Move and Groove #19 - Fear
I had a friend in high school who seemed fearless - he could talk to anyone, would do risky stunts, and would stand up to bullies. Meanwhile, I was afraid to take risks and avoided conflict at all costs. My fear was out of proportion with actual risk and I envied him. He wasn't fearless, he was courageous. He taught me to act before fear set in.
I am skeptical of fearlessness. Maybe your courage helps you feel less fear-full, but I question being fear-less. Even in the comfort bubble, I encounter fear of not living authentically, not doing my best work, or not telling someone how I really feel before I can't any more. Fear helps me separate the rational from the irrational, stops me from doing stupid stuff, and motivates me to action. When I experience fear consciously or unconsciously, I try to figure out what the root cause is. Sometimes the cause is clear - a diagnosis or a texting driver that almost wipes you out. Sometimes it is harder - a general unease or anxiety, anger arising, or a deeper emotional anchor tied to something scary.
One fear (technically an anxiety since it is in the future) I am working on is totally self-inflicted - running through the night during a 24-hour race on April 6th. When I inspect this anxiety, the cold and the darkness is scary, but what I really fear is not doing my best work, which I believe is a proxy for that same fear in my career. It's easy to train for the cold and dark by training in the cold and dark (basic exposure therapy). It's harder to train for the conscious fear because the associated emotions and beliefs behind it are deeply held. I believe that training courage for this small fear will strengthen my courage in areas that really matter - death, health, flourishing.
Neuroscience Nugget: Fear is a natural response orchestrated by our brain's limbic system, primarily the amygdala, which alerts us to perceived threats. Fear can be protective but can become paralyzing when it's out of proportion to the actual risk. A study in Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews (LeDoux & Pine, 2016) suggests a framework for managing fear by understanding the two mechanisms of fear - unconscious and conscious. Unconscious fear allows our survival circuits to fire our muscles so we jump out of the way of that texting driver. Conscious fear involves the prefrontal cortex, which integrates information from the survival circuits, emotions, and senses. Both unconscious and conscious fear response can be trained. By facing our fears we can rewire our brain to respond more adaptively in future situations.
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Pep Talk: It's OK to be afraid. Fear can be a healthy reminder that we're challenging ourselves appropriately. Trust in your ability to overcome the challenge using courage. Each time you face a fear, you're not only conquering that specific task but also strengthening your mental fortitude for the future. Let's make this a week of bravery and breakthroughs!
Face your fears, find your strength, and see you next Monday! ??????