Moving Ahead

Perspectives on Dealing with Change & Loss through COVID

Over the past year, COVID has changed us all in personal & unique ways. Clearly, those whose health has been directly impacted or whose family members have been affected have felt its reach the most. Beyond the attacks on our health, COVID has also quietly snatched away meaningful moments of life with its far-reaching impact. In our personal lives, births & deaths, moves & marriages, each have had to be observed in non-traditional ways, often alone. And the workplace is not exempt, where job interviews, terminations and promotions all now happen virtually, and long-anticipated events and projects have been postponed indefinitely or cancelled altogether. While tempting to simply "soldier on", pausing to fully experience the range of emotions this loss of control can create is an important part of moving on, something I’ve personally been reflecting on as I prepare to leave my own job next month.

Last Friday, I returned to our adidas Canada offices to pack up my final belongings. My daily schedule from March 18, 2020 was still on my desk, a time capsule nod to the start of this COVID journey. 18 years of memories being sorted, examined, and packed away…in absolute solitude. I never would have envisioned such a quiet, personal experience as I near this next finish line in my life. But in that solitude, I reflected on 4 things I took away from the experience, shared here in hopes they may help others who are also navigating life changes not fully in our control. Here’s what I learned.

1.      Find Your Silver Lining

I won't lie - as I drove up to the office, there was a little voice whispering how anti-climactic this was, after 18 years. Of course I recognize that COVID has turned things upside down for all of us. We’ve lost what is familiar, we've lost traditional rites of closure, and things that we envisioned would happen have not materialized in the ways we thought they would. And yet as I walked the halls in silence, my sense of letdown gradually transformed to a beautiful gratitude. I was free to pause and reflect, to relive special memories of special people and remember proud moments in peace. I had the privilege of sorting through belongings unrushed, a smile on my face as I reflected on hard work, and on both goals and dreams unrealized and achieved alike. Ever the optimist, I realized that the opportunity to take one final lap on my own was a gift, and something COVID had granted me rather than taken away. Finding silver linings and seeing what has become possible in the face of adversity is a small way to find meaning, and to help come to terms with changes we face.

2.      Acknowledge What’s Missing

Optimist though I am, it also isn’t healthy to sweep emotion under the rug under a false pretense of positivity. Yes, there are silver linings, but there is also often something or things we are losing in times of change, even when we choose the change ourselves. Asking questions like “Why does this matter to me?” and “What’s hard about this?” can help us to see what we value, and to openly acknowledge loss. For me, I absolutely crave personal connection, and I’ve always been one to mark milestones and occasions. On this particular day, there was no special marking of the occasion, no one stopping by to check in and chat. I’ve missed that dearly this past year. And while I know there will be chances for me to reconnect with my team to celebrate, it was important to be mindful and aware of what was missing, and why it mattered. It didn’t need to be “fixed”, it just needed to be named. In doing so, we can soften the edges of what we go without.

3.      Allow Time for Transition

We often marvel at those with agility who move quickly through change, but a recent read entitled “Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes” highlighted the distinction between "the ending", which is the actual change itself, and the "neutral zone", which is the essential period required for us to process that change before we get to "the new beginning". (a special thank you to my good friend Yan Martin for gifting this gem to me as I started my own transition)

While it's tempting to push quickly through the emotions that come with a change, William Bridges advocates for a more thoughtful and paced approach, where we properly deal with and embrace the transition versus racing past to the next. (we don’t actually bury those emotions, by the way, but rather we usually see them surface on their own when left unresolved) When I first announced my upcoming departure from adidas, I found myself immediately planning for my next chapter, literally almost planning to launch my new coaching business the day after I departed. With wise counsel and my own intuition nudging me to take a breath, I’ll now take time over the summer to adjust to my transition, and to fully honor the experience and all that it brings with it. And while I’m fortunate to be able to set that time aside, transition need not come in the form of a full sabbatical-like break. It can be as simple as quiet, consistent reflection on walks or in a journal, or open conversations with a friend, partner or mentor to explore the feelings in that transitional period of limbo in the neutral zone. Allowing time to acknowledge the event that has taken place prepares us to eventually move forward with peace and resolve for what comes next.

4.      Find Little Ways to Stay True to You

One of the most frustrating and difficult by-products of COVID has been just how many things are now beyond our control. This feeling of powerlessness is uncomfortable, and can be discouraging and dispiriting to even the most positive among us. And yet if we try, there are always ways to bring our values to the surface and put our own fingerprint on the process. As I packed up and got ready to leave, a note on the whiteboard for my successor to discover when he arrives brought a sense of closure to me in the moment. With 2 heavy boxes to take out, I enlisted the help of the security guard who now dutifully watches our office in its lockdown state. As we made our way to the exit, I asked if he wouldn’t mind taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Once a friendly fitness challenge to take the stairs when I worked on the Reebok brand, it’s now become an unbroken streak for the past 8+ years. And though it was a small way of putting my stamp on a very surreal experience, I walked out the doors with a smile on my face, knowing I'd kept the streak in tact, and I was leaving in my unique way.

Without question, the impacts of COVID on our physical, mental and economic health have been unimaginable. In no way do I equate my own very fortunate and philosophical experience with the difficulties endured by many. Yet I can relate to the feeling of seeing control of meaningful events slip somewhat out of our hands, and hope that this helps provide a different perspective to help others navigate change that’s not fully in their control.

I’d love to hear from you: what changes have been most difficult for you to manage through this past year, and what’s helped you make it through? Please leave your thoughts in the comments.