Move Forward And, Water Your Own Grass

When divorce happens, it is important to take the opportunity to learn about yourself.

Learning from other couple's success can help in the journey of divorce.

I heard this interview with Jon Bon Jovi recently-

Success with the same values.

According to the interview, Jon has some key takeaways. Jon attributes the success of his marriage to Dorothea Hurley with-

1) Admiration and mutual respect.

2) It’s about WE and not ME, being a good listener, and growing together.

3) "What I love about her is that there is no doubt that she loves me."

As for money, I appreciate Jon's perspective-

"Money doesn’t make you smart it makes you rich."

and

"That shallow ?? will ruin you." Referring to who you can get something from.

Jon's insight is valuable; however, financial matters become a major concern during a divorce.

And during divorce, we are not ourselves.

With divorce at 50%, it's clear that at least half of us didn't find the perfect match in our neighborhood with our same values, like Jon and Dorothea or Tommy and Gina.

We've been singing, "You Give Love A Bad Name."

But now, if divorce is our destiny we can declare, "It's My Life."

In her book, The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage, Kate Anthony delves into themes of love, loss, culture, recovery, and growth. She provides a wealth of information to help women navigate the complex issues they face when considering divorce.

She explores the significant historical impact of women leaving their careers to manage a successful family unit. I would love to go off on a tangent about the lack of respect for homemakers in America, but I'll refrain and let you read her book for more details where she cites numbers.

This book offers valuable insights for anyone considering divorce, recently divorced, or who has experienced divorce and is still healing. It's ?????????? from me.

The final takeaway from the book was clear: water your own grass. This emphasizes the importance of HEALING after a divorce to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

Often and historically women haven’t shared their stories because

A) They didn’t have time to worry about the past there was too much to do now.

B) They wanted to protect their children.

C) They didn’t think it would make a difference.

D) Due to an abusive situation, their truth would negatively affect their future

I recently documented my mother's life story and uncovered a wealth of previously unspoken family history. Maybe addressing these uncomfortable topics now could better prepare future generations??

What I am afraid of is that learning will lead to avoidance of considering a family. My children have always been my greatest gift and they strengthen my purpose. Truthfully, there is no way to avoid difficulties in life, the real problem is when you don't learn from your mistakes. Now is the time to learn.

“It's good to learn from your mistakes. It's better to learn from other people's mistakes.” ~ Warren Buffet

With this in mind, I am excited to announce the beginning of my weekly divorce story series.

You can watch or listen to it live in my private Facebook group. We'll be hearing anonymous divorce stories. Our first one is this Wednesday, May 22nd , Jane #101's divorce story and recovery.

I've talked to many women about their stories and often there are similarities, wouldn't it have been great if we could have learned our lessons earlier? Or prepared? We'll keep it anonymous to help avoid some people's hesitation in sharing.

Please join the private group...you can request to join here.

We will discuss the best way to water our own grass, take responsibility and move forward with strength and confidence.

Knowledge is power!

Dianne Shumway, MBA, CDFA?, CRC?

If you need to chat, set up an appointment here.