"Mourning Hair" Blog #55: Death and Taxes
The Learning Experience Doylestown, PA
The Learning Experience Doylestown
"Mourning Hair" Blog #55: Death and Taxes
If you are lucky, you get to grow up in a home where you feel safe and secure. Not every child gets that opportunity, but I was fortunate. Until the script is flipped, most of us don't really think about this. We grow up, get an education, hopefully a job/career that we like, maybe get married and have a family, and begin adulting... It's only when you wake up one morning and have to take care of your parents that you start to look at things in a new perspective.
This week was the first time I have ever been scared of losing a parent. I don't often think about this. Even when my mom had cancer I never thought she would lose the battle. It's my father that doesn't take care of himself. He is the one I am always worried about, not ever my mother.
This week my mother has been very sick and was having trouble breathing. Naturally we went to the hospital for care. She, being the stubborn person that she is, decided not to be admitted on our first visit. She came home with me and I cared for her. The next day she went home and, we thought, was feeling better.
While my cell phone was upstairs charging, my mother called and was in distress. I didn't know this so she called my neighbor and they rushed over to get me. Thankfully she had their number, normally we have a land line, but our phone was out of power (again the reason we still have a land line). We then proceeded back to the emergency room where she was admitted.
My mother is one smart, strong, fierce, and sometimes, surly individual. It never occurs to me that she has gotten older and a little slower. I just know her for the mission driven person she is. To see her scared, I mean truly scared is soul crushing. This weekend was the first time I have ever been afraid of losing her.
I know I often joke about my mom, who doesn't. We have been through some tough times together, but she is my mom, my mother, once my mommy. No matter how old you get, there is something special and comforting about your mom, especially when you need someone to just tell you it will be alright. Now maybe I sound juvenile or ridiculous, and maybe there are those out there reading this that did not have the same experience, but for me, she has always been my biggest supporter and hardest critic. I can't imagine life without that.
The good news is that she is feeling better and home resting (I hope), she is not one to lay idle. Onto the next chapter of adulting: caring for the care-giver. It's a strange and difficult place to be.
I have been lucky, my life has been full of wonderful people and full of love. I am the daughter of my mother. What happens when that is no longer the case?
"Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes". — Benjamin Franklin
A big thank you to Doylestown Health for taking such good care of my mom!
The Learning Experience Doylestown