“Move role or move company” he said.

“Move role or move company”

As soon as I heard these words, I knew that there was a story that needed to be heard and probably couldn’t be told in full. So, we hit a compromise.

Andi (a pseudonym) and I chatted about her experience as a senior leader in banking, going through menopause.

“I can't sleep.

I think I'm going crazy.

I've got terrible anxiety, in fact I'm actually quite paranoid about certain work relationships. One colleague in particular has always been rude and quite tricky and my tolerance is wearing thin. My perspective is really shifting.

It’s driving me crazy.”

This was just the tip of the iceberg in regards to how Andi felt over her last few months at work.

“I had a break at Christmas time and it was so nice to be off work.

I felt better when I was at home and I realised, I can't go on like this. I'm going to go crazy.

When I went back to work, it led to a conversation with my boss.

What I got back from him when I tried to broach what was going on was:

‘You know you've got to decide what you want to do.

You either move jobs or move company.

Maybe this isn't the place for you anymore.’

You know, these things happen, in the world of finance.”

This story was starting to sound all too familiar…

“No-one said to me: ‘Oh you're about that age’ you know, no-one. Not even another female member of staff and there were some senior women at the time. It just wasn't really something that was talked about.”

So what happened next?

“I left, it's wonderful.

I feel so much better, I can sleep now. I took redundancy in the end.

I'm speaking out because I want to make sure that other women don't feel as bad as I did, because I didn't know what was happening to me.

I had been with the firm a long time. I feel like I did my bit. Now I'm thinking about a board role, or maybe not.“

I asked Andi if she had any final thoughts.

“You know, it made me wonder whether it was just because I wasn't getting on with my boss as well as usual, it felt that my role was surplus to requirements. You do wonder, don't you?

Maybe I was more scratchy, at that point in time, who knows.

In my firm, menopause was a very big tick in the diversity box. The attitude was we've done this training, we're good. But you know it doesn't change it. Really, there's still a long way to go, particularly at the top in banking”

And that my dear readers, is the crux:

There is still a long way to go; in banking, law, engineering … everywhere where we are yet to achieve a 50:50 balance of women in leadership roles. 

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