Moving Beyond Despair: Staying Focused when Things Go Wrong

In 1994, there was a devastating flood in Albany, GA. At that time, we had lived there for a little over 8 years and it was heart-wrenching to see so many friends, coworkers, and neighbors lose so much so suddenly. Many people lost everything they had in this world, in some cases being left without a roof over their heads, all in one fell swoop.

Miraculously, our home was one of the few that remained dry and unharmed. We had a lot to be thankful for and the experience of living through the aftermath of that disaster is one that I will never forget.

Life as we had known it just a few days earlier had completely changed. For many, that change was catastrophic and their lives would never be the same.

The manufacturing plant where I was working was partially flooded and countless employees were either stranded at the plant away from their families, or away from the plant tending to the most basic needs of survival.

The two bridges that went over the river between my house and the plant had been destroyed. Until they were repaired, we had to go way up north to cross the river and come back down south on the other side, turning a commute that used to be 15 minutes into one that took 1.5 hours.

No matter who people were before the flood, everyone had to adjust to the impact of the devastation that it brought into their lives. In the first few days after the flood, the feeling of despair and hopelessness cast a long shadow over the community. However, little by little, there was progress. In a community that was very racially divided in many ways, there was a sense of camaraderie among people who saw each other as human beings instead of one of “those people.” There were random acts of kindness toward strangers. Businesses found a way to get going again, and people rebuilt their lives.

Reflecting on this event and many other occasions in my life, I am reminded of my dear friend, Hamid Daftarian, who left us all too soon nearly 11 years ago at age 52. In response to setbacks big and small, he used to always say, “This too shall pass!”

As I think back on the many experiences I have had since I left my birth country of Iran at age 16, I cannot help but think he was right. These include, but aren’t limited to: Not having a place to live two weeks after I came to a country where I had no contacts and no resources; Getting severely beaten up on day 25; Having to walk to work in the hardest winter Boston ever had to wash dishes at night with a broken finger and many other injuries before going to school in the morning; Being confronted with an angry mob armed with shotguns in a small town where I was going to college, looking to kill Iranian students during the hostage crisis of 1979; Being refused service at a restaurant in Delaware because of my wife and children’s race; and too many other challenges to list here.

I think about how blessed I have been to have not only survived those challenges, but to have risen above them and to have thrived in spite of them.

“This too shall pass” is not a mantra of passivity. Just the opposite. It’s intended to strengthen our resolve to remain committed to a brighter future despite what we may see right in front of us. It does not mean accepting the status quo as the end, but instead treating the current situation as the only starting point we have to move forward to the designed future of our choosing.

If this message finds you in a state of despair and disappointment, I hope that you remain focused on your commitments even though the path may not look exactly as you imagined it. The floods may come and go, but nothing changes the obligations we have to others and ourselves to achieve our vision. Patience is key when nothing seems to be going right and it seems like there’s nothing you can do. As long as you don’t abandon your commitments and your principles, you will be able to survive and even thrive despite the adversity you may face. I have committed to this mindset and I hope you will do the same.

The attached article will provide some insight on what holds us back from pursuing our commitments and what we can do to get back on track. I hope you will find it relevant.

Further Resources

If you’d like to learn more about topics covered in this week’s newsletter article, check out the related resources I’ve included below.

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