• Promotes emotional health.
• Enhances self-awareness.
• Lengthens attention span.
• May reduce age-related memory loss.
• May help fight addictions.

Anne Blythe, the founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery?said the following:

“ Many women who experience the trauma of abuse find themselves having difficulty processing that trauma and pain.

Meditation can help provide clarity and offer space for that processing to happen safely. “

There is evidence that where 1% of the population started meditating, the indicators of a better quality of life for all increased.?

For example, there was less crime recorded.?

If we are all connected, as I believe, then when many people are meditating and becoming more peaceful, that would clearly send out waves of peace and love and understanding.?

In the?The New Science of Life?by Rupert Sheldrake,?he suggests there is a “morphogenic field” that contains all the thoughts there are.?

I would call this the universe, but he is a scientist!?

Anyway, Sheldrake believes that as we put more thoughts of peace into this field, it will create more peace on the planet.

So, if we think in terms of solutions rather than problems,?we assist the solutions needed for helping our planet.?

For example, if you focus on the “problems” of pollution or poverty,?the problem is strengthened.?

If you focus on knowing that there are solutions,?you are putting energy into finding the solution.?

Have you ever heard the phrase - what we resist persists??

I think it’s so true…?

Don’t think of a pink elephant…??? ?? What are you thinking of now?

So, in your personal life and our collective life, if you continue to complain and focus about a situation,?the energy persists to continue the problem.?

If you are focused on the energy of a solution,?even though you may have no idea what that solution is,?you are giving energy to the solution.?

To find out what Louise Hay had to say about the subject, follow this link

The meditation and visualisation I have shared here can be listened to as many times as needed and, of course, it can be shared with others who will benefit.

If this feels all too familiar, life can be so so difficult for you and if children are involved, of course, it can be even worse.?It could be like you’re living a life of torture every day.

Reach out – there are organisations that you can speak to if you can’t talk to anyone close.?In the same blog, I have listed a range of websites and numbers.

Follow this link for Domestic Abuse National helplines

You are never alone.

Maybe you have moved on from an emotionally, sexually and/or physically abusive relationship but you are very much feeling the trauma in your body. It could be that you are worried about repeating those patterns.?

By working with me over my?6 Love Yourself Coaching sessions, you can let go of the past for good.?

You can write a new story for yourself?AND?have real hope and optimism for the future –?here is a link?to my contact page where you can book in a call to discuss how I may be able to help.