The mountains we climb, are mountains of the mind

Background

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche

I have been an athlete for good part of my life and have attained fair degree of success in it also. Badminton Gold Medal in All India Inter Agri Varsity Championship and representing my school (KV -2 Bhubaneswar) in KVS Nationals (Shuttle Badminton) and earning the coveted KVS jersey and kit was a dream come true. However, with time things changed, priorities changed.

Life went from being physically active to highly sedentary, results of which manifested in many ways. Life became more stressful and work life balance went for a toss. The only thing which kept me going was the mental conditioning which had happened during the formative years and hours spent on court to build endurance and increase the pain threshold (both physical & mental).

However, soon I realized I have lost my Ikigai (Japanese word loosely translated as - a reason to jump out of bed each morning). On personal and professional front, life was stable, but something was missing, and things were getting mundane and repetitive. It was time to reignite and reinvent myself. The problem was, How?

To those who are enthralled by mountains, they're wonders beyond all disputes. To those who are not, they are always a kind of madness. – Mountain (2017)

Someone I knew and close, had gone for a trek to Indrahar Pass with a group (Dhauladhar Range of the Great Himalayas). However, due to various factors, the group couldn’t complete the summit and had to return. During one of our visits, he described the hardship and utter madness involved in mountaineering. He couldn’t quite see the point in it. However, inadvertently he fueled my curiosity to explore the mountains. And suddenly I realized I had never seen the great Himalayas and had heard that pilgrimage to them gives you a humbling experience. I also wanted to experience it, and that’s how it all began. I found my Ikagai.

Moral: Identification of problem is as good as finding half the solution. We are often stuck in a rut and struggle to get out of it. In my view, seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but strength. When you are honest with people, you get honest feedback and suggestions. Pretension or sugar-coating of your problem never gives you a proper solution.  

Preparation

Because the mountains we climb are not made only of rock and ice, but also dreams and desire.

The mountains we climb, are mountains of the mind. - Mountain (2017)

After consulting with family, friends and my boss, I planned my trek in second half of October 2019 which marks the onset of winter in the Dhauladhar Range of the Himalayas (winter mountain treks are comparatively difficult and perilous). After consulting with the guide, it was decided that if the mountain permits, we will try summit the Moon Peak (4650 mt/15250 ft) which is adjacent to Indrahar Pass. Preparations started 3 months in advance and the best and most convenient way was to start running. Nothing builds endurance, both mental and physical, better than running. Generous support from my school friends who actively participated in monthly running challenge in Nike Running Club app and made the whole process interesting through gamification of the run. I had tried dabbling on running in the past but failed to keep up the momentum due to lack of context. The preparation for the summit climb gave a proper perspective to it. Slowly, but steadily, my running speed and distance improved. I felt I was ready for the climb.

And then when I was standing in front of the mountain, I felt for the first time that nothing can prepare you for it. It was the first time I realized – mountains have ways to humble the most egotistical mind.

The Climb

Day 1 (21st October, 2019):

We started our trek on a lovely Monday morning, when you could see the peak clearly from the porch of the hotel. The first day climb from a village called Naddi (which is one notch above the famous McLeod Ganj) to our first camp at Triund (elevation of 9325 ft) was strong and mesmerizing in its own way. We covered 9 km distance with easy gradient in four and half hours, much better than the usual 6-9 hours which other trekkers take. Easy gradient afforded the luxury of savoring panoramic views of the mountain and the valley, as we were not too concerned with either the technicality of the climb nor the time bound push. So, we reached Tridund at about 2 pm and rested for the rest of the day. I had a nap and in evening went for a evening trek to a nearby hillock to acclimatize to both the height and climbing with head mounted torch. Trust me, it was scary and tough. Nevertheless, we had a candle light dinner (quite literally as there was no electricity) and slept light as there was another group which had come just for an overnight fun and were too boisterous under the influence of alcohol (though its not allowed).

Day 2 (22nd October, 2019):

We had an early breakfast and before that, an early call of the nature, quite literally in the nature. It took some time to find a big boulder to relieve in a steep incline, but it was quite an experience. We left the camp at around 8 am and started climbing towards our second camp at Lahesh Cave. This section of climb was steeper and comparatively difficult than Day 1. However, on the way, we stopped to pray at a temple which is customary for all the climbers. My main guide, Sushil (from Gaddi community), offered prayers along with me and another guide Amit. It was reassuring and deeply spiritual experience for me. Along the way, we stopped at the last known habitation in form of Snowline café, where we had a hot cup of tea and met other climbers from various nationalities (Swiss and Italian). The push from snowline café to Lahesh cave gave me the first actual taste of what was in the offing the next day. I came face to face with a glacier first time in my life. It was surreal. Anyways, we reached the cave at around late afternoon and my guides made a makeshift camp for me inside the cave. The sight from the cave was one to behold. You could see towering peaks when you look up, you had glacier lumbering downhill beside your campsite and you could see the entire Kangra valley in the horizon. We also met an Italian friend, Micheal, who had climbed so far without a guide or proper equipment including warm clothing. Long story short, he would have died if not for timely intervention from our guide friends who gave him food and spare sleeping bag and also brought some dry grass to get additional insulation as the night temperature plummeted to -5 centigrade. That night was the most difficult night, both physically and psychologically.

Day 3 (23rd October, 2019): 

We woke up in the dark of the morning, had a quick breakfast (or whatever you might want to call a meal taken at 3 in morning) and started our summit push at 4 am. Since the body was rigid and cold due to lack of warm up, the initial half an hour of climb was taxing and brutal. The steep incline and height also made breathing laborious. However, at around 5.30 am when we could feel the first light of the day breaking in the horizon, a deep warmth and energy came in my body (could be because I could see where I was standing, and it was not a sight for lighthearted). Next 3 hours was laborious, scary and precarious. We had to traverse through narrow ledges with just enough space for a single footing without any safety equipment, completely relying on our focus, instinct and climbing skills. Lack of snow (due to early winter) exposed us to loose rocks which were tumbling down like a missile. Nonetheless, after continuously climbing for almost four and half hour we reached Indrahar pass (4342 mt, 14,245 ft.). The view from this vantage point was out of the world. I could see Pir Panjal range and view of the holy Manimahesh Kailash peak. As I was savoring the panoramic view, my guide’s focus was fixed at the incoming clouds. The summit of Moon Peak was almost 300 mts away, but due to precarious ledge, we had to descend towards Chamba valley and traverse upward to reach the peak situated at (4,650 mt/15,250 ft). After spending about 20 minutes at the pass, we decided to abandon our summit push as my guide had anticipated whiteout (where you cannot see your own hand in front of your face) in an hours time and to summit the peak, it would have take at least 2 hours. So, with heavy heart, we decided to descend to out camp-2. While descending, I realized why 95% of the fatalities happen during descent. I had spend much of my energy during the ascent and my adrenaline was also spent. I was digging deep into my reserves to keep the focus and push on to reach the camp before light-fade. As predicted by my guide, within hour an hour, the peak was invisible and in an hour, we were also engulfed by the thick mist. Luckily, by that time we had already negotiated the precarious part of out descent. We reached camp-2, exhausted and a bit disappointed at around 4 pm in evening and stayed overnight.

Key takeaway from the experience

Never felt more alive when I was literally living on the edge. However, I also learned that while ascent is all enthralling and gives you an adrenaline rush, one should conserve energy, hope and mental fortitude for the precarious descent of life.

When I had undertaken this journey, I had never imagined that our lives will turn so much upside down due to Covid-19. Nonetheless, the climb and the preparation accompanying it taught me that no matter how bad the situation might be, more that anything, its our never say die attitude and mental fortitude which turns out to be the difference between life and death.

I am sure many of us are going through a lot of hardship – loss of near and dear ones, loss of livelihood, salary cuts, uncertain future. But trust me, from my own experience in life (including the climb) I can confidently say that, dig deep. This too shall pass.