The Mouse with Canadian Wings ????????

My hands were trembling slightly as I held the scissors, the blades resting against the plastic of my permanent residence card.

There's a weird feeling in my gut.

It's just a piece of plastic, but it's been part of my life for 14 years.

It was more than just an ID; it was a forming chapter of my life.

And there I was, about to close it and cut my PR card into pieces.

As the scissors closed, a flurry of memories rushed through my mind - my first day in Toronto, when I walked through 20 cm of snow, my first job working at a documentary production company, meeting my wife for the first time, the businesses I started, the friendships I made and the sense of belonging that grew each passing year.

But let me take you back to where this all began…

The invitation

A week earlier, my heart skipped a beat when I spotted an email from Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada.

I knew exactly what this email was about: my final step to becoming a Canadian citizen - a process I started over two years ago.

I clicked on the email, my eyes scanning the words eagerly.

Excitement bubbled up inside me when I read that I was invited to take my oath of citizenship.

But then I hit a snag – the ceremony was in 6 days!

And it was on Zoom!

But then, I kept reading….

"By participating in this video oath ceremony, you confirm that you, and any family members associated with your application, will be taking the Oath of citizenship in Canada."

So, I emailed them right away to let them know that I am not currently in Canada and if there is any possibility of taking my oath from Germany.

After all, it was just a Zoom call, right?

But then I kept researching online, and everyone said the same thing: "Don't risk it, just fly to Canada!" Because if you lie or cheat and they find out, that's the end of my citizenship process, and they might even bar you from entering Canada ever again.

If I didn't fly back, would I lose this opportunity? The risk was too high.

So I booked my ticket at the last minute and, 3 days later, landed in Toronto.

The ceremony

I quickly messaged some friends to ask if they could host me for my weeklong visit to Toronto, but I wanted to pick a special place to celebrate the ceremony. I was fortunate that one of the first Canadians I met (I think Andrea was literally the 3rd one) could host me in her home for the ceremony.

So on Tuesday, I was sitting in Andrea's dining room, my iPad propped up, my family on a video call.

The moment had come.

On the call were about 20 other people, some with their families, all filled with hope and anticipation. Although we were from all corners of the world, I felt a deep sense of connection, united by our journey to this point.

One by one, we checked in with the clerk, had to prove our identity and that we were indeed in Canada (I had to pull up Google Maps to show where I was) and then it got real:

A mix of emotions washed over me as I cut up my permanent residence card. It was a symbolic farewell to a significant part of my life. The card fell away in pieces, and with it, a chapter closed.

Then, the judge welcomed us to this special day. She talked about our long and arduous journey to this moment, and when she said, "You have now arrived home," emotions hit me.

Around me, on the screen, I saw other faces, some teary, some smiling broadly - this resonated deeply.

When it was time to sing the national anthem, I could not help it and started to cry. My voice was shaky, filled with emotion, while I heard all of our voices out of sync, trying to sing in English and French.

The ceremony concluded, and I was officially a Canadian citizen.

I felt a sense of accomplishment and belonging to a nation that I had grown to love and call home.

The mouse

After living in Canada for 14 years (a third of my life), it felt validating to have the proof on paper of how I feel internally.

Since moving to Germany two years ago, I have had difficulty fitting in. I was gone for too long and couldn't relate to a lot of Germans who had never left the country. Even now, I still feel like a stranger here.

But one story my friend Romy Alexandra shared with me after the move helped me understand how I feel.

It's the story of a mouse who always dreamed of having wings.

So every night, before going to sleep, the mouse would pray, "Please give me wings."

And one day, the mouse magically grew wings, and he was so excited that he went to show his mouse friends: "Look at my beautiful wings. Aren't they magnificent?!"

The other mice looked at him in disgust: "You're not a mouse anymore! You don't belong here anymore! Go hang out with the birds!"

With a sad face, the mouse spread his new wings and flew up to the trees.

When he tried to connect with birds, they said: "You're not a bird. You're a mouse with wings. You don't belong here!"

So, the mouse headed back down to his old mouse friends, but they also didn't want anything to do with it anymore.

"You're not one of us!" they said.

It wasn't until the mouse found ANOTHER mouse with wings that he finally found HIS PEOPLE - the community he felt like he belonged.

Why am I sharing this story, Jan?

For the longest time, I have felt like a "mouse with wings," in Canada, I have found my community - a country of mice with wings. But since coming back to Germany, I have only started to find others. They are really good at hiding!

Fostering Belonging

When you work with a group, you very likely have people in there who are hiding their wings. They might have gotten hurt before when showing up as their whole self and stopped revealing themselves to people. They put up their armour and pretend to be someone they are not.

So here are some questions for you to ponder this week:

• · How can you invite your participants to reveal and spread their wings?
• · How can you help them get the courage to be vulnerable and risk feeling excluded if there is nobody like them?
• · How do you increase their courage to be uncomfortable?

It is crucial to create an environment where people feel safe to be vulnerable and share their true selves. There is a real opportunity to feel not alone, but you'll need to create the right environment for that to happen.

So, what's next:

Well, for now, Germany is still where I am. My family and roots are here, and there's much to cherish. But with my new Canadian passport, the possibilities are endless. I can now explore, work, and live with the freedom that this new chapter brings.

I'm already planning another trip to Canada this September. I'll be hosting an in-person training in Toronto and then attending an adult summer camp. It's a chance to reconnect, to weave my two worlds together.

And who knows? Maybe, in time, I'll return to Canada, a place that's given me so much. But for now, I'll bask in the joy of this moment, a milestone that marks a new beginning in my journey.

PS: If you also feel like a mouse with wings, comment below and let me know. It always feels good to know that you're not the only one ??