On moving, anniversaries, and avoiding conflicts.

RcokPaperScissors has a new home, just a few minutes walk from the Orchard Road area of Singapore. Why does that warrant a few words here? Well, it now means it’s easier to meet with you, for a coffee and chin wag about the things that you are looking to move forward within your business.?Or just to have a coffee.

But in order to get to this new location, we first needed to move apartments, from the quite nice but less centrally located Katong neighbourhood.?

Moving house. Just saying those words fills me with anxiety, excitement, opportunity, and well, sheer terror. Don’t get me wrong, I actually love to move. It gives one a change of pace, scenery, an opportunity to clean out closets and dust bunnies, as well as an entire new inventory of restaurants to order food from.?

When we decided to move, my executive producer hat went on, mapping out the investment for the move itself, the search for the right location, the right production partners (movers, cleaners, agents). Looking at the calendar, driven by two dates that couldn’t change, our exit day from the Katong Apt, and our wedding anniversary, I found the best windows for packing, the physical move in, the deliveries from Ikea and a local furniture store, the installers from StarHub (local broadband). The move required precise timing, and inter-agency cooperation, as I wanted to be in, and unboxed, before our anniversary. So basically I was shooting our product launch video 4 days before release. I should be smarter than that. But again, the calendar and the dates that can’t move.?

So much excitement quickly turning into frustration. The new place is smaller, but has a private roof top garden. Which means that “the collections” might need to be edited down. The books, the vinyl records, the plush toys, the shoes, the trendy fashion vs the timeless pieces…? everything has a price during a move, and that price is space available.?

I work quickly. I edit quickly. I build boxes and line the hallway with them, so they are within arms reach from any room, the commercial tape gun, and the fat marker for labelling my constant companion. My wife is different. She is methodical, slower to act, our paces aren’t in sync, our vision for what a successful move looks like have not been established. I under-communicated (my wife she can read my mind, right?) and she over-communicated. (Did I say that politely?)?

This is where the tension begins to increase, between production services (that’s me) and the client (my wife.) My production services management was amazing. I managed to schedule walkthroughs, handovers, deliveries, and installs within a tight two hour window. We were now green lit for the big move the next day. But we were stepping into production day not aligned, and without a clear, shared vision.?

The moving, the unboxing, the organising, the re-edits, and the once valued footage is now strewn across the cutting room floor. And the client is not happy. Like every project I have lead, there is always a point where your absolutes become nice to haves, and “it would be great if” become “ let’s see if it fits in the budget”.?

In four days from moving day it is our 8th wedding anniversary. Always a wonderful day, because we really enjoy being married to each other. And I am blowing the lead up to the day.?

So here is where I try and tie this back to work, client management, communication, and how to run a stress free project even when surrounded by the issues that will inevitably fuck up your plans.?

• Do not assume your client (or your life partner) can read your mind. Over communicate early. So many of our miscues could have been avoided if we were properly aligned from, well, BEFORE the beginning.?
• They are small things to you, but giant things to others. Try and see EVERYTHING through the other’s eyes, and emotions.?
• Share your challenges as they arise. This is something I already knew, but failed to put into action. In production work, I have a lot of earned and learned experience that allow me to see around the corner, and anticipate what might go wrong, what is going wrong, and hopefully, act to change the direction of the issue. But when the entire team can’t see what you see, they are left in the dark, unprepared, and unable to help when needed. A simple 5 minute break in the action to get everyone onside is so valuable.?
• Practice grace and gratitude. A please and thank you go a long way during pressure situations. Treating others gracefully, no matter the levels of tension, is just the right thing to do. Grace and gratitude will calm the choppiest of waters.?

We made it through our move. We are still married, and extremely happy. Its now day 3 post event, everything is finding its place, nothing of value was shattered (except maybe my ego), hurt feelings have healed, and the important rooms have been “broken in”.?

Our anniversary was celebrated rather low-key this year, amid cardboard boxes, a surplus of hangers and a lack of closet space, but because we really dig each other, weekends on our roof garden, a fired up barbecue and a city view sundowner will more than make up for the lack of “celebration” for years to come.?

And I have learned a few more things along the way.?

Your partner is not your client. Sounds obvious in retrospect, but when you let the tools and processes over shadow your personal or professional relationships, you will disappoint someone, or everyone, along the way.?

Jab and slip. Not at each other. Maybe more like plan and pivot. Shit changes. Duh. Make space for that.?

And finally, your choice in partners is going to be what really will make or break, you, your production, your happiness, whatever it is. Choose wisely, as I did. And then keep that partner close. This won’t be the only time you will need them.