Move, get out of the way – here comes the NLP

Confusion begins with etymology, a mixture of French and Russian: a dandified acronym formed on Greek and Latin roots. Means a “linguistic-nervous programming”. Teaches you to conjure rapport, gleam with adjustments, and shine with mirroring. Say “halva” to sweeten the pill.

Hypnotic leaders abuse the models of verbal correction. Feeble negotiators curse the “insuperability of mental pressure”. Those who fail, complain about the enchanting power of the beckoning non-verbal manifestation. The biggest wiliness is to explain personal failures by a third-party psychological effect.

One-hour training and a page-based article is enough to be listed as one who mastered a formidable craft, but most of those who mention it, slander a useful skill for nought. NLP, in spite of preponderant myths, only offers a communication model. We do not blame the ocean for the synchronism of the waves, we do not look for evil in it.

Rephrasing corrects the inner meaning. Change “How could she?” on “Why did I allow her?” – the event will appear in a completely different light. When adults complain, referring to injuries from parents, I advise: “It is never too late to have a happy childhood!”, intending that there is always a chance to rethink the past.

The past cannot be changed, but you can transform the experience, and thinking will redefine being. Do not want to jump out from the blanket for a run? Develop the paradigm from “must” to “can”. Do you want enhancement? Update the firmware from “want” to “deserve”. “I cannot dance” change to “I am ready to learn”.

Do not agree to be influenced – change yourself. Why wait for a wind or current? Start the linguistic upgrade! It is necessary to master the modification of internal representations. Despite the cleverness, one has only to look behind the backstage of consciousness in order to understand the work of the brain gears.

By improving and learning form others, put up with the difference in combinatorics of representative systems. Most use visual, acoustic and kinesthetic perception of individual proportions. Some think in images, others can be reasoned by sounds, rest want to touch. Without vulgarity!

Work with transformable reflections of reality takes place at the frequency of perception. Otherwise, we get a conversation between the blind and the deaf – the first does not see, the second one does not hear – the agreement is unattainable. We communicate with the American in English, call up pigeons with “ghouls-ghouls”, with close people chatter in gibberish.

Why are we attacking others with unpersonalized emotions? What is worth watching the dominant predicates? One of visual modality will be charmed with “peer”, “shining”, “foreshortening”. Audial ones reacts to the “bell”, “resonance”, “sigh”. Preferring kinesthetic sensations will hear “affectionately”, “scratch”, “fragility”.

One who trusts his nose will be pleased with “smoky”, “sharp”, “smack”. The undecided one will be given out by “motivate”, “know”, “frivolously”. Who thinks in terms of strict logic will be woken up with “clarify the situation”, “get the data”, “settle the matter”. Connect to the desired version of the sublanguage and do not thank for the recommendation. Life will improve!

The next step is a demonstration of congruence, when words correspond to actions, and facial expressions are supported by gestures. Doing like this you will disarm the interlocutor by integrity, harmony, adequacy. To change the topic, feel, mood, practice detachment – the replacement of patterns.

There is no endless sausage, the theme is either becomes exhausting or boring. We enthrall the listener with a different frequency of broadcasting, we assemble a new background, launch the hidden effects. It is not a bad idea to highlight the “world map” in time – how reality seems to you, and what the counterpart thinks about it. Otherwise, the paths may not cross.

Let us raise the stakes for those who have enough patience, drawing attention to the keys of the eye access – the standard movements of the mirrors of the soul. “Right up to the neighbor's eye – creates a pattern”, – collects parts of the thoughts without having ready images. “The poor man looked to the left – he remembered the trouble” –tries to reproduce by memory what he heard.

“Glance to the right – building thoughts, well done!” – meticulously creates a phrase. “Looked down and to the left – stuck to the principle”, compares discussed with life values. “Looked down to the right – stopped by the emotion,” – anticipates or experiences feelings.

“Looks directly – talks stubbornly”, – conducts an internal dialogue, sorting out doubts, picking up arguments. “Glances up to the left – clearly recalled the fright” – restores the circumstances in memory. Many believe that they are able to control eye movements. May be. Not more than 40 minutes.

Synaesthesia will help to recognize those who restrain – the simultaneous experience of sensory feelings in two or more modalities. If the spoken and observed are not combined – the neuro-polyglot is in front of you: feels words, smells, sees numbers. Or ambidextrous one – are not found often.

It is not bad to understand the meta-states then – “unrelated abstractions”, “thoughts about ideas”, “starting points of reference”. Feel of fear, the possessiveness of love, serenity of peace endow discourse with colors. Buy a yacht – fine, paying exorbitantly – terrible. That's how attractors work.

Do not forget about the frames – the context, the environment, the way to perceive. It looks like the angle of view, the choice of the side, the game for the team. “To score a goal” is wonderful, “in the own gates” is lousy. Not far away the reframing is grazing – changing the view to alter the attitude of the world, setting new coordinates for the “clean sheet”.

Did you hear about dissociation? Observation “from outside”, even at events that happen with you. Removes emotions from the action. It is easier to tell than to learn – try to make yourself self-assured that it is better to go to bed before midnight. Forgetting about unfinished business and overhanging deadline. It looks like a game of reason.

Talk about NLP cannot be finished, it must be completed. Therefore, go out of confusion, develop a sensory acuity, and do not take the heavy in your hands and bad in the head. There are no more reasons to be afraid of NLP charlatans and to fear lingua-amulets.

Look only at the good, keep the body clean and thoughts fine, do not neglect warm-up!

Author: Oleg Braginsky

Source: New Retail

Translation: Daniil Shmitt